Etcetera

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The level of stupidity in supporters of some politicians is beyond comprehension – Etcetera

Stupid is a word that has a broad range of applications, but it generally means a person lacks rudimentary intelligence or the ability to reason. It can also imply a congenital lack of capacity for reasoning, or a permanent state of daze or slow-mindedness. 
However one defines or applies the word stupid, you can hardly think of the word without directly relating it to the utterances of some Buhari’s supporters; especially the supposedly literate ones.

Over the past week, it became apparent that the level of stupidity inherent in those inclined to support certain politicians at all cost is beyond comprehension. In fact, it is frightening that so many Nigerians of voting age lack the fundamental reasoning ability of a second-grader and are even less-informed about basic facts than a kindergarten.
I have heard some of the most bizarre ideas peddled by some Buhari’s supporters and I am really concerned about the future of this country. I have heard troubling statements like: “It really doesn’t matter if Buhari is qualified or not, he must be the next president and we’ll vote for him. Even if he presents a NEPA bill as certificate, we don’t care, we will vote for him. Are these people for real?

To base your position on whatever absurdity your favourite candidate espouses; regardless of reality is the reason why we are in this hell of a nation. These are exactly the type of supporters Nigerian politicians bank on to win elections. These goons should know that in a democratic system, we live by the constitution and the Nigerian constitution in section 131 (d) gives a specific order for all presidential candidates to show proof of education up to a minimum standard not below school certificate or its equivalent.
If Buhari doesn’t have the required qualification, he should be disqualified immediately or if it is proven that his certificate or result was doctored or forged, he should be arrested and charged to court for deception.
Attahiru Jega and his INEC got us into this embarrassing position. How can someone refer INEC to the Secretary of the Military Board for his credentials when it is stated clearly that every contestant should attach copies of their qualification to their forms? INEC is a joke. If elections are conducted like job interviews, can the applicant direct his would-be employers to his previous work place for his credentials? Won’t the applicant be chased off the premises with a stick or security dogs?

How do we bring about the clamoured “change” in the nation when we can’t treat the nation’s business as ours? Nobody is saying you shouldn’t support Buhari or any candidate of your choice but it shouldn’t be based on sentiments of any kind.
The other day, a radio presenter was screaming like a banshee on radio of how Buhari is a man of great ideas, you shouldn’t be the one telling us what Buhari’s ideas are. As a radio presenter, it is against NBC regulations for any presenter to influence listeners’ votes. Buhari should sell himself convincingly enough to earn their votes. Aren’t we tired of having leaders who can’t sell their ideas themselves? That’s why they haven’t approached the subject of how they are going to revive the economy in any of their campaign speeches?

Let’s not be stupefied into supporting any candidate. We are screaming for a corrupt free nation, yet we are refusing to see that electing someone without the required qualification is as good as endorsing corruption. No one would want to admit that half of this country’s population is inherently stupid, much less ignorant, but at the rate politicians garner votes based on sheer fantasy and lies, there is no other conclusion that makes any sense whatsoever.

One thing is certain; if Nigerian voters were not so stupid, they would not knowingly go against what is right, whether for their personal, ethnic or religious interest. Our politicians know that without stupid people, most of them would be extinct as viable political forces. But they are far from going extinct and it is all down to the level of stupidity permeating this sad ignorant nation
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Entertainment

Opinion: Nobody Should Vote In The Coming Elections | By: Etcetera

Some people have accused me of not liking politicians, so let me set the record straight. I don’t! They have done more harm to our nation than the military (their first cousins). At no period in our nationhood has the opportunity for reversing the dehumanising nature of a politically corrupt society like ours been greater. 
Every Nigerian who seeks freedom should rethink all temptations to rush to the polling station on February 14 in an attempt to further entrench corruption with a transfusion of his or her energies.
Let us instead participate in a peaceful revolution to rescue this country from disintegration and death. It is better for any society that has been shredded by corruption to undergo a few headaches, fevers, and stomach upsets in the interim. It is better to rid Nigeria of her sickness once and for all than continue our habit of suppressing the symptoms which is exactly what we’ll be doing voting for the same crop of corrupt politicians in the forthcoming elections.

Over the week, I got tons of emails and phone calls in response to last weekend’s article asking if I’ll be voting in the coming elections. No. I won’t be voting. The truth is, I have more constructive things to do than vote on February 14. For example, I am moving into a new apartment and the floors need a good scrub.
And there’s this couch I have to take the legs off so I can easily pass it through the door into the living room. To me, that’s time much better spent. Yes guys, I can come up with so many reasons why I won’t vote, but at the core of everything is, when my vote has a direct impact on how much money is stolen from this country, I want nothing to do with it.

The ruling party in Nigeria and the opposition have nothing but alphabetical differences. They have the same ideology and mentality. The same people have been jumping from one ship to another. So what “Change” are they preaching about? Show me a Nigerian politician who hasn’t sworn allegiance to “The Broom” of APC and “The Umbrella” of PDP, at different times in their political careers and I will show you a woman that sells paraga that doesn’t bleach.
Any Nigerian hoping for a redistribution of wealth after February 14 is wasting his or her time. If I had kids, they won’t see me identifying with this group of sociopaths, and to vote in the next election would be setting a bad example for them. Our votes only give these politicians the needed encouragement to steal more. So on February 14, I’ll be voting for the only one I can trust: nobody.
I am of the view that politics has destroyed this country. Let’s not also forget that the same politics has killed thousands of Nigerians in the north alone. So am I supposed to direct my energies into such a destructive system? If I say ‘yes,’ which I would do if I voted, then do my principles have any real meaning to them, or are they simply going to be just amusing ideas to be talked about, debated, or dispersed?
I have been very vocal about Nigerian pastors encouraging corruption in the country by associating with politicians and I have received all kinds of insults from their followers. But just this week, Pastor Adeboye called Nigerian politicians liars and never to be trusted again. Only God knows what transpired behind the scene to warrant such sudden outburst from the same man of God who has been blessing corrupt politicians for many years. The truth is, my participating in this circus called election doesn’t make it any better for me or even you. It only makes me another clown in their charade.
To simply drop scraps of paper in a box or pull a lever doesn’t mean I have helped in stirring the country back on track. It simply means I have acted like a consumer, picking between prepackaged political items. I haven’t seen a sincere Nigerian politician yet. All we do in every election is picking from the same rotten bunch. If we are not actively participating in deciding what should be, then why can’t we unite and throw rocks through their spider web by sitting at home and refusing to vote? Let us disrupt the existing pattern of corrupt politicking entrenched in the system.

Don’t get me wrong. Like everyone else, I want the best for this country. After all, we are all in the same boat and if one end goes down, we all go down. So not voting in February doesn’t mean I won’t vote in the future. When the government makes the system more transparent and my vote counts, I am likely to vote.

Those of you who are crazy enough to vote the same set of people into power because you have been paid to do so or you have been stupid enough to listen to a rambling billionaire who tells you it is your civic duty to vote for him or his candidates, you deserve to be screwed by the system. Since democracy in Nigeria has been turned into a game like any other, it will be foolish to go out and play, when I know I can’t win.
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Entertainment

Opinion: Fashola Is Wrong | By: Etcetera

Governor Fashola is one of the most outstanding Governors in Nigeria. Unlike some State Governors, he should be duly commended for his style of governance, his vision for Lagos State, and achievements. But the recent approval of 10 days paternity leave and six months maternity leave for civil servants of the state has been greeted with mixed sentiments within and outside the state. The paternity leave for instance sounds ridiculous to me each time I think about it.
What sounds even more laughable is the state Head of Service telling us that the new leave regime is meant to reduce the stress of the extensive work life of civil servants in the state. Please, since when did we start attributing words like “extensive work” to civil servants in Nigeria? My father was a civil servant, I visited his workplace most times and can categorically say that most Nigerian civil servants don’t do any extensive work.
I was actually smiling thinking I had stumbled on a comedy show on TV, hearing her branding civil servants as workaholics and how the newly approved 10 days paternity leave is needed to boost productivity. Has moving from one restaurant to another leaving empty plates of iyan and efo riro in their wake become stressful all of a sudden? I see these guys almost everyday in their different ministries in Alausa but what I haven’t seen is the same picture of the hardworking soldier ants the government is trying to paint to us. It will be more believable if the state comes clean with us that the paternity leave is basically for faaji. Even a newborn baby would giggle at the thought of a father demanding 10 days of paternity leave to bond with him/her.
Seriously, how do you bond with a baby that hasn’t even opened his or her eyes? This is a child that can’t even find the mother’s nipples. What does a man need 10 days paternity leave for? Did he have his placenta or umbilical cord removed? Did they perform caesarean on his pot belly? Did he share in the task of carrying the baby in the womb for nine months? Most male civil servants in the country have grown too fat developing breast as a result of idleness at work. Is this new paternity leave regime meant for them to stay at home and share in the responsibility of breastfeeding their newborn babies with their wives? Or are we granting them the additional 10 days paternity leave to also develop hips and complete the full circle of womanhood? This may sound funny but won’t this paternity law increase the rate of childbirth in the state, especially in a rainy season?
Our civil servants are not given to doing much work in the first place. Most times they are never even at work. I went to one of the ministries to see the permanent secretary about a project I was working on that needed state’s approval, and on entering his office, I was stunned by the sight of 15 large booli (roasted plantains) and two full bottles of peanuts on his table. He almost threw me out of his office when I jokingly asked if I could join in his lunch. In Nigeria, we already have so many public holidays, pilgrimages and the three weeks compulsory leave for workers, and weekends. Is that how we are going to build Lagos into a mega city? I don’t see the rationale in this new maternity and paternity policy.
Some say it is a policy that is already being implemented in more advanced societies and we should follow suit without taking into consideration the peculiarity of this terrain. Yes in more advanced countries, extended maternity leaves and paternity leaves are no big deal. The UK for instance grants as much as one year to a woman, to raise her child, with full salary, if she thinks it is necessary. And a man can take either 10 days or up to six months to stay with his wife and child. But we also know why this is very necessary for them. Unlike Nigeria, no UK grandparent will come to do omugwo or stay with a couple and help them take care of their children like a slave for anything more than a week or two.
Because most of these parents and grandparents are still busy chasing blind dates or searching for love on various online dating sites. Unlike Nigeria, in the UK there are no house-girls or house-boys who could be used like workhorses around the house for next to nothing. Also unlike Nigeria, UK men don’t take it as a duty to act on God’s commandment on procreation with every giving opportunity like some naija men.
Those applauding the six months maternity leave for women as a well thought out decision, should also consider that it may not be in the interest of everyone. Workers of private institutions may demand implementation of the same policy across board. And most private institutions can’t afford such luxury. Some civil servants may even see it as a threat to their livelihood and survival. The girls with the Lagos State Inland Revenue (LIRS) for instance won’t fancy sitting back at home for six months knowing how much of egunje (kickbacks) they will be missing.
The female LASTMA officials will be wondering how they will survive for that long on their meagre salaries. Another question is, what happens to those ministries with fewer members of staff? What if a couple of them got pregnant at the same time? Will they be granted six months maternity leave all at once? What about their skills when they return from such a long leave? Won’t it affect their ability to carry on and adapt to new policies? Will they be provided with extra courses to catch up with their colleagues? I think three months is okay for a nursing mother.
We also have to consider that salaries will be paid. Is the government going to slash salaries to cover up the inadequacies? Are we also bearing in mind that this policy may affect the already plunging productivity level of workers? Are we not creating more room for laxity? It is only in Naija that a female civil servant goes to work wearing a wig and returns home with braids. Isn’t that African magic? Please never walk into a female civil servant’s office unannounced, because you will surely bump into her trying on a new attire sold to her by a colleague in the office.
When you walk into some ministries, you will be left confused thinking you have mistakenly walked into Aswani market, seeing people loitering about selling all sorts of products. There are always ready buyers at the ministries. I guess the Lagos State government must have had a big laugh thinking it has found a solution to this embarrassment by locating the Ikeja City Mall next door, but did it work?
We always hear of ministries and other government structures getting burnt in Nigeria and Mickey Mouse always getting the blames when it is no secret that some of these female civil servants have makeshift kitchens in their offices. You always see them at their desks drawing up lists of food ingredients for the interns to buy.
As I end this article, I want you all to join me in prayers that nobody recommends this paternity and maternity policy to my state government. Because as it stands right now, I can’t tell which is more confused between my state government and today’s weather.
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Entertainment

Everyone is Crazy in Lagos | By: Etcetera

Few weeks ago, I got a call from a friend asking me out for a drink, but I was already at the Lagos airport. “I’m not going to be around for the next few days,” I told him. “I’m going to Abuja.” His immediate reaction was – “Why? What’s wrong? Do you want to bore yourself to death?”  That’s the typical response I get whenever I tell someone I am travelling to Abuja. Abuja is a beautiful city with a terrible reputation for boredom. I have heard people in other cities speak of Lagos as a noisy, dirty and dangerous city filled with crazy people. In truth, everyone in Lagos is crazy. What else do you expect in a state crammed with 22 million people? 

Lagos has a peculiar vibe that can’t be found anywhere in the world, so much that “Lagos Hustle” is a commonly used phrase among Nigerians. I would rather go crazy living in Lagos than be bored to death in Abuja, Ibadan or Enugu. Abuja leaves you chewing your finger nails out of boredom. If you doubt me, whenever you have a visitor from Abuja, check his/her finger nails. They are always short and well chewed. Even the Hausa local nail trimmers have all migrated elsewhere due to the nail scarcity. 
It is said that people in Lagos argue for at least two hours daily. It is true; we love to generate arguments out of everything. We argue everywhere, in buses and even during church services. Now Telemundo has become a cause for more argument among the girls here.  So why are they surprised that we are crazy in this city? How many people can stay sane for long with the screams of Telemundo girls and the wailing sirens of police and government officials constantly beating their eardrums?

Even the supposedly rugged Lagos rats can’t bear it too, that’s why they are always scampering from one gutter to another. If only we can understand what those rats would be saying to themselves about the cars with wailing sirens and flashing blue lights which have now become the city’s official ride for big boys. Don’t they know that it is by far the easiest way to advertise their arrivals to all the criminals in the city?  

Let’s add all the roaring vehicle engines, blaring horns, the arguments of the association of free newspaper readers at every bus stop, the street preachers with megaphones every morning, the open trucks filled with dancing skimpy dressed models selling almost expired products, or the rickety tortoise cars with dead PA system selling gbogbonise and the CD/DVD sellers blasting latest naija vibes.  
Anybody expecting to find a sane person in Lagos must be crazy indeed. It is like looking for a virgin in Nollywood. It is a city with an official soundtrack emanating from millions of generators rumbling constantly all through the day and night. But as crazy as it is in Lagos, I love it. I love the fact that it is like the city is divided in two halves, for non smokers and smokers.

Or how can anyone explain to me why Apapa is always covered in thick smoke? Call it trailer exhaust fumes or smoke from burning tyres, what I know is that whenever I am passing through Apapa, it is as if I have suddenly walked into the smokers section of a night club. I love the fact that this city doesn’t discriminate. And that all the money of the rich offers no protection from the most trying aspect of life here. Aggression is imperative and timidity on the road is seized upon by everyone even pedestrians. 

When driving, you are caught up, over-taken and honked at all at once. All drivers seem to be afflicted with honk sickness. You get in a taxi late at night when there isn’t a single other car on the road, and the driver is still blasting his horn at five seconds intervals for the entire journey. It is even worse when the traffic is gridlocked. Ask the millions who experience this bottleneck from the mainland to the commercial districts on the Island daily. 
A guy dropped his friend at Lagos airport to catch a flight to South Africa. When he received his text message saying he had landed safely at Joburg airport, he was still in traffic on the way back to Victoria Island. We don’t have much of a tourist industry in Lagos at the moment but thank God for Makoko, an extraordinary floating slum, where everyone travels round in boats. It is our own version of Venice. Thanks to the governor, the dividends of democracy can now be felt in some places in the city. Let’s take the Ojota dump site for example, it has become symbolic of everything that past governments have tried to achieve.
What used to look at first sight a rough, lawless, dangerous place has become a well-organised place where good money is earned by local street boys who now prefer a life of grime to a life of crime. Some of them are university graduates.
 
Lagos is a shining example of democracy. Even the area boys and those scavengers on the streets for things to re-sell have their own democratically elected chairmen, who sort out any arguments or disagreements. 
Don’t you love the look of today’s Oshodi, especially when you are standing on the bridge feeding your eyes with the wonderful mosaic of human beings like a colourful artwork? The traders are constantly feeding energy into the atmosphere with their hilarious but innovative marketing methods, giving visitors from various parts of the world a first hand view of how lucrative and conducive this city is for their businesses. But it is imperative to have lots of patience and a good sense of humour to survive here. 
Planning is crucial if you want to get things done. You must make contingencies because most of the time things don’t go according to plan, whether you are caught in argument or in traffic. For tourists, it is important to note that there are no up-to-date visitors’ guide on sale anywhere. And the few guidebooks available do not pretend to over-sell the city’s destinations. But one thing you won’t need guidebook to notice are the mechanic workshops littered all over the city. The good thing about this is that whenever you go hungry, just walk into the nearest one and you are sure to find a mama-put (restaurant). 
Lagos is noisy, polluted, corrupt, lawless and ungovernable, but beneath these stereotypes are some of the most hardworking, passionate and big thinkers on earth. Thousands of people make their living by selling all kinds of stuff in traffic jams: household provisions, mobile phones, electrical appliances, wrist watches, books, clothes, popcorn, machetes, soup ingredients, wheel chairs, rat poison, CDs, DVDs, pets, you can even buy a brand new car in traffic. It is quite innovative and convenient because most Lagos residents prefer to do their shopping on the go. 

I love Lagos because this is the only city in the world where you can leave home for work stark naked and be sure to buy everything you want to wear in traffic. They’ve got ironing boards too in case you want your clothes starched and properly ironed. Eko o ni baje oo.

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Entertainment

Bread & Butter Celebrities & Failed Marriages | By: Etcetera

If you listen to relationship programmes on radio, you would notice that many Nigerians are indeed struggling with their relationships and marriages and they are all seeking help. And because they do not have a glaring media attention serialising their issues, making judgements, giving strong commentary, poking them emotionally, there are chances of their relationships and marriages problems being solved.
Why is it that with the fame, fortune and good looks, our celebrities’ marriages still don’t work? It has been a strange phenomenon that the union of people in the limelight hardly lasts, indeed. So the question is, why do most celebrity marriages crash frequently? Continue below
Fame is dangerous to relationships for many reasons. Most troubling is that it demands that a couple spend time away from each other. One indicator of happiness in a relationship is the amount of time spent with one’s partner.
Spending time together is necessary to sustain a relationship, yet celebrities tend to ignore this and only focus on how to become more famous. You need to keep up with each other’s lives, look into each other’s eyes, and be in the same physical space to feel the mood and emotions from each other.
Without that, you might love each other, but staying “in love” demands much more than occasional get-together.
The man who loves you may start losing feelings because of the demands of your job. Your spouse, for instance, wants you to be home, but you cannot be at home because you are either on location or at one event or another socialising as a celebrity.
Celebs are expected to be extroverts – attending parties, or going to bars or clubs. Your spouse may not like all that. These things take their toll and it gets to a point when one of the parties says that he or she has had enough, and then packs his or her bag and leaves.
Most celebs don’t really take time to understand each other or truly understand what marriage is about before venturing into it. Some even see it as just an added feather to their cap. They love to gather people together, go to church and stand before the altar to exchange vows in front of the congregation. There is actually more to marriage than the physical appearance.
The pressure to live up to certain standards and give a good impression also contributes to marital splits among celebs. Because of their status, they put too much unnecessary pressure on themselves and try too hard to live up to the standard of others. Most tend to live a life that is not theirs. The pressure of wanting to create or give people the impression of having a sense of perfection will certainly make your marriage crumble. Put a stop to all the pretence and be real to yourself.
Infidelity is the most common cause of most celebrity marriage break-ups in Nigeria. Some spouses have left their marriages when they could no longer bear the indiscretions of their unfaithful partners.
Infidelity is not restricted to celebrities only. It is a major source of marital discord today. But what makes that of celebrities different is the temptation they face regularly. Because of living their lives constantly in the spotlight and fame, they are presented with more ‘opportunities’ to cheat than others.
When musicians, for instance, go for shows, girls throw themselves at them. Even a Reverend Father can get tempted with all the ‘offerings.’ If one partner is constantly unfaithful, it can cause discord in the marriage.
Jealousy is also a problem in celebrity union. If one, for instance, has more fame, more success than the other, it can cause problems if the other party does not have the strength of character to cope with his or her partner being constantly in the limelight.
It takes a very strong man or woman to endure his wife, for instance, being more famous, getting more attention than them. You attend a party, and your husband or wife observes you being embraced and kissed here and there, jealousy starts getting into the marriage. It doesn’t even matter if both of you are celebrities.
Put your ego aside. As celebs, you’re going to be constantly fighting for the limelight. But marriage is all about concessions, even if it takes one of you to have to ride in the backseat for awhile for things to work out.
Money is the root of most problems in marriages. When your wedding planning starts taking the shape of a corporate board meeting, you’re already in trouble. Play deaf to the rumours. Celebrities are always insecure about one thing or another, and it is the reason a lot of media rumours are going to tear your already shaky relationship to shreds. Stop selling your privacy in pictures, on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.
Choose whether you want to remain single or get married. Marriage is hard when you are used to being in control all the time. But suddenly you can’t just wake up one morning and jet off to Abuja or London for a weekend with your friends or spend N100,000 on a pair of shoes without certain considerations.
When you’re used to being the centre of your world, it is not easy to take that step back and let someone else have a major stake in your life.
Like every electronic device, marriage comes with a manual which must be followed to the letter if you want it to be successful. Celebrity marriages will continue to crash as long as they are building them on themselves and not on God, who is the initiator of marriage
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Entertainment

Second-hand husband: Tiwa Savage and hubby take a swipe at Etcetera

Nigerian singer, Etcetera’s article on female celebrities preferring second-hand husbands written in Punch newspaper two days ago has elicited reactions from newly-weds; Tiwa Savage and her husband/manager Tunji ‘Tee Billz’ Balogun. Incase you missed it, read it here Both of them took to their instagram accounts to lash out at the PUNCH columnist implying that he has no courage to mention their names or analyse their marriage.
TeeBillz, “I don’t owe You Shit so I won’t answer to your speculations ECETERA but I will plead to @lindaikeji @bellanaijaonline TMZ, Ladun To please Find Pictures of My First Marriage. Maybe ECETERA Can Help Locate It. #GetTheBallsToCallMyName.’
“You are not in a position to discuss how male artists are gigolos, most of them came after you and by His grace have achieved more.” Tiwa wrote
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Female Celebrities Prefer Second-Hand Husbands | By: Etcetera

Some days ago I was at a friend’s place and was asked by his sisters if I was travelling abroad for the wedding of a colleague that is still being talked about on blogs and on all social networking sites in nigeria and I said no I wasn’t. But what struck me as odd was when one of them asked me “is she getting married to a BRAND NEW husband or a 2ND HAND husband”?
I stared at her in shock and confusion because up until that moment, I had never heard of a phrase as “brand new or 2nd hand husband. It became a heated debate amongst people in the house that day. ‘WOW’, I never thought a phrase like 2nd hand can be attributed to a human being. I know it is only applicable to objects. At first i was angry. How could they have said such.
But as crazy and odd as it may have sounded, they drew my attention to their observations that it is a trend currently popular amongst female celebrities in Nigeria. The guys in the house even tweaked it into a joke. Adding that it is a normal thing in Nigeria that when you can’t afford a brand new car you go for a 2nd hand one. I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. But on my way home, I thought about it for a minute and asked myself if truly a 2nd hand or brand new theory can be a determinant in finding a husband? It got me staring at every car passing by, trying to understand the rationale behind the argument of a 2nd hand husband and a brand new one. How do you determine if a husband is a 2nd hand? I asked myself. I was later told that a man becomes a 2nd hand if he was previously married or is still married to another woman before taking a new wife.
And that a 2nd hand husband just like a 2nd hand car comes in two types. Nigerian used and Tokunbo. Meaning the husband who was previously married and living here in Nigeria is the “Nigerian used”, while the one shipped in from abroad is the Tokunbo version. Shocking isn’t it? Ok, let us analyse this for a minute. It is a known fact that in Nigeria, when you want to buy a 2nd hand car you are strongly advised to take a mechanic with you. So can you also do the same with a 2nd hand husband? Should it also be recommended that when going for a 2nd hand husband you should make sure to take a medical doctor to administer all the necessary check ups to be sure you are not getting damaged goods?
 
Because in the true sense of it, a 2nd hand is a 2nd hand whether car or husband. And If the carburetor of a 2nd hand car can easily pack up on 3rd mainland bridge, it means a 2nd hand husband can also pack up on the way to the altar. As these thoughts were spinning in my head, I began asking myself the same questions they asked me. Why do Nigerian female celebrities prefer 2nd hand husbands? Or Why would anyone prefer a 2nd hand husband? But come to think of it, Is it that our female celebrities can no longer afford the luxury of waiting for the brand new ones to come along?
Or have the brand new ones refused to be fooled by the razzmatazz or flashy make ups, thick foundations, artificial nails, Brazilian hair and Peruvian eye lashes? Can it be attributed to a thing of choice? They said a 2nd hand husband is often an Alhaji or an Otunba with pot belly and deep pocket. Is it because of the  money or societal status of the men? As long as he is fully loaded she really does not care. Some went further to say that a 2nd hand husband is already tested and trusted with a confirmed rate of performance and durability?
 
So figure a female celebrity asking her colleague, “What is the mileage of your 2nd hand husband? And she replies “Ahhh I nor know say hin former wives don finish am oo.. Na shaft I marry ooo, My sista nor be small thing ooo, even my doctor sef say him liver go soon park up. And na for hospital I dey sleep for the past 3 weeks. Just like 2nd hand car owner dey sleep for mechanic workshop everyday.
As my Curiosity got the better of me, I asked them for names of female celebrities with 2nd hand husbands. I was shocked beyond recognition that the list they gave me was as long as the distance from mile 2 to Badagry. According to the list, almost all married female celebrities in Nigeria has a 2nd hand husband and even some of the female celebrities themselves are 2nd hand. And some of the male celebrities also have 2nd hand wives or they themselves are 2nd hand. Well, if you don’t believe me, make a list of your own and be amazed as I am right now. My conclusion is that the issue of 2nd hand husband is not peculiar to entertainers. It is a general societal disease and it is as a result of too many failed marriages we have in the society at large. While nobody should be blamed for falling in love or getting married to whoever he or she chooses, it is also important that we position our lives to inspire the children and future entertainers who see us as role models in the society.
 
You may argue that it is not the society’s business what you do with your affairs. Which is very true but also remember that being a celebrity makes your life a public affair. So go ahead girls, take home the 2nd hand husbands, it is your choice and it does not matter even if he looks like an “accidented” car with scary mileage. If you love him that much and he has some money to spend, you can take him to the highly skilled American body mechanic called Dr. 90210 to panel-beat and mask all his dents. And if you are fortunate to find one whose mileage is manageable, you can take him to Ladipo market, buy the missing body parts and get a local panel-beater to fix him. And if you are a handy-woman, You can even do the servicing yourself by getting a complete first aid kit with bandages, Ampiclox and mentholatum and massage his joints every night before sleeping.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Culled from Punch Newspapers
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#AbujaBombBlast: "May the souls of those fans who have died haunt every entertainer." Etcetera

 

Singer Pascal Ejikeme, fondly called Etcetera, strongly believes Nigerian entertainers are partly to blame for the recent bomb explosion in Nyanya motor pack, Abuja, which killed over 70 people. Read his piece below.

For God’s sake, can Somebody please call Dbanj, Don Jazzy, Onyeka Onwenu, Duncan Mighty, Stephanie Okereke, Genevieve Nnaji, Funke Akindele, Omotola, Rita Dominic, Aki and Pawpaw, Sammy Okposo, Sunny Neji, Maleke, Okey Bakassi, Jay Jay Okocha, Kanu Nwankwo, Daddy Showkey, Richard Mofe Damijo, Kwam 1 and other entertainers that have at one time or the other been seen dining with politicians?

Can you please tell them that there has been a bomb blast in Nyanya? Can you include pictures of the mutilated bodies? Please don’t forget to tell them that most of the dead might have been lovers of their music and movies and cheered them in every concert and football matches they played both at club level and the national team. Tell them that their CDs and Movies were bought by those dead fans for inspiration and because they wanted to feel alive and ease off the daily tensions faced everyday in this country.

That the Jingles done by Dbanj, Don Jazzy, Sammy Okposo, Onyeka Onwenu and other entertainers might have convinced some of those who have died in different Boko Haram raids or bad roads or lack of proper healthcare facilities to vote for politicians who have failed them in all ramifications? The same politicians that failed to protect the lives of those shredded bodies in Nyanya?

That some of the dead fans in Nyanya might have even spent their little earnings to attend their concerts in Abuja and environs? Have you as an entertainer ever sat down to reflect on the fact that each time we give our voices to enhance the career of these politicians knowing they mean no good for this country that we are bringing more hardship and even death to our fans?

Why devote precious hours in the studio composing songs asking your fans to vote for politicians whose past stinks more than the dustbin at Ojota? How do you feel listening to those songs today knowing that Mr Politician failed you and your die-hard fans? Can you give back those millions to bring back the lives of those dead fans in Nyanya, Jos, Maiduguri, Agatu in Benue? I guess not, because frolicking with the devil makes u perpetually his.

2015 is around the corner. Many of us entertainers will be called upon to do jingles, attend rallies wearing branded T-shirts in support of these same politicians. Millions of naira will be paid to your bank accounts. Thousands of bottles of MOET will be popped for you to feel good at different rally points while you convince your fans to join the bandwagon as part of the special few who voted for change. Right now, some of us entertainers must be licking our lips in anticipation of the naira windfall come 2015. Let your conscience be your pilot. That is if you have one. May the souls of those fans who have died because of insecurity and corruption haunt every entertainer who refuses to repent from selling his or her talent for money at the expense of a better Nigeria.

 
 
And may the souls of all our faithfully departed fans REST IN PEACE. Amen!
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