The don has spoken, who are we not to listen/read? Meanwhile, have you all put your iron jackets on? The Chief of Staff, Edo State Government House, Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon has reacted to Nigerian/Chelsea midfielder, John Mikel Obi's CAF award loss, he considers it……….well, whatever you make of his speech.

"I am maniacally bewildered, overgassted and flabberwhelmed at the paraplegic crinkum crankum that characterised the Glo CAF awards culminating in an od oriferous saga cum gargantuan gaga! The jiggery pokery of CAF in crowning Yaya Toure instead of our very own prodigy John Obi Mikel is a veritable bugaboo that must be pooh-poohed by all compos mentis homo sapiens! The perfidy and Mendacity of all the apparatchic of sports suzerainty is not only repugnant but also insalubrious!

I said to my self: What an anathematous disdain of the citizenry! What a deprecable descent from the sublime to the ridiculous! Who will curb the odoriferous excesses of this machavellian and mephistophelean cabal in the Confederation? With this state of affairs, i dare say that African football is swimming in a pestilential aqua with a disastrious terminus ad quem inherently laden with avoidable cataracts, ice bergs and oxbow Lakes. It is sardonic and lugubrious!!!"

*longest sigh ever*