So I’m drifting a little bit from style (what you guys know me with) to situation comedy (sit-com), Now this is a very insightful break down of the different kinds of Nigerian women, I’d box them into regions for better comprehension.

Here they are-

(1) AMAKA (The basic Eastern girl)

Amaka is the type of girl who is ready to be whatever you want her to be, as long you have whatever she wants (cars, house, containers, Chieftaincy titles etc). Amaka is likely to be naturally fair skinned, hairy and quite pretty, she loves shiny clothes and red lipstick. Amaka is likely to have a little problem with pronouncing words that start with these two letters R and L , she is homely and very peaceful (until you take her for granted). Her weaknesses are self-composure and esteem as she is easily intimidated by classier woman (hence making the very loud Amaka become an introvert)…. But one good thing Amaka would leave you with is hunger for her meals .

(2) FUNKE (The Ijebu drama queen)

When Funke talks or whispers, you would think she’s quarelling with you. Her persona is quite funny. She’s likely to be dark skinned, busty and somehow pretty; she loves the night life and would stop at nothing to flaunting you before her competitors. She is likely to have more female friends, grouped into different names on her phone and diary (ie; binta secondary school girls, Great-Ife ladies, Bukki’s wedding bridal friends)

Funke is one that can never be intimidated (hintimidated as she is likely to pronounce it) because when english fails her in a brawl, there is always yoruba for backups! But one thing you won’t forget about Funke is her oily food. The oil in her meals is enough to ordain as many priests in this lifetime ……………….#okbye

(3) AMINA (The silent killer)

Amina is the sweetest girl ever!, she is decent and homely, well-groomed and has the most potential towards being a lasting spouse, but what Amina wants? Amina gets! Amina shouldn’t be toyed with as she is either a niece or daughter to one “baba” . She is more open to diabolic means since it is within her reach. But Amina is beautiful sha oh……. Especially when you take off that hijab and see what Allah gave her!. One thing Amina makes you remember is her total submission and respect for you.

(4) EKAETE (The raw material)

Ekaete is just the most hilarious! From her intonation to her walking steps, you would never forget. Ekaete too is a good kitchenette as your weight would never remain the same! Ekaete is raw and proud of it! But please don’t expose Ekaete too much, except you want to stop enjoying what she is known for *i no talk pass that one*

(5) FEJIRO (The waffey mama)

Fejiro is comedy! Because she too is very self confident, whether na hand, mouth or bottle……she dey dia! Fejiro is likely to be a bad cook as everything she would cook must have less salt. Fejiro is the kind of woman that would come into your life and make others leave…..she doesn’t share her man. One thing you will never forget about her is her waffey semantics during a quarrel.

(6) PRINCESS (Phc’s 1st daughter)

Princess originally could be named omasiri-chi, ebiere or ibiso but she chooses to call herself Princess because the need for an english “tush” name is highly needed for self promotion.

So Princess is your typical ghetto harriet, she probably can drink more beers than you, probably have more money sef! But she’s with you because the need to have a “boy friend” is crucial.

She is likely to wear a leg chain and have her eye-lash extensions in different colors. She is a trend follower and would stop at nothing to get the “latest” in-thing in town. She isn’t homely because she could be a mother of three (codedly), and one thing that shouldn’t shock you when you find out is that she could be ‘doing’ girls by the side.

So Gentlemen, here are the ladies and their “basic Eve-Nature”, however; education, exposure and social standing could erase or exempt these facts.

Written by: Daniel Boyle:

CEO Beige Model Management

Photocredit: Bella Naija