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REAL STORY: MY PAIN, MY GAIN

Kathleen broke down in tears when she heard her mother walk out of the room. In as much as she said those words to her, she knew the pain inside of her. She felt her whole world was falling apart; the one family she has now is dying and the worst, she would never enjoy the mother- daughter relationship. 
She hated the emotion she is feeling right now, like she belonged somewhere. Nothing in her life made any sense for a long time, but now, she felt something inside of her, something stronger than the pain and hurt she's always carried with her. She wanted to scream out and ask it to stop haunting her. She tried to dismiss what it meant; this is love, a love she had denied her mother all these years, a love she tried to suppress with the pain, hurt and guilt. She realized that somewhere in her heart, she did love her mother; probably had caged it somewhere far away, but something or someone had let it out.
 Then, she felt angry all over again. They had no right to do this to her, they have no right to make her feel this way; this is definitely not what she is made of, this is not who she is. She had trained herself to be numb to any feelings, in exception to the pain and hurt she felt. Then, she concluded this was Collins' fault; he had told her about love, he caused all this. He opened something in her, like a part of her she buried a long time ago had suddenly awoken. Suddenly, she stood up from the bathroom floor and walked back into the room, went to her computer and started to type. If he indeed loves someone like her, then, he should wait until he reads her messages. She is not someone to be loved, not capable of loving anyone. She started to write everything in her life to Collins; started with the rape, and how she became her step father's mistress; she told him about her bosses' husband whom she sleeps with from time to time, also about the various things she had done. After she was done typing, without hesitation, she hit the send button and went straight to bed.
An hour later, Kathleen has been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep so she stood up to take her sleeping tablet when she saw the door open and Paul walked in. She was startled. "What do you want?" She demanded. Paul was taken aback at her outburst. Over the years, she had never for once questioned him in such manner."What!" he gasped; confused. He looked back to see if he had entered the right room."What do you want?" she challenged him again. He moved towards her. "What do you mean?" he looked confused."I want you out of my room now!" She felt a strong determination and anger overwhelm her; even though she had not planned to stop him or even thought about it but something in her made her snap. 
"I just got back from Port Harcourt and thought to spend the night here," he walked towards her. "Your mother is fast asleep and doesn't even know I'm back." He started to unbutton his shirt.
"So?" she looked angrily into his eyes."So, let's get down to business; I will leave very early in the morning before she wakes up and pretend I just got back." He let out a wicked smile.Kathleen rubbed her hands against her face in frustration. "Paul!" she shouted to get his attention. "I want you out of my room now and out of my life!"Paul startled as he looked as if he was just woken up from a deep sleep. "What has come over you?"Kathleen's anger rose within her as she felt like going to kick him out of her room. "Nothing has come over me!" she raged out. "I'm doing something I should have done years ago.""So, you suddenly woke up one day and decided to do this?" he asked smirking.Her breathing became rapid and shallow; even the thought of him standing there repulsed her. "I said I'm done!" she shouted. After the rape few years ago, which became a constant affair between them, even under the same roof as her mother, his wife; she had never rejected him or even said anything to him. All she did is allow him on top of her and have sex with her, after he is done, he just takes his leave and this has continued all these years."You can't be serious." He roared out in anger."Something I should have done many years ago; I should have  ……" she looked around her room for something, and then found a scissors on her dressing table; she picked it up and pointed towards him. "I should have ripped your heart from your disgusting body all these years, I should have done something on the very first day you forced your self on me; you raped me and destroyed me right from that day." She screamed out with streams of tears running down her cheeks. "I should never have allowed you touch me after that; I should never have done all the things I did. You made me into this disgusting person that I can barely look at my self without being sick in the stomach." She walked towards him and faced him squarely. Paul stood there dog-smacked staring back at her, and then all of a sudden, he roared out in laughter.  "You enjoyed everything!" he laughed out, almost like a joke to him.Kathleen couldn't believe this. The man has no iota of emotion in him; he is a man that she should have killed a long time ago but instead, she allowed him destroy everything in her. She became more furious staring at him; not even a sign of remorse. "You Pig!" she screamed out in tears. "Bastard!" her jaws tightened in disgust; her heart pounds in anger. "To think my mother loved you despite all these; she took you in and gave you everything you ever wanted; you stole from her, you destroyed her daughter's love and you were never there for her. Do you even know she is dying?" she asked wearily. "Of course, you do." Sadness filled her. "You are merely waiting around to get what's left of her when she's gone, isn't it?" She screamed at him. Paul was tongue-tied as he stared back at her. "God! I have been such a fool; I have destroyed everything." She leaned against the wall, unable to stand as the hot tears that clouded her eyes began rolling down her cheeks. "I can see you've got your big mouth back," He scoffed at her. "This reminds me of a certain fourteen years old girl, who thought she had it all but later became the very thing she despised." He growled at her."You Bastard!" Kathleen raged, walking towards him with the scissors pointed at him. Paul immediately walked towards the door, opened it to escape but found Sophie standing there, drenched in tears.Written by: Abimbola CirclesOfLove
To read full story, please visit www.circlesoflove.co.uk

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