Etcetera

Entertainment

Nigerian artistes now invent lies. Etcetera writes

Ladies and gentlemen, you are welcome to the new game in
town. For better or for worse, our music “industry” is embracing a new form of art. The focus has shifted almost entirely from making music to something else.
Now the transition is finally complete and the sync word here is LIE.
In Nigeria today, every artiste needs a “lying” platform – or three, to reach their target audience. Years back, radio used to be the dominant “platform” for breaking new artists, you may say it is still important, but the radio is certainly no longer the only game in town.
It is becoming simply too limited,
too expensive and too difficult to control to be the sole platform. A better and surer way to expose the artist to the public has been discovered. Now the ‎artiste with the biggest LIE has the bigger and better head start.
The Nigerian music “industry” has now brought a vast array of gifted liars. We have seen managers lying blatantly about the activities of
their artistes just to be noticed. So far, it is working for them here in
Nigeria. Our gullibility has made it too easy to become an artiste here in Nigeria.
What was your reactions when Burna Boy tweeted about his new songwriting deal with Universal Music Group? Did you notice how the blogs went ‎gaga congratulating him? If truly Burna Boy got a deal, why didn’t Universal Music Group issue a statement to that effect? Well, strange stuff has happened.
Isn’t the Nigerian music “industry” at risk with this lying game taken to this new level? Is it no longer worth noting that the actual quality of the artist’s songs should be a predominating factor in a decision to recruit him as a songwriter? Why are we acting as if we don’t know that Burnaboy’s songs won’t find many readily available patronisers outside the shores of Nigeria?
If they do, they can only be appreciated by only a few Nigerians. Even in cases where there is a proven audience for a particular artiste’s work, it is not enough to make it a big deal to corner a deal.
As a musician reading this article, would you approach Burna Boy to write you a song? Judging by what
you’ve heard from him so far! If you can’t, why would a foreign company with a long list of songwriters employ him as a songwriter?
One reason why there are no record labels in Nigeria is that
a lot of our music stakeholders are sentimental in their approach to the business. The guys at Universal are not jokers. They are strictly in it for the money. They don’t attach sentiments to their dealings.
They know that songwriting is not actually a business. There’s no financial element attached
to songwriting in itself. It is the job of the music publisher to turn the song into something that can generate income. Can Burna’s song guarantee the kind of
financial returns we are talking about here?
How many CDs has he sold in Nigeria as an artist? I am not talking of the free downloads of singles on blogs, but the copies of actual albums he has sold. How many people have his album in their homes? The pink and brown contract sneaked up on us on Instagram could have been printed at Oluwole. 
Until Universal Music Group authenticates these claims, everything Burna has said could not be true. It is a shame that
Nigerian journalists will never see it necessary to investigate any issue
before plastering it all over their platforms. I was on set on Nigezie,
shooting the Etcetera Live TV show when the producer asked if I heard about Burna Boy’s new deal with Universal Records.
Right there and then, I went online and checked the authenticity of the story. The first thing I checked was
if Universal Music Group issued any statement to that effect. I wasn’t surprised that the story could only be found on Nigerian websites.
The websites of Universal in America, South Africa and other countries had nothing suggesting they have anything with Burna Boy. Their facebook pages said nothing too. There is an official statement on every deal they have made. 
It is the norm with every recording company in the world. You employ a songwriter who is like a talent magnet; a record maker. Someone who brings forth the talent in the singer. Someone whose role is to write songs that define the artistes and give them a reason for existence and you keep that under the carpet? It doesn’t make any sense.
The truth is, there’s no song of Burna that suggests he is
anywhere close to being the kind of songwriter we are talking about here. This guy sounds like he doesn’t want anyone to pick out his lines.
Finally, it is very important for all those with music interest to note that in this new LIE eco-system of ours, there are three things a musician needs, and his success or failure can be predicted almost
entirely on the basis of how many of these three things are in place.
If you can provide a clean sweep of three out of three, like Burna Boy, you’ll likely be signing a record deal with Universal Music Group even without being able to hold your notes vocally. If you’ve got two out of three, you will probably get an offer, like some other artistes have claimed at different times.
Though it might not be exactly the deal you were hoping for. Bring only one out of three and the best you can hope for is a polite invitation to come back sometime in the distant future. So here are the three things every Nigerian will pay for – the essential components to a successful “Music Career” – 1.LIE, 2.LIE and 3.LIE!
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Entertainment

8 reasons why Nigerian churches are leading Christians to hell | By: Etcetera

Singer turned writer, Etcetera has in his latest article enumerated 8 reasons why Nigerian churches are leading Christians to hell.

1. There is almost no evidence whatsoever that the early church had their “services” on a Sunday. They gathered together ‘from house to house’ virtually every day! People did not dress up and “go to church.” There were no denominations or separate groups with different ‘labels.’ They lived their lives together – And the apostles in Jerusalem preached everyday at a huge open-air gathering, not “hidden away” inside four walls.

Church buildings do not exist in the Bible. They were invented around 200-300 AD, when the church was in serious decline. Church buildings are anti-New Testament, and they bring with them a host of problems and traditions. It was when the church fell into the hands of Rome that this concept of the “cathedral” took over. And today, we are still spending millions building these beautiful monuments while the worshippers are starving.

2. The words “prosper” or ‘prosperity’ were NEVER used by Jesus at all – and only mentioned a few times in the entire New Testament. Yet our greedy pastors have built kingdoms upon them. The words – “sell what you have and give to the poor” and “deceitfulness of riches” and “you cannot serve God and mammon” and “woe to you that are rich” were DEFINITELY used by Jesus and the apostles, but you don’t hear them preached by your pastors, do you?

3. Tithing is not a New Testament practice at all. And it is being shamefully abused by today’s preachers. In the Old Testament, tithing was only applicable to Jews and to the land of Israel and that was at a time when a great number of them lived in Babylon, Ammon, Moab, Egypt and Syria. As a result of that, the land they occupied became tithe-able lands.
Tithes were not acceptable from Gentiles’ lands. So my brothers and sisters, you need to ask your pastor why he is collecting tithes here in Nigeria. Also, the only people authorised to receive tithes were the Levites – (Hebrews 7:5). If your pastor is collecting tithe from you, ask him if he’s from the tribe of Levi. Even Jesus who was a Jew couldn’t collect tithes because he wasn’t from the tribe of Levi but from that of Judah. And if your pastor insists that being a worker in the lord’s vineyard qualifies him as a Levite, please remind him that Levites had no land and did not own properties.

4. The Jesus of today’s church is a “Father Christmas,” a Jesus who exists mainly for our own “happiness;” a Father Christmas who wants to rain down continual blessings upon us; a Jesus of grace and mercy without judgement, righteousness or truth. Our gross misrepresentation of who Jesus really is, is one of the most serious offences of today’s church. We worship a “plastic” Jesus – one that we have painted in our own image. What an offence to God.
5. What we have today are churches that are so loose that they excuse any sin or misconduct, including homosexuality and adultery. Aren’t we supposed to accept only the truth of God’s word? But instead, we have opted for a modern church that is socially based, smooth and sophisticated, and presented like a Nollywood movie with men and women of ogboni fraternity dressed in their occultic regalia occupying special seats during services. Something is wrong!
6. What happened to the strong calls for repentance that brought thousands down to the altar to repent and ask Jesus Christ to save their souls? This is the litmus test for Christianity; it is the essence of the Cross; it is the great commission that Jesus commanded us with. If your church is not winning souls, then it is like a barren woman, and it is a shame. Something is wrong!
7. What happened to the outpouring of the Holy Ghost? Do we even know what it means anymore to feel the presence of the Spirit of God descend on a service and fill up the room with holiness? Or we just love that party atmosphere and excitement when the choir plays a boogie-down song? Or we love to scream “ride on pastor” in the excitement we get when some charismatic preacher works the crowd? It’s been so long we’ve felt the presence of the Holy Spirit that we don’t know what it is anymore. Something is definitely wrong!
8. Lots of pastors are aware that there is something very wrong with the church today. They know there is little ‘fear of the Lord.’ They know there is no deep repentance or deep moving of the Holy Spirit.

They know that it is just the same old “game” being played every week. A lot of them are very aware of this, but they will not do anything about it. They will not rock the boat. And they will destroy anyone who comes along trying to do something. They do not want any reforms. There is too much to lose. They have their careers and their “kingdoms” at stake. This is the truth of the matter. Most of you are worshippers of your pastors and not God. Many of you are hell bound. So pray my brothers and sisters. Pray for your souls. Let me stop here and leave room for you to call me names. But do remember that the church is leading you to hell – not me!

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Entertainment

Singer/Writer Etcetera takes Igbo leaders to the cleaners, calls them disgrace.

I was told that every Igboman who heard Ojukwu’s speech after the Biafran war was filled with a renewed sense of pride and hope. A hope that one day the Igbo nation will rise and become a force of reckoning not just in Nigeria but in the entire black world

I have read that speech over and over and each time I read through, I am filled with pride and imagination of how those who heard the words pouring out of the mouth of the warlord himself must have felt. Before going any further, let me recount a little part of what the late sage said while addressing the press:

“In the three years of the war, necessity gave birth to invention. During those three years of heroic bound, we leapt across the great chasm that separates knowledge from know-how. We built rockets, and we designed and built our own delivery systems. We guided our rockets. We guided them far, we guided them accurately.
For three years, blockaded without hope of import, we maintained all our vehicles. The state extracted and refined petrol, individuals refined petrol in their back gardens. We built and maintained our airports, maintained them under heavy bombardment.
Despite the heavy bombardment, we recovered so quickly after each raid that we were able to maintain the record for the busiest airport in the continent of Africa. We spoke to the world through telecommunication system engineered by local ingenuity; the world heard us and spoke back to us!
We built armoured car tanks. We modified aircraft from trainer to fighters, from passenger aircraft to bombers. In the three years of freedom we had broken the technological barrier. In three years we became the most civilised, the most technologically advanced black people on earth.”
Ojukwu, with those few lines, defined the ingenuity and never-say-die spirit God has embedded in the marrows of the Igboman. But my question for Ndigbo is, where has this ingenuity for which the entire world has given them a standing ovation, gone?
Why can’t it be used today to enhance the cause of Ndigbo? Can’t we re-enact the same war time feat to launch ourselves back to reckoning again in Nigeria and in the entire black world?
Since Ojukwu died, Ndigbo have been like sheep without a shepherd. Those who we thought could take up the mantle of leadership are nothing but selfish entities who care for nothing but their personal interest.

As I am writing this article, I just got words that a senator in Imo State has been discovered as a saboteur working against the interest of his people because he has been promised to be made Senate president in the new political dispensation which begins on May 29. What is it with Ndigbo and greed?
How long are we going to kill ourselves? Isn’t it a gargantuan shame that a tribe as populous as Ndigbo can’t provide a single individual that is seen to be credible enough to be elected president of Nigeria?
A casual observation of the performances of the governors of the south eastern states will reveal their level of under-performance since 1999. Case point, take Aba which has failed to enjoy any meaningful development since the 1929 Aba women riot. The place is a total mess.
What have the governors done with what has been accruing to the state in the last 16 years of democratic rule? The fact that these individuals who have mismanaged fortunes of the state consider themselves fit to even contest election is a slap on the faces of Ndigbo. Ndigbo, are we cursed?
The red-cap goons known as Ohaneze do nothing but crawl from one place to another offering themselves for sale and for use. This has been their money-making scheme for too long and it can no longer hold water. Can’t we take a cue from the style Dangote adopted and made a kill?
The Yoruba have already adopted it and it is working. We have to restrategise to become that economic power house we crave. The idea that every Igboman who makes money whether through his ingenuity or by accident becomes misguided and begins to push for political office even though they are clearly not professional politicians should be discarded.

We hear of Dangote, the Dantatas, Otedola, Mike Adenuga, the Okoyas, where are the Igbo equivalent in terms of their organisational set-up? Most of our businesses are largely one-man businesses and whenever the founder dies, the whole thing dies.

Ndigbo must do away with their selfishness and personal greed, otherwise we will continue to languish as a people. We must redirect our thoughts away from the deeply engrossed notion of “to make it in life,” “we must make money at all cost.”
What Ndigbo should learn from the just concluded elections is that without a harmony of opinion, all our efforts will yield nothing. Igbo kwezuenu.

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Entertainment

The Igbos are the wandering Jews of West Africa. Etcetera writes.

The Igbos are the wandering Jews of West Africa… gifted, aggressive, Westernised; at best envied and resented, but mostly despised by the mass of their neighbors in the federation – Henry Kessinger (famous American diplomat)
Back in the days, men made fortune out of war, war was business. But today, the Igbos are making fortune out of business, because business is the new war.
Before we talk about the plight of the Igbos in Nigeria, let us start by defining a word that has been frequently used by the Igbos to define their situation in the country, marginalisation!
According to a good number of dictionaries, to “marginalise” means “to treat someone or something as if they are unimportant.” 
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It also means “to take or keep somebody away from the centre of action.” Another dictionary defined it as “relegating someone or a group of people to a lower or outer edge of a community or society.”
For so long, the Igbos have bitterly cried out against apparent marginalisation by the Federal Goverment of Nigeria. There is almost a zero federal presence in the east, despite the fact that the eastern region is the most technologically advanced of all the regions.
This suggests unequivocally that the Igbo-speaking Nigerians have been unjustly treated. There is a well calculated ploy by the powers that be from other ethnic nationalities to ensure that the Igbo region stays perennially underdeveloped. 
What the Igbos are going through can be traced to none other than Yakubu Gowon. Gowon should explain why a people who were by far the dominant majority ethnic group were suddenly relegated to only one out of the three states created by him in the old Eastern region.
Why alter demography just to make the Igbos a minority in a region where they were the majority? Since then, the Igbos haven’t been able to get this injustice reversed and till date, they have seen more states and local governments created in other regions across the country.
 Nigerian historians are unanimous that the 1963 census remains the most transparent in the country till date. The 1963 census stated that one out of every four Nigerians was an Igbo, which means that if things were done equitably in this country, the Igbos should have a 25 per cent representation in all federal institutions as well as a 25 per cent share of all states and local governments created since independence.
We must tell ourselves the truth and stop living in denial. Nigeria as it stands today is sitting on a keg of gun powder and if we must stay together as a country, we have to sit down and discuss the terms and conditions of our coexistence.
No section of the country should be treated better than others. I have heard some northerners mutter several times that power belongs to them. “Born to rule,” the old Sokoto State slogan is a clear confirmation of what has been psyched into the system of every northerner. 
And they keep saying “One Nigeria?” Isn’t it obvious that the northerners are more Nigerians than other Nigerians? That’s why they could openly threaten the nation with violence like they did in the just concluded presidential election.
It was peddled about that if Buhari had lost the election, there would have been trouble in the country and as a result, a lot of people voted against their wishes especially in the north. So many issues need to be addressed in this country.
For example, how do you explain why Arabic is on the naira when the official language of the country is English? How do you explain why an Hausa man is allowed to carry daggers freely when others get arrested for carrying a razor blade?
Please, can someone explain to me who the real Hausas are?
 I have travelled to virtually all the northern states and in most of the states, the people I met claimed not to be Hausas but from other tribes. According to them, that they spoke fluent Hausa doesn’t mean they are Hausas.
Nancy who’s from Kaduna always makes it known to whoever cares to listen that she’s not Hausa but Zango Kataf. My guitarist who’s from Nasarawa State grumbles whenever I call him an Hausa man. Amina, my Fulani neighbour screams and curses whenever I call her an Hausa lady. So who then are the real Hausas? 
What states are they occupying? Stop using politics to bamboozle me that Hausa is a majority. Stop using politics to lump Hausa and Fulani together because you want me to think you are highly populated.
 In the just concluded presidential election, Katsina State had over two million eligible voters, I have been to Katsina several times and I can’t remember ever seeing so many people there. How did they come about the figures in the presidential election?
May God save this country from desperate politicians because it doesn’t make any sense politicising the population of the North when we see otherwise each time we travel there. 
It is in the same light they claimed Kano was more populated than Lagos in the census conducted during Obasanjo’s regime. We are tired of these lies. If we must remain an indivisible country, the true population of the Hausas, Igbos and Yorubas and every other ethnic group in this country must be made public as well as the number of Christians and Muslims. Enough of the Hausa-Fulani scam or the Zango Kataf man being counted as Hausa.
Finally, the fact that other ethnic groups see the marginalisation of the Igbos as relative or just a perception and not based on the objective realities on ground is a shame.
The Nigerian army today cannot produce a bullet but the boys in Awka are producing not only bullets but guns. An unbiased Federal Government would have taken advantage of that and create employment as well as exporting to generate money for the country. 
With a little government encouragement, Aba can easily rival the industralised nations of the world in production. If Ndigbo won’t be allowed to enjoy the freedom, to develop and maximise their collective and individual potential through unfettered access, use and exploitation of God-given resources – human and material, the country might soon be plunged into another years of Biafra vs Nigeria and this time around, there will be a victor and a vanquished.
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Entertainment

"Mr President please leave entertainers alone." Etcetera writes

Once again, Nollywood and President Jonathan are disconnected from the priorities of Nigerians. Millions are hungry and the country is headed off a cliff and what we get is the President having weekly dinner with celebs at Eko Hotel.
Mr. President should know that all entertainers in the country won’t amount to a spoon of water in the bucket of our population. I agree that our entertainers judging by recent behaviour are now seen as hungry men and women with insatiable appetite, but Mr. President, the larger part of the society are equally hungry and should be fed as well.
Why feed just the entertainers? Isn’t that discrimination? What will the entertainers say to Jonathan except the usual lies and half truths? Can a man with a mouthful of undeserved food speak or say the truth? 
An assessment of the lifestyle of these entertainers gives a false picture of the situation of things as it affects the society at large. I got your invite for the first dinner which held at Eko Hotel and I boycotted it because I felt that any event by the government at this point in time should be about reassuring the people that the government feels their pains deeply with promises of working tirelessly to bring an end to the underlying causes of such situations in this country, not getting together to eat small chops and samosa while most Nigerians are languishing.
It was very embarrassing waking up the next morning to see our shameless celebrities posing with their invites on social media which invariably means they are telling their fans and the masses who brought them to fame that they are enjoying the good life and everyone else can go to hell.
Any event by the government at this point in time should be about reassuring the people that the government feels their pains deeply with promises of working tirelessly to bring an end to the underlying causes of such situations in this country, not getting together to eat small chops and samosa while most Nigerians are languishing.

One entertainer jokingly asked why the President is having these dinners with (the same set of) celebs all the time. I wanted to attribute it to youth empowerment but on a second thought, If Mr. President has a genuine interest in youth empowerment, hosting a few entertainers doesn’t cut across as empowering the youth.

I think Mr. President has been wrongly advised that entertainers can be used to influence the Nigerian youths and electorate. These entertainers can’t influence votes within their families.
Another thing is, if Mr. President must have an interactive session with entertainers, he should consider a larger representation of entertainers from all parts of the country, not just those who ply their trade in the south. It will seem to most people that Mr. President is only interested in entertainers from the south. It is called the Nigerian entertainment industry not the South South and South East entertainment industry.
Has Mr. President taken over responsibilities of the Lagos State governor because he currently seems to enjoy greater visibility in the state than the governor and these visits come with a heavy cost to the state in terms of lost man hours caused by traffic along the routes to the event venue.
Streets are usually cordoned off by security personnel and a strange difficulty to use mobile phones in such areas, possibly because of the deployment of radio signal jamming devices by the operatives on guard in those areas.

Residents of Lagos shouldn’t go through this because their President is in town. I’ll love to tell Mr. President that service, not celebrities, delivers votes.
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Entertainment

Etcetera shares his thoughts on the hike in DSTV subscription fees

I have decided to lend my voice to the call for sanctions against Dstv in Nigeria, despite the fact that I have been cautioned by a couple of entertainers that speaking up against the almighty cable network may result in the banning of my works on its network. Yes, it is true that challenging these multinationals in Nigeria attracts sanctions especially for entertainers, but I have decided to speak up because I am one of the millions of Nigerians affected by any increment in subscription charges.

Moreover, what’s the point of having my works on a platform that my fans can’t afford? Every entertainer who’s chickened out of this campaign for his/her selfish interest should know that the continuous indifference of Dstv to our plights over the years is a slap on the face of every Nigerian, inclusive of the entertainers themselves. 

These are the same entertainers that have complained of being shortchanged by Dstv for many years. Nigerian movie producers have complained of receiving peanuts for their works on the same network.

Nawa ooo! Should anyone be afraid to express his/her dissatisfaction with a product he/she is paying for? Let’s make Dstv understand that it is licensed to do business in Nigeria for none other reasons than providing value and the value it delivers has to justify the price charged. Otherwise, we will be persuaded to look for alternatives or invent our own like the Alaba boys are doing. No business can leave out customer value and satisfaction for ever, not even a beast like Dstv.
Enough of its appalling pricing strategy. Heck, they have given us a truck load of reasons to boycott their services and it is incredibly ridiculous that NBC which is tasked with the responsibility of protecting our interest has chosen to stay mute even with all our complaints. This is one of many reasons why this country sucks.

Dstv reception is so damn terrible that spitting on the floor where its dish is pegged instantly scrambles the signals. The long rebooting process is another chapter in a voluminous book of frustrations. I wonder if the authorities of Nigerian Broadcasting Corporation are not experiencing this same horrendous customer service and monopolistic tactics that we have forever complained about.
Well, I won’t be surprised to hear that Dstv has special packages for NBC staff. Or how does one explain why its bad PR and continued price hikes haven’t crippled its business in Nigeria? Can Dstv subject South Africans to such substandard services? It has a very unique and annoying way of practising price discrimination, by selling the same product at different prices to different groups of consumers.
What’s most annoying is its refusal to communicate any valid reason for this exploitative act. This warrants for a total boycott of its services across the country. Now that it has seen that we have started complaining and threatening to boycott its services, it will quickly roll out a new promo and a small discount on a new package to keep us on board.
Nigerians should be smart this time around. We shouldn’t accept anything less than a revert to the old price. For Christ sake, must we consistently haggle Dstv to keep prices down or treat us equally with people in its homeland? Sad thing is that our efforts don’t necessarily ensure rates won’t continue to rise because the regulators who are supposed to keep it in check have been compromised.
With all the illegalities perpetuated by these multinationals, isn’t it a miracle that none has been sanctioned? I once asked a Chinese neighbour if he has a permit to drive in Nigeria and the goon waved a N50 note at me saying, ‘this is my driver’s licence.’
These foreign investors use paid lobbyists within our corrupt government to ward off sanctions. I am sure that with this ongoing campaign for Dstv’s sanction, some government officials would have received bogus cheques to turn a deaf ear to our cries.
I don’t even want to think of its endless promo offers and how it makes it extremely difficult for me to know what I am paying for and what services I am actually receiving. Not mentioning the complex pricing schemes that make it almost impossible for anyone to figure out how much any of the bundles it is offering actually costs, especially once the promo is over.
Dstv can’t tell us it doesn’t know that the absence of simple, transparent pricing reduces consumer confidence and increases distrust but it has deliberately chosen to capitalise on the monopoly status given to it by our corrupt government to deny us the benefits of simpler pricing, fewer plans, and greater transparency.
Maybe it is so big that its competitors will have to attack multiple markets to fully take it down but it should also know that if a company’s success routinely sacrifices the satisfaction of its customers, it inevitably becomes more difficult to sustain growth and generate revenue.
The question now is, when will NTA and other local stations make use of innovative methods and bypass their old ways of doing things so that if Dstv doesn’t attempt to change and provide efficient customer services, its future in Nigeria will no longer be as bright as it thinks.

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Entertainment

Etcetera shades Wizkid, Genevieve, Oritsefemi in new article

Again, I’m going to go out on a limb here to talk on a subject that may not be very popular or nice to Nigerian celebs, especially the guilty ones. I have said it severally that just because someone is a celebrity doesn’t mean they are smart.

They may have a talent or skill but many of them are not smart especially when it involves their finances. The old saying, “your lies will come back to haunt you” has never been more true than the recent cases of D’banj, Iyanya and Wizkid who are being kicked out of their homes after lying they owned the properties.

The residents of blogosphere boulevard were stunned when the news broke that D’banj got an eviction notice from his landlord and was also said to be highly indebted.
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Yes, it is hard to believe that someone of D’banj’s status could actually be thrown out of his house. But for those who know that the Nigerian entertainment industry is built on lies and more lies, it didn’t come as a surprise or a case of a cranky landlord.

Entertainers are well rehearsed liars. They are not what they make you believe they are. Even the upcoming artiste with just one song on radio issues a press release that they’ve bought a mansion in Lekki Phase One and a Range Sport SUV?

There was a time when it was strongly whispered that Don Jazzy and his crew owned Club Jonzing until the truth came out. You must have also heard that D’banj owns Koko Lounge. My brothers and sisters in habit of believing everything you hear, I wish you all knew how your favourite celebs laugh in their closet seeing you swallow the lies like fufu and draw soup.

Let me give an example of how some artistes can be terrible liars, we were on a tour of five Nigerian cities with Basketmouth and his then Humour Unlimited monthly show sponsored by BAT. When we got to Enugu, a certain artiste was snoring like a broken trailer exhaust pipe in the bus on our way from the event centre to the hotel. I tapped him hoping to stir him up to reduce his noise but I was shocked when he woke up immediately swearing that he wasn’t snoring, that he was only trying to get our reaction. Our reaction? After snoring for about 20 minutes with a trail of saliva from one corner of his mouth to his shirt collar! O’boy some people can lie in Africa.

Did you hear it on breaking news when Iyanya bought a house in his dreams? His management must have thought it was a fantastic promo strategy then. If only they knew that not far into the future, Iyanya would be dragged by his balls across the floor of the internet, and that his aggrieved brother would take to twitter to inform everyone that Iyanya had been evicted (not from Project shame) from his dream mansion.

Yes, it is double wahala for deadi-bodi and the owner of deadi-bodi but won’t it be tripple wahala for Oritsefemi and his management when fans eventually discovered that the N200m mansion he purportedly bought some months back was actually bought in his dreams and not in the real world?

How much does he charge per gig and how long has he been playing these gigs to be able to afford a mansion of that amount? Isn’t it wonderful how naija entertainers think their fans and everyone else is shallow and gullible? Common sense should tell every artiste that these lies won’t achieve anything but hurt their careers in the long run when the truth is eventually revealed.

Like it was revealed this week that Wizkid’s car hasn’t been paid for. True, some naija musicians make a lot of money, but not the kind of money they want you to believe. Does Oritsefemi look the part of a N200m house owner even with all his body cream? The telco brand ambassadors who are being coerced into lying about their endorsement fees can’t make such a preposterous claim not to talk of someone with no endorsement deal.

I shivered when I saw in some blogs over the week that Genevieve just bought a house in Ghana for a whopping $4m. This will go down as the grandmother of all lies told so far. Genny baybay, you should have asked yourself if there’s any house worth $4m in the whole of Ghana, except you bought the Ghana National Theatre which by the way may not be worth $4m.

These lies are getting dumber by the day. The worst thing that can happen to any man is believing his own lies. If we had a system where entertainers are taxed for their acquisitions, the ridiculous and unnecessary lies will stop. They will speak the truth and nothing but the truth or so help them God.‎

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Entertainment

Political Prostitutes: Rapper, MI lashes out at Etcetera

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Rapper, Jude ‘MI’ Abaga has expressed his disappointment over the points singer turned writer, Etcetera raised in his latest article published in PUNCH newspaper today.
Recall that the latter labelled celebrities frolicking with politicians and featuring in election campaigns political prostitutes. 
The ‘Chairman’ crooner vented his anger on micro-blogging site, twitter in a series of tweets. Read below.
Mr Incredible wrote, “Lol @ etcetera. I remember a time when etcetera and I were hustling the music business together. Doing what we had to to come up.

Hoping that one day we would be in a position for political candidates to seek out endorsment. I’m sorry you aren’t here with us.

The primary thing an entertainer brings to any platform is eyeballs. Look at views with a star and views without. #yoursmarterthanthis

The only reason you write your articles is because that’s your hustle #igetitigetit #hopesayyoudemakemoney #yoursmarterthanthis

If you had a large fan base.. Your lack of class and an ethical compass as a writer shows you would probably support Hitler 4 d right sum

You should be ashamed at yourself. That you would so classlesly criticize anything that puts money in your colleagues hands

You should be ashamed that in the last few years you have done more to pull our industry down then help it grow.‎

And here is my opinion.. Since you freely give yours out. Your album is quite possibly the worst album released by a Naija artist ever!”‎



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The latest political prostitutes in town | By: Etcetera

Some say Afro Candy is a prostitute. Some say she’s not or at least, not yet. A few others say she’s a porn star, which is not in the same league as prostitution.
Porn stars are taxed, prostitutes are not. So Afrolicious baybay, you have to up your game to get into the league of prostitutes, if it is what you really desire.
My suggestion would be; instruct your agent or booker to get you appearances in any of the political campaign videos, so you can put to use that floppy behind your mama gave you.
And if you are lucky enough, you can get cameos and wiggle that thing around the aspirants themselves. You have to get your bum (sorry your hands) bloodied to earn the highly coveted “Political prostitute” tag.
Now my Candilicious Afrolistic baybay, these are a few names of the latest political prostitutes in the country: Olamide, Banky W, Don Jazzy, Flavour, Duncan Mighty, D banj, Mercy Johnson, Ibinabo, Ini Edo, Mama Gee, Naeto C, Joseph Yobo, Daddy Showkey, Kanu Nwankwo, and Sammie Okposo.
I have been asked several times if our celebs should get involved with politics. But today, let me push the same question in different words to everyone reading this article.
Do politicians making affiliations with celebs prompt you to vote for them? For me, it’s a definite No. Nigerians are not influenced by celebs to indulge in certain acts because their favourite celeb says so.
For instance, I like Kate Henshaw but expecting me to vote for a candidate she supports in the forthcoming elections is like asking me to start buying a particular milk brand because Don Jazzy endorsed it.
Puh-leez, things like that don’t cut it here in Naija. Naija is a different kettle of fish compared to what is obtainable in places like the US.
The politicians using celebs for their campaigns should ask themselves what on earth the average person has got in common with Dbanj.
He has millions and he may never have to lift a finger again in his life if he so desires. And you think the boys in Okokomaiko who are not smiling will listen to his unrealistic rants on TV and radio?
Using a celeb for election campaigns is as stupid as the political aspirants themselves dancing in their campaign musical videos. Imagine Jimmy Agbaje and Ambode dancing in their campaign videos? Ok, I am sorry, no imagination is needed.
I feel sorry for the politicians that Nigerians are not fooled by all the media images of celebs pushed at them every day on TV. It has become so much that we can’t tell the difference anymore between political campaign videos and the Nigerian musical videos.
The only cocktail of politics and celebrity that the masses are bound to endorse is that of creating useful awareness that will benefit the larger society.
People like Bono have political views which bring attention to real, humanitarian issues that transcend the established political doctrines and have nothing to do with producing those plastic karaoke like political jingles our entertainers are paid to produce.
 Those entertainers who see nothing wrong in frolicking with politicians will say I am speaking from a misguided perspective. Go ahead, defend your support for that politician. Tell me you are campaigning for change. You can’t fool anyone but yourselves.
Hey, my Afro Candilicious baybay, you go ahead with your trade okay? Don’t let the criticisms of your fellow entertainers bother you anymore. Tell them your porn is definitely a kinder and gentler version when placed side by side with their political prostitution.
Now, good day ladies and gentlemen. Please don’t forget to tip the waitress on your way out.‎
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Buhari has attended more church services than many Christians in the past weeks- Etcetera

The growing speculation that the elections might be postponed speaks volumes of someone’s election jitters. But who will it benefit most between Maj. Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (retd.) and President Goodluck Jonathan if the elections are postponed?
The Independent National Electoral Commission had four years to prepare for February elections. How come it waited till the 11th hour to start distributing PVCs? Nawa ooo.
People should know that no amount of scheming and manoeuvring can stop Nigerians now. The much clamoured change must be achieved, especially now that the masses have become more politically conscious and every discuss around the country over the past few weeks has been centred on politics.
Politicians who have been blinded to the plight of the people should realise that mere rhetoric won’t cut it for them anymore. Nigerians are demanding for a change. The people are not smiling anymore. Whether it is a new regime taking over or a return of the incumbent, whoever takes the seat better know that a better Nigeria is non negotiable anymore.
It is a shame it took us this long to realise the power we have as a people. But it will be the funeral of any politician who’s dumb not to realise that it won’t be business as usual and that their campaign for re-election is by providing the dividends of democracy from the very minute they are sworn into office.
I guess if someone told President Jonathan that Buhari is going to have a huge support from the masses, he would have done more to secure his place for another term by providing the basic amenities demanded by the people. Getting re-elected shouldn’t be difficult for any public office holder who has the interest of the people at heart.
Elections are zero-sum affairs. The more the Nigerian people perceive the incumbent as successful the less likely they are to vote for the opposition in the next election. And delivering democratic dividends (not just on billboards or on pages of newspapers), undercuts the whole logic of the opposition’s campaign against any incumbent or the incumbent’s party’s continuation in office.
Is Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos State the Director General of Buhari and Akin Ambode’s campaign group. As governor, he is the father of everyone in the state including Jimi Agbaje, Ambode and every other contestant. He shouldn’t be replying or throwing jabs at any contestant no matter the political parties they represent.
With Agbaje’s tax issue, the governor should have directed the Lagos State Inland Revenue Service to look into the matter and if Agbaje is found wanting, he should be referred to INEC for appropriate sanctions.
Whoever is in charge of Ambode’s campaign team should be given a raise. A couple of weeks back, a lot of lagosians including myself didn’t know who Ambode is. In fact, I had to call friends in Alausa to inquire about him. But judging from the awareness his campaign has generated in just a few weeks, if the governorship election of Lagos State is decided by that, your guess is as good as mine.
Lagos State is officially looking like one big political photo album or the living room of a wall paper merchant. Every wall or fence in the state is covered with campaign posters of all sort. I thought Lagos State government placed a ban on pasting of posters in the state.
Or is the ban meant for only entertainers? Well, now I guess those guys pasting those white tacky A4 size posters with “House-girl or Plumber needed” have gotten all the encouragement they need.
I think Buhari has attended more church services than many Christians in the past weeks. Is he not trying too hard to convince us that he is not a religious fanatic? At this age and time, we should be discouraging sentiments in politics. Using the church for political campaigns is not exactly doing that.
One question is, is Buhari or Jonathan going to church to give their lives to Christ and be born again? Should the church be allowed for political campaigns? If a pastor chooses to hire out his church auditorium for campaigns, is the congregation supposed to be included as part of the deal? We attend church on Sundays to hear the unadulterated word of God and not to listen to manifesto recitals.
Did Buhari pull out of the presidential debate for the same reasons given by his party? Well, we are not buying all that gist. I think it is the soldier in Buhari that took that decision. Being a good soldier goes beyond matching to war. It is also knowing when to go to war and when to sit at home.
Buhari’s decision was smart indeed and I would have done the same if I was in his position. As weird as it sounds, he doesn’t seem like someone who can beat Jonathan in a debate.
I have already pictured Jonathan entering the debate with a confident grin on his face like a kid strolling to receive his report card in front of his parents, knowing he had come first in class.
A debate between Jonathan and Buhari would have been like a boxing bout between Mike Tyson and Bash Ali. There’s only one outcome. TKO!
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