Praise Fowowe

Entertainment

The Husband Of The Breadseller Versus The Husband Of The Model, The Olajumoke Story! | By: Praise Fowowe

Events of the last few days have left me with mixed emotions. In as much as I am so excited about the change in fortune of Olajumoke, I have also stepped aside to think through the implications of this new found fame.
As a student of life, one thing I have come to become afraid of is instant stardom. This is because from my knowledge of history especially reading through the Bible, the first man to be an instant adult fell by the way in the third chapter of Genesis (as chronicled by the legendary leader Moses).
I am a family life coach and family is everything to me. I sit in counseling sessions daily and I am amazed at the rate at which marriages fail in this part of the world and the factors responsible for these marital failures. I come out on the strength of this to sound the alarm before what we never bargained for happens.
The attention seems to have been so much on Jumoke, the model, and I wonder what the plan is for her husband?
For the records, no story has been told of her marital relationship prior her stardom. The Yoruba speaking Olajumoke who was intellectually compatible with her husband left the house that fateful day. But, there is a new Jumoke now, one who has become a cynosure and the latest celeb in the nation.
What role would this play in her family life?
May I state here that all the corporate giants that have suddenly rolled out their drums to beat a new dance for Jumoke, the beautiful bride, should also extend the same gestures to her husband so we do not end up with a celeb whose marriage may struggle in days to come.
So here are my suggestions:
– The husband must be made to go through the same level of training Jumoke is exposed to. There is no point giving this man a modern wife when he may remain an ancient man. If Jumoke, the celebrity, is going to be an English speaking one, her husband must also become one.
– Attach the husband to a Family Life Coach or a Psychologist who can work with him to birth a mentality which matches the new status of his wife. I have seen educated men struggle with a wife who is a corporate success and can only imagine what would happen in a case as this.
– Carefully manage the relationship between Jumoke, her husband and their extended family. This is Africa and we all know the implications.
– Keep Jumoke close to TY Bello or Tara Fela-Durotoye; these are two women who have been able to match corporate success with domestic success. A scandal on our beautiful bride is a news we would not want to hear as all sorts of juicy offers will come her way. It takes a values driven person to resist some of the offers which may come from some quarters that I shall not mention here. Jumoke needs to be this values driven person; she needs to be groomed to be this person.
-Manage and pace this lady so that different platforms who may want to use her story to inspire others do not take advantage of her. If possible, shoot a one-time video which can be played for their audience as against subjecting the girl to a road show that may wear her out.
– Care should be taken to ensure Jumoke’s innocent friends remain her friends because the friends she may make now may not be true friends. Her fellow breadsellers should be upgraded if possible till she develops a new mindset that can match her new status
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I am so happy for our newest model. We must tread with caution withal so that this success story can stand the test of time and give birth to more success.”
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Entertainment

These Househelps | By: Praise Fowowe

We could have avoided the pains we have subjected our children to over the years if we had been more sensitive to these house help issues.
I got a call from a friend a month ago who told me of how her house-helps tested positive to HIV while another one shared a story of how she discovered that the mechanics in front of their building have been sleeping with her house-help in her house.
I was privileged to interview a house-help for a client about a year ago and I asked her a simple question ‘How do you handle a child that has been crying for 30minutes and is inconsolable’ I wasn’t shocked at her response because I know quite well that many of them see your child as a distraction to what they want to do. She responded innocently ‘I will go chemist and buy sleeping tablet and go give am take after which the pikin go sleep’ .
I often wonder why we don’t send our children to a village school or allow illiterates to teach them? If we can take a good decision on the school they should go and the country they should go for summer how come we can’t decide on who should groom our children?
I am not sure you know of the numerous cases of child sexual abuse involving house-helps and children. Do I tell you about a child that was discovered to being sexually aroused each time they play Makosa beat only to discover the house help had been using his penis to excite her vagina and had always told the boy that was the way to dance to Makosa beat? Or do I tell you of the 4 year old that was sodomized by a house-boy for so many years without the parent’s knowledge?
I understand perfectly that we are much more busy than our parents but I also believe we have to be willing to personally raise these children that we bring into the world. I once took my son to play with another friend’s child, on getting there no one instructed me to take my son away because of the lewd songs I met their house-help singing and she was the one that was meant to watch over them.
You don’t want to know how many house-helps have masterminded the death of their masters or how many are currently sharing the same bed with their madams?
Two major questions you may need to ask as a mother are:

– Who spends more time with your husband between you and your house-help?

– Who spends more time with your children between you and your house-help?


Whosoever spends more time with them is the person they bond with and the future of your children may actually be largely influenced by the person they spend most of their time with.
I honestly feel it is safer to have house-keepers than keep house-helps. A house-keeper doesn’t live in your house and may not actually have access to your children. They only come in clean the house and leave.
My advice is if you are not willing to adopt a house-help as your child and raise them up the same way you would have raised your children then it is not wise keeping one because the effect of their stay may go beyond what you bargained for. But even at that it has to be a child in his or her formative years that you can easily train.
But if you still want to insist on getting a house-help then do the following:
– Be sure of the source of your house-help
– Interview them before bringing them in
– Conduct an HIV screening
– Take them through an induction process on how your home runs
– Care for them and let them not feel alienated from the family
– Share the chores between them and your children so that your children can be useful to themselves in the future.
– Pray and be very sensitive to what goes on in your home
Above all ask yourself a simple question ‘Do I actually need a house-help, a house-keeper or what I need is actually to re-organize my life’ .‎
You will succeed.
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