Nigerian men

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10 reasons Nigerian men run from marriage |By: Olufemi Ajasa 

When it comes to romance, Nigerian men are known to be actively engaging. Apart from their culture of carrying the financial burden of relationship with women, they harness every opportunity to appeal to their lovers, be it on social-network sites, in their respective offices, religious organizations, gym centers, parks, clubs among others.
   
Despite the many romantic attributes that could be said of men in Nigeria, women still hold a contrary account about them. Predominant among the contrary views women hold against men here is that no matter how romantic they are, getting them to the altar for marriage could be very challenging.
So, what are those factors that scare Nigerian men away from marriage? We have tried to compile some reasons that make most men feel jittery to converse on ‘Marriage’ as topic, feel free to add yours if not in our list.

1.) No wife materials‎

Common among some men is the reservation that there is scarcity of ‘wife-materials’ in Nigeria. In this case, they are not referring to ladies not being in quantifiable distribution among men, what they are complaining about is that most ladies of this generation lack the necessary attributes that will qualify them for the lifetime commitment called marriage. If this is the case, time of quality search can help heal the wound of such man.

2.)They get sex freely without marriage than in time past
Realizing now that they can get sex more easily than in times past, when ‘virginity’ for women was a pass value to marriage, some men now feel lot of women today have lost it when it comes to keeping themselves whole. But, this might not be the fault of women as promiscuity is not an exclusive act than can be carried out without the consent of either gender.

3.)Nigeria weddings are expensive
In a country where a man is expected to marry a woman in three different kinds of wedding- Religious, Traditional and Court, the cost of marriage no doubt is something men find very intimidating. As of last year, the average Nigeria wedding cost something like N500,000 and the it goes upward from that to more unimaginable cost. For most people, especially in this economy, that’s a lot of money. But all we advise is that men should try and cut their coat according to their material.

4.) In search of a ‘working class’

Today, most Nigerian men are in search of a wife capable of  sharing financial responsibilities with them. Gone are the days when men marry ‘full-house-wives’, the increasing cost of  living has tilted most men in favor of ladies who have a means of livelihood and willing to share  with their man, the burden of building a home.
5.) Fear of freedom

There is a common belief among some men that marriage puts an end to one’s freedom. Single men today are much more proud about not being dependent and being on their own. They fear marriage because they will become answerable for every action they take to their spouse. That is one big responsibility some men are not ready to take up.
6.)Career

One of the predominant question most men will secretly ask themselves before making the decision to marry are, Will my partner make agitation about me being in office for long hours? Will he or she understand my love for my career? These are cogent questions and answering these questions could slow the decisive actions to be taken on marriage plans.
7.) Unrealistic Expectations from In-laws
Some parents have set certain standards for anyone who will marry their child, either way be it that such expectations are from the groom parent’s or bride, the regulations sometimes affect relationships. If the expectations are behavioral, the challenge might be little but there are some discouraging situations where parents decide the profession qualifications, properties, etc that must be acquired by the suitor before they can give out their child to him in marriage.

8.)‎Trust issues

Most times, people fear to get committed into a relationship because of trust issues. Some men have been bruised in their past relationships and therefore they don’t want to put themselves out there.
9.)Bad Testimonies from Married couple
Generally, most men get intimidated by marriage as a result of the testimonies they hear from those in marriage. Before getting into marriage talks, it is a common thing among men to ask their brothers, friends who are already married on how the social institution is and the testimonies they get are most times discouraging, as such they fear their marriage will be a replica of the testimonies they have gathered.
10.)‎Cultural limitations

Nigeria is a country with diverse culture and The diversity sometimes create challenges for men who are in search of women with similar culture. The good thing though is that those who endeavor to explore inter-cultural relationships get the opportunity to gain an in-depth appreciation of other customs.
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Credit: Vanguardngr
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Entertainment

Etcetera explains why Nigerian men cheat

When you heard the news that Toke Makinwa’s husband impregnated his girlfriend, you all took to social media to rain insults on Nigerian men. Why men cheat on women they love became a topic for all female radio presenters in the country.
Aren’t you all tired of asking the same question over and over as if it is some perplexing unfathomable mystery? 
Your question is rhetorical, but since it keeps coming up again and again, let me provide some explanations to help you understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is, with 
no bull, tact, or political correctness. 
It’s just that oftentimes; women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through common sense. Sometimes a man would cheat on his wife or girlfriend because he doesn’t love her anymore; he is bored with her, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship.
In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful as well. Women must understand that men are fundamentally different from them and wired differently too. We all know this but feminists try to suppress or deny this universal fact. A man craves variety and seeks novelty, while women prefer familiarity. Men will naturally desire variety when it comes to romantic/sexual partners more than women will. Men easily get bored by the same thing every day or a routine and we are sometimes afraid to voice this. 
Think about this. You ate your favourite eba and egusi soup, and on the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that eba will have diminished at that point. 
I know what you are thinking now, “You can’t compare food with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. 
I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start making sense to you that men are more visually stimulated than women are. And when a man relies on visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which then requires new stimulation from new women. Got the drift? In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from more than one partner or lover. 
Women often argue that “true love” never gets old. But the notion of “true love” is indefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. 
You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his woman, he can STILL desire another woman he fancies. That’s what our women have to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society. A woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and can truly love MORE THAN ONE woman at a time. This might be hard for you to accept, and unfathomable to your values and beliefs about “love.” But it is the truth. 
A man’s heart is molded differently with multiple chambers that enable him to love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it. 
Ladies, to understand this, think about all the different colours you love. You love pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one colour at a time? Of course you can! You like the different colours in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambiance and mood that each colour accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian foods at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t. 
These are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colours or food, but such simple analogies do describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers. Just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her,” desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar.” 
He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgements by the society especially a feminist or female dominated society like Nigeria is fast becoming. 
To some women, it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocally attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do. What women have to understand is that being in a loving relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire for other people. 
Of course, men who have multiple partners often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which men commonly lie. 
 
However, it doesn’t make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love; men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!) 
Loving or desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “bad” in a moral sense. Often, these men who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious. 
He doesn’t love you? My dear, the line between love and lust is blurry and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lust.”
In reality, a man can find the perfect woman, who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desires to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well. 
Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it. 
My ladies, there are no perfect solutions or answers to everything. Just accept that some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation. 
To be continued next week.
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Entertainment, Lifestyle

Kemi Olunloyo would never marry a Nigerian man for the following reasons…

Controversial activist and daughter of a former Oyo state governor, Kemi Omololu-Olunloyo shared this “interesting” piece on her social media pages. These are reasons why she would never marry a Nigerian man. Before you go further, here’s a little about her (culled from her blog whoismskemi.blogspot.com)

“Kemi is 46, lives in Ibadan, Oyo Nigeria with her mother.. Bi-Polar, Unmarried, Arrested and deported from Canada, warrants for her arrest in Georgia USA. Has 3 bastard children, desperate to become a martyr, father was a governor for 3 MONTHS, overthrown because he’s a thief. She suffers from brain damage, obsessed with the internet and celebrities. Documented Delusional, Sociopath, Scizophrenic,Narcissist.”

Back to the main issue.

“Why must I marry a Nigerian man? 90% of my fans are males on social media. Nigerian men don’t work, they steal, lie and most of all they SMELL. These guys don’t know what an ordinary deodorant is. They stink of sweat, urinate on the streets and absolutely not worth my time. If I married one it was for the money and I will prolly have him killed later by a hired assassin. Most Nigerian women do”

“Most Nigerian women don’t speak out. They are beaten, raped and killed by their own husbands yet they tell me my “mates” are in their husbands house. Yeah right suffering as an award winning wife and getting divorced. 90% of my classmates are divorced and claim they were beaten! 3 DIED! Nigerian women living LIES!! Why is some lady called Funmi Iyanda talking on abusive marriages in the Tribune saying your men should be excommunicated?

I thought my mates were married and happy?You f**king DUMB bitches are being beaten to a pulp and u stay there to get your title of Mrs? F**k Nigerian men and the women who sit in their domain. U need to get a gun and BLOW your husband’s brain OUT if he touches you!”

Odikwa serious matter! *lips sealed*

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