This week, more than 138,000 vaccinators will fan out across five African countries in the Lake Chad area in a push to eliminate polio in Africa and rid the world of this terrible disease forever.
They will take boats across fast-flowing rivers, ride jeeps along sandy ravines, walk crowded street in towns and cities and navigate cramped quarters of refugee camps to ensure that every child is immunized. Traveling for hours a day, these dedicated women and men will visit children in homes, schools, train stations, and transit points across Nigeria, Niger, Chad, Cameroon, and the Central African Republic.
This also marks World Immunization Week, a coordinated effort to make sure that people everywhere understand the importance of getting immunized to protect against vaccine-preventable diseases.
And by coincidence, it was almost seven years ago that the two of us first met in a hotel conference room in Abuja, Nigeria’s capital. We were there as part of a diverse group—public officials, religious leaders, business people, polio survivors, and journalists—to discuss how we could work together to stop polio in Nigeria.
At the time, Nigeria had done an amazing job tackling polio—reducing reported cases by 95 percent in just one year. But it was still circulating in six Nigerian states. While 95 percent might seem like success, as long as a single child remains infected, children across Africa and around the world are at risk.
Thanks to the effort of so many, Nigeria’s Borno State is now the only place in Africa today where polio is still circulating. It will take ingenuity to end polio there, and it will take persistence to continue reaching children in the surrounding area with vaccines to protect them from the disease until it is eradicated. But we’re confident it can be done. And when that happens, Africa will celebrate one of the biggest victories ever in public health.
Since our first meeting in 2010, the two of us have worked together on a range of other projects to help improve health in Nigeria and across Africa.
We supported the establishment of emergency operations centers in Nigeria and other countries to keep polio from spreading. This turned out to be a blessing during the 2014 Ebola outbreak in West Africa. When the disease first appeared in Nigeria—an international travel hub that is home to more than 180 million people—the staff of an emergency operations center set up in Lagos jumped into action and stopped the disease in its tracks. It’s almost unimaginable to think what would have happened without them.
In the state of Kano, we are working with the government to ensure that children can get essential childhood immunizations against tetanus, pneumonia, liver cancer and measles. And when parents bring their children into a clinic for vaccinations, health workers can address other health issues, too, like nutrition, care for pregnant mothers and newborns and malaria prevention and treatment. We have since widened the program to several other states.
Vaccines are also one of the best tools to save lives in an epidemic, such as the meningitis C outbreak happening now in Nigeria and other West African countries.
And because of the devastating impact malnutrition has on Nigeria’s children – leading to 300,000 deaths annually and causing stunted growth and development in millions more – we have expanded our partnership to include nutrition programs across 12 states.
Earlier this year, we also helped launch the End Malaria Council, a group of influential public and private sector leaders committed to ensuring that malaria eradication remains a top global priority.
Underlying all these efforts is our belief that strengthening health systems is the key to breaking the cycle of extreme poverty and disease—and kick-starting a virtuous cycle of health, productivity, and prosperity.
In our work together, we have learned a few important lessons.
First, improving the health of communities depends on a successful partnership between government, communities, religious and business leaders, volunteers, and NGOs. This ensures that everyone is rowing in the same direction. And it is essential to building trust so parents have the confidence that vaccines are safe and will protect their children from life-threatening diseases.
Second, we must keep innovating to speed up progress. This month, for example, vaccinators will test a new vaccine carrier that keeps the temperature of vaccines stable for up to five days, even in blistering heat. This breakthrough will enable vaccinators to finally reach children in extremely remote areas with life-saving vaccines.
Last, accurate and reliable data is central to any effort to improve health. Data can tell a health officer which communities are running low on vaccine supplies, where there are gaps in vaccination coverage, and which new mothers need reminders to take their babies to the health clinic to be immunized.
An Africa without polio is within reach. So is the vision of getting life-saving vaccines to every child. Success will generate more enthusiasm and support from across different sectors – government, business, civil society, the media – to tackle other killer diseases and the underlying conditions that affect people’s health, including fixing broken health systems.
We know that strengthening health systems takes time and diligence. We are optimistic that Africa can achieve the future it aspires to. That future depends on people working together—across national borders and across socioeconomic strata—to build the better world we all want.
Opinion: The Senator Dino Melaye Circus ~ By: Tony Ogunlowo
The Honourable Senator Dino Melaye is rarely out of the spotlight these days – mostly for all the wrong reasons. His uncouth and brash comments and sometimes erratic behaviour have led to questions about his suitability as a Senator.
The word ‘Honourable’ that precedes ‘Senator’ is meant to refer to someone of impeccable standing in the society; someone who is highly respected and revered as a Senator, a member of a government body that makes laws. However this doesn’t seem to describe Senator Melaye. To be quite honest one simple word sums him up – agbaya! You can’t keep on acting like a child and expect people to take you seriously. Ditch the comic act! Whatever did the people in Kogi West see in him when they voted for him?
The Senate is not a place for an individual to display comical theatrics. It’s a serious environment where people sit to plot the future path of the country. But yet again there are other clowns in the senate who go there to sleep or advocate child marriage!
In his first incarnation as a clown he threatened to beat up and assault his fellow Senator, Mrs Remi Tinubu. And to intimate her further he actually flew down to Lagos to pose for photographs near her residence! In a more civilized world he would have been arrested for threatening behaviour and stalking!
His latest comic performance revolves around the validity of his qualifications. Did he graduate from ABU or not? Sahara Reporters who dug up the story claim he didn’t graduate from ABU and neither did he graduate from any of the other foreign institutions he claimed to have attended. (- mind you he’s not the only politician to have been caught out being ‘creative’ with their qualifications!).
In a sane world any responsible politician would have shown actual copies of their degrees and graduation photographs to quell any rumours. But not our esteemed Senator. He had to drag it out ; turning up in the senate wearing a graduation gown, threatening to sue Sahara Reporters before finally dragging the ABU VC to the senate to confirm that he did graduate from ABU with a third class in Geography.
Even though some still question his claims, especially since anything can be bought in Nigeria, it beggars a simple question – why all the theatrics over a matter that could have been resolved in a more dignified manner?
And to take his theatrics even further he actually took to YouTube to give a rendition of aje ku iya nio je….to taunt his ‘haters’! Agbaya ! Well if the day job of a Senator doesn’t work out he can always become a performing comic and singer!
Now, according to him, he’s just survived an attempt on his life when ten assassins, guns blazing, stormed his house ( -TEN assassins and he’s still alive?). Is this true or is it another one of his attention seeking stunts?
The matter is currently under investigation.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of loladeville.com.ng
The Art of Showing Off: How Celebrities with Low Self-Image Ridicule Themselves Online |By: Tony Ogunlowo
It’s the in-thing now: if you have it you must flaunt it – your wealth, status, possessions – in the most public way possible.
In this new age of online social media it’s not uncommon to see celebrities – and wannabes – flaunting their wealth on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and other platforms much to the annoyance, and envy, of others.
Showing off has now become an art form with each mindless individual trying to outshine everybody else with their material possessions; whether they be Floyd Mayweather or an overpaid footballer showing off their exotic car collection, Davido bragging about spending a million dollars in three months on luxury goods or Kim Kardashian showing off her diamond rings (sic – and we all know what happened to her in Paris!).
Even bit-part Nollywood actresses, socialites and musicians are busy flaunting their designer handbags (- often fakes!), flashy expensive cars and homes. Some take showing off to a ridiculous new level – posing with huge wads of cash, washing their hands with champagne or wearing multi-million dollar watches!
All this showing off trying to say you’re better off than the next person just says one-thing about the individual – insecurity!
Many will argue that it’s the culture of our people to show off what they have but I disagree; any insecure person feels the need to be seen and known as they have no other way of ascertaining themselves. And the best way for them to announce to the world that they have ‘arrived’ is to show off all their materially possessions.
Not only is this stupid and childish it also attracts a lot of unwanted attention from those who don’t have making them susceptible to being robbed or kidnapped.
Most you show off your wealth?
If you have the good fortune to become successful and wealthy keep it to yourself! Showing off and rubbing peoples’ noses in it is not necessarily a good thing and can send out the wrong message to a lot of impressionable people out there who want to have what you’ve got without putting in the effort. Hence the reason why the crime rate is always high as people steal, kidnap and rob to get instant wealth they can show off. It’s strange that you’ll never see people like Bill Gates or Aliko Dangote showing off their wealth.
A quick peek at richkidsnaija on instagram will show you how ridiculous it’s become: people in houses with gold-plated furniture – even toilets! (- why do you need a gold-plated toilet?) people posing beside private planes and expensive cars whilst carrying shopping bags bearing well-known labels from Versace, Gucci, Hermes and Louis Vuitton, showing off expensive watches and jewellery (Why spend over a $100,000 on a watch that can only tell the time and do nothing else?). And that’s not forgetting the big high society ‘Owambe’ parties where the crème de la crème go to spray dollars, euros and pounds (- sorry naira holders keep your money in your pocket!).
Nobody needs to know how wealthy you are especially in a country where half of the population can’t afford a single square meal a day.
“..The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied…” – Lucretius
But the most interesting group of exhibitionists are the wannabes who can’t even afford to show-off. In an attempt to show-off they deck themselves in fake designer clothes and shoes, clutching the latest iPhone and iPad pretending they are rich before slinking off to their nondescript boys’ quarters or rooms in the ghettos. Some even pose for pictures besides other people’s big cars pretending it belongs to them. How many people wear expensive clothes and drive big cars but can’t afford to even feed their own children? All because they want to ‘pose’.
As a Yoruba man will say – “ we meet money in this world and in this world we shall leave it”.
Follow me on Twitter: @Archangel641 or visit http://www.archangel641.blogspot.co.uk
Opinion: Big Brother Naija – Television as Madness ~ By: Reuben Abati
What a relief! So, the Big Brother Naija reality television programme is finally over. It ended Sunday evening with 23-year old Efe Michael Ejemba, University of Jos graduate of Economics and singer winning the N25 million + SUV at stake, with 57.6% of the votes from over 24 million voters across Africa. Warri, where Efe’s family lives, erupted in excitement. At the Multichoice viewing centre in Ikeja, Lagos, where Katung Aduwak took charge so brilliantly, there was a similar eruption of incandescent joy. I was relieved because for about 70 days, the Big Brother Naija show was a big distraction, crass capitalism at its most cynical edge, a source of unmanageable madness in homes and on the streets. Now that it is over, it is time for some honest frank talk for the attention of all stakeholders involved.
Let me start with the lessons, on a positive note, before delivering the blows. Lesson one: In a very instructive manner, the Big Brother Naija reality television show promoted the ideas of choice and people power at the heart of democracy. Televised across Africa, the viewers had the final say in determining who stayed in the house or left during eviction moments on Sundays. The votes were collated, audited and confirmed by Deloitte, a firm of auditors and thus, the viewer as the voter determined the outcomes. In that regard, a reality show of that sort promoted a consciousness of democracy, choice and influence and it further explained why the people from Nigeria to Cape Agulhas all the way up to the Mediterranean sea took fierce ownership of the programme. In a continent where power is the ultimate aphrodisiac and every access to power, fame and influence is seen as an opportunity to oppress and demean, whatever is done to promote a consciousness of choice and the civil society is laudable. Multi choice, thanks.
Lesson Two: in every business concept, perseverance pays. Multichoice has been running its Big Brother Naija and Big Brother Africa concepts for a number of years. Apparently, this year’s Big Brother Naija has been the most impactful, the most profitable and probably also, the most exciting. In one week, over 11 million persons voted to determine the eviction. In the final week of the programme, over 24 million persons voted – that is more than the total number of persons who voted in the Nigerian Presidential election in 2015. This year, Multichoice has made more money from the Big Brother franchise than it has ever done. The programme was sponsored by PayPorte, and with all the voting, and the money spent on recharge cards, Big Brother and Multichoice are the biggest winners. In the end, it is all about business and profit. Everybody has been used. In business, once you have a good, attractive product and you can capture the market, you can fool everybody and make profit. Multi choice, weh done – in Falz, the bad guy’s voice.
Lesson three: humility pays. At the end of the day, in the last week of the programme, the decision by the viewing public was a moral, sentimental one. The biggest star of the programme was, I don’t know what you think, TBOSS (real name: Tokunbo Idowu), half Nigerian, half-Romanian. She dominated the space with her Jezebelic antics, even got some of the male participants ousted by entrapping and outsmarting them with her sexual wiles. She projected herself as a sex object, the ultimate manipulator, the champion Delilah of the Big Brother Africa series. She even made a joke of the entire Big Brother concept by saying she didn’t need the money and if she won, she would spend it in two weeks to pay off debts, and in any case, she had men hitting on her, offering to take her on a ride in their private jets. She played the role of a female barracuda.
Given her looks and talents, she would have been a perfect winner. She would have looked good on the billboards. But she lost because of her arrogance. Attitude is everything: this is the lesson of TBOSS’s disgrace and humiliation. When she was sent out of the House as the second runner up, the viewing centre in Ikeja, Lagos, including Kemen whose nemesis she was, danced in joy. “They are taunting me?” she asked Ebuka, the anchor. No, sweetheart, they were making a far more serious statement about you. The melodramatic ending of Big Brother Naija 2017 is its only redeeming outcome. Bisola, the first runner up does not even have a degree but she showed talent and resolve, even if her whorish flirtation with Thin Tall Tony is so cheap and self-denigrating. Her One-Nigeria consolation prize is something big she should take seriously. Efe won because of his humility. He is considered the poorest and the most needy of the contestants. Patrons of the programme chose to vote for the contestant who looked and sounded like he would need the money and the opportunity. They gave him a chance in life, although the organizers must ensure that going forward, the show does not become a poverty alleviation scheme. Bisola came second because she too looked like she needed help. Debbie Rise and Marvis also made the finals, but that was meant to be a great compliment to their good conduct, but they didn’t have enough support to make it to the top. TBOSS is the main star who lost. I hope she was taken out of South Africa with a private jet or maybe a submarine! Beauty is not everything, baby.
Lesson four: Marketing helps. Branding is everything. Propaganda is profitable. Packaging is nice. Big Brother Naija is nothing but marketing, branding, propaganda, and packaging. A reality show is supposed to be nothing but reality, virtual reality as it happens, but let no one deceive you, everything that happened in the 70 days of BBNaija was packaged, marketed, carefully branded and manipulated. Ebuka, the Big Brother, thumbs up, the scenic designers, kudos, the content developers, three hearty cheers, Multichoice, you guys are the smartest capitalists around, well done! The finale was a bit overdone though, dragged out, over-delayed. Tiwa Savage (hey baby, watch that growing fat around your waist and thigh), Tuface (thanks TuBaba but next time tell Annie to twerk for us- what was that!). In all, the power of television was well advertised.
Now the hard knocks: I rate the theatre high but I consider the whole show a sham, a 419 manipulative effort by a corporate agency, long overdue for an ethical review and scrutiny, a bad influence on corporate ethics. The owners of the programme are just a bunch of insultive, manipulative and exploitative capitalists, feeding on public need for distraction and the negligence of the authorities. Big Brother Naija 2017 is something that should never happen again in the shape we have seen. If Multichoice as a corporate investor wants to make a contribution to Nigeria, it must find ways of doing so in more meaningful forms.
Reality shows have become an established form on television, but whereas there are reality shows that promote talent, music, human capability and genius, enhanced relationships, and intellect, Multichoice, through its Big Brother Naija and Big Brother Africa franchises seems committed to the promotion of base values, chiefly adultery, prostitution, love of money, nudity and sex. What just ended as Big Brother Naija 2017 was nothing other than the corralling of some human beings into a zoo, pressured to behave like nothing but animals. The organizers made money devaluing other human beings. Multichoice and Payporte, the sponsors, turned alcohol and pornography into legitimate sport.
TBOSS and the other girls kissed and got groped by the boys on live television putting their upbringing to shame. TBOSS, who claimed she didn’t need the money even exposed her breasts on live television more than once. I have seen better breasts TBOSS. I am not too sure those private jet owners will be excited by your fluffy, South-looking, slightly bigger than mangoes breasts. If the same men see bigger assets, I mean, those interesting Ojiakor-like ones that look like papayas, pineapples and watermelons, they will not send private jets, they will deploy submarines and fighter jets! And that ‘s why you got N500k in the end, way back behind Bisola with her hard facial features, and Efe whose victory is based on poverty logistics and appeal. But I have no doubt that TBOSS will end up doing better in the larger, outside market than the other finalists, because even those who did not vote for her, know in their hearts that she represents the message of the programme.
It is a wrong message and that is why Big Brother Naija drew more audience in Southern Nigeria than in the North. In the last week of the programme,, every town in Southern Nigeria was seized by the #BBNaija fever. Prayers were offered in churches for Efe. One lady threatened to commit suicide if Efe did not win. Another one said she would not stop crying until Efe won. Nollywood stars declared support for housemates. There was Team Bisola, Team Efe, EfeNation, TBOSSNation, TeamDebbieRise (small), TeamMarvis (even smaller). There were public processions even in universities. We were told how to vote. Twitter was on fire. What I saw was nothing but sheer madness. T-shirts were printed. One musician turned his personal car into a billboard. Nigeria became a mad house because of one reality television show. It looked like mass hypnotism at work.
But it should not be allowed to happen again. BBNaija should not be hosted and staged in South Africa as has been the case. Multichoice, Payporte and their partners made crazy money and got brand promotion off the back and sweat of Nigerians. Do the maths; we got peanuts in return. We were told BBNaija could not be staged in Nigeria due to electricity problems so the studio had to be in South Africa. And the Nigerian government looked the other way. Wawu! All the billions that the South Africans are running away with, after giving our boy a Kia SUV and some N25m, who is going to collect the Value Added Tax on that? Nigeria or South Africa? See the real Gobbe! All the staff who worked on the programme with extremely marginal exception were South Africans. Where were the Nigerians? Abi, Lobatan oh.
The Nigerian government must assert itself. Nobody henceforth must brand anything involving primary production, Nigerian off Nigerian soil. We can’t get far by wearing made-in-Nigerian clothes on Mondays and Wednesdays, turning the country into an extension of Nollywood, but we can gain a lot by insisting that economic production and profit based on Nigerian talent and resource must have significant Nigerian content.
Congratulations Efe; the grace of God is forever sufficient, but sorry Nigeria.
Aliko Dangote at 60
Alhaji Aliko Dangote is 60 and understandably the entire country is busy paying tributes. He is the richest man in Africa, but more than that he is one of the most successful, forward-looking and resourceful entrepreneurs in the entire continent. He has investments and connections virtually everywhere.
I think a special remark should be made about his less known attribute – his humility and humanity. Aliko Dangote, for all those who have related with him closely, is a very humble man. His life is not driven by money, but belief in hardwork and the impact that he is able to make. He is helpful, supportive and kind, always believing he can make a difference. I offer a special testimony.
Many years ago, before the Abuja job, I used to visit Aliko at home, sometimes on my own and sometimes with my family. On one occasion, he gave my first son money as he saw us off to the door. It was that kind of money that caused a fight between father and son. My son wanted to hold on to it, and there I was insisting the boy must hand over the money because it was enough to pay his and his sibling’s school fees. The innocent boy said the money was for him. How could it have been for him? We resolved the fight, big fight, right there, with Aliko pretending not to notice.
On another occasion, Aliko asked if I had built a house and I told him I was building a house somewhere in Ajah. This was in 2006. He said we should go there. He jumped into my miserable Tokunbo car and followed me to the uncompleted building. He walked round the building and asked me what I wanted. He ended up giving me enough cement to complete the house and the money to paint it. He told me I should contact him if I wanted to build any other house, but after that other house, I stopped bothering him, because it was obvious the bricklayers knew cement was free, and they were busy taking advantage.
I went to Abuja to work. The true story of that job is best told by Aliko Dangote, Mr Alex Ibru, Rotimi Amaechi, Femi Otedola and Ojogbane Adegbe. They supported me as best as they could without interference. It was Oronto Douglas who made the phone call. One day, every story will be told. Thank you Alhaji, for being a friend and a brother. Thank you. May you see many more seasons.
Opinion: Dino Melaye: The making of a brand | By: Reuben Abati
It is a sign of the times, and a tragedy that the most popular Senator in the Nigerian National Assembly at this moment is not the person who has moved the most impactful motion, not a lawmaker who has proposed a thought-provoking bill, and certainly not any Senator who has given any impressive speech debating a matter of national importance. What we get, most of the time, in place of legislative responsibility, prudence, accountability and distinction is burlesque, farce, Japanese-styled Bungaku-Bunraku enactments, a dose of medieval commedia d’ell arte and an enormous supply of Yoruba Alarinjo with a bit of the Akata from Efik and Ibibioland. And the star in this comedy of errors that the Nigerian National Assembly has become is a gentleman called Dino Melaye. He is the perfect archetype of all that is wrong or right with the Nigerian legislature, a fine representation of contradictory binaries, and a lesson unto the rest of us.
I am not condemning Dino Melaye. I am in fact just about to say that we created a man like him, just as before him, we needed a Busari Adelakun, and a Lamidi Adedibu to show us the true character of Nigerian politics. And to those who think Dino Melaye is something of an aberration, I say to them that Dino Melaye is indeed a true picture of Nigerian politics. He is much smarter and far more politically savvy than those who condemn him.
His Wikipedia profile announces that his ambition is to be Nigeria’s President someday, may be he won’t become President, but he may suddenly show up in the future as something close to that high office. He is far more Nigerian than those who criticize or condemn him. He knows the system. He plays the system. He has the capacity to beat the system. Most people who get to the top in Nigeria beat the system, and when they do so, they flaunt their smartness in the people’s face. The pundits write their articles but nothing changes, because a man like Dino Melaye can get a whole Vice Chancellor of a University created under the Act to do his bidding, and a National Assembly to queue up behind him.
I read one piece in which the writer was wondering how on earth we ended up with a Dino Melaye in the National Assembly: A man like that whose brand raises too many questions. His school certificate result is not exactly impressive. His year of graduation from Ahmadu Bello University has been controversial, even with the sitting Vice Chancellor’s needless testimony. Nobody is sure whether a BA or a BSc is the appropriate description of a degree in Geography.
Dino’s name is allegedly missing in the University’s Graduation Year Brochure, an omission that nobody has been able to explain. There is an NYSC group photograph but he is just about the only person not properly dressed. Former classmates have confirmed that he was actually a university student and that he graduated, and the Vice Chancellor says he got a Third Class. Third Class!
I have never seen any student so proud of a Third Class like Dino Melaye. To celebrate his Third Class he wore to the National Assembly, a Doctoral candidate’s gown, and thus insulted the entire academic establishment. I have a Ph.D gown and the full robes of the Nigerian Academy of Letters, but no form of temporary insanity will make me wear either of both robes to a wedding party. Dino Melaye is a Nigerian Senator; nobody should be surprised if one of these days he wears his distinguished borrowed robes to a funeral just to convince everyone that he has a university degree.
No serious person advertises a Third Class degree, but Dino Melaye says on top of that, he has acquired six additional degrees, including certificates from Harvard and the London School of Economics! The lesson from this is that the certificates of everyone who aspires to lead Nigeria at any level must be carefully verified henceforth. Only God knows how many persons at the highest levels in Nigeria are parading certificates and qualifications that should form the subject of scrutiny. A nation that is led by the least educated and the most ignorant of its population is definitely in trouble.
In the United States, a man like Dino Melaye would probably never win an election. His former wife, Tokunbo accused him of battery and domestic violence and showed pictures to prove her point. Her short-lived successor made similar claims, spent six months and fled. There was another lady, one of those man-eating Nollywood girls who entertained us with her misery and the story of a child and DNA tests. If the wives and the baby mamas were wrong, Dino Melaye soon had a tiff with Senator Remi Tinubu and what he said about her menopausal status, we don’t have to repeat. He even went to the front of Remi Tinubu’s house in Lagos to pose for a photograph, daring her husband to do his worst. Senator Tinubu’s husband, the Jagaban of Borgu, Asiwaju of Lagos, former Governor of Lagos and national leader of the APC knew better. The last time Dino Melaye got into a duel, he came out of it with torn clothes, which he proudly advertised.
Dino Melaye poses as an anti-corruption crusader. He rides some of the most exotic cars in Nigeria, all labeled Dino 1 to 5 or whatever. He is loud, flamboyant, and unconventional. He can talk, which means he is articulate, he is fearless, he is also fiercely and stubbornly loyal to the incumbent Senate President Bukola Saraki. He can sing. He can dance. He obviously has no respect for women because he is a macho-man, an alpha male. He can also fight, and he considers journalists the scum of the earth.
That is why when Omoyele Sowore of Sahara Reporters digs into his past and qualifications, his immediate response is to say that he is being stalked and to go after the investigative journalist with everything that he can deploy. Melaye was elected as a Senator to make laws for good governance, but he has been busy acting like he is an awada kerikeri actor on loan to the National Assembly.
I am not condemning him. He won an election. In fact he has won many elections. The people who voted for him must see something in him. The man who represented Kogi West before him used to make useful contributions that made the headlines, he was respected for his informed interventions; there was never a time he wore torn clothes to the Red Chamber, but the people voted him out and elected Dino Melaye and since he started ruffling things up, nobody who voted for him has questioned him. You actually get the impression that Melaye is considered a hero in his Kogi West constituency. This should explain why he enjoys being the drama king of the National Assembly.
To politicians of his type, every kind of publicity is good publicity. It is better to be heard and known, for whatever reason, than to be unknown and unsung. In Melaye’s mind, he is obviously having fun. The kerfuffle over his academic qualification is probably as far as he is concerned, a joke, because afterall, he doesn’t need more than a secondary school certificate to be a member of the National Assembly. When we write about him, discuss his politics, interview him, project him in the media, we are actually promoting his politics and brand.
His kind of brand works in Nigeria. What was the value of Busari Adelakun’s politics or that of Lamidi Adedibu? But both men ended up being more prominent in their constituencies than other politicians of their time. Lamidi Adedibu, the exponent of Amala politics, was so powerful, when a certain Governor refused to pay him Godfather-rent, he got him removed from office and as they say, nothing happened. Adedibu derived his power from being close and loyal to a bigger man of power. He could sing too. And he could dance. And that is perhaps why Dino Melaye should be taken seriously when he breaks out into a song:
A je kun iya ni o je
A je kun iya ni o je
E ni ti o to ni na, to n dena de ni
A je kun iya ni oje
That song is now top of the charts in Nigeria today, with a remix and multiple parodies by other public figures. The only man who is probably yet to learn that song is Senator Ali Ndume, but it is a song that speaks to him directly and accounts for his six-month suspension from the Senate. It is also a song about power and dictatorship. There is nothing in it about values or fairness, or justice. It is a might-is-right composition, about the mighty punishing and oppressing the powerless. “A je kun iya” emphasizes the severity of punishment, “eni ti o to ni na” underscores the imbalance of weight, and the lack of equality in strength. It is a song of intimidation, threat and abuse, completely arrogant in tone and sense.
Dino Melaye knows how to taunt his critics. I visited his website: dinomelaye.com. There are nice photographs and links to other sites including his Facebook page, projecting him as a courageous and outspoken anti-corruption crusader and a political activist. We do not find any information about the bills and motions that he sponsored, or projects that he has embarked upon, or his relationship with his Kogi West Constituency. This may be an oversight on the part of those who manage the site for him, but their omission is perhaps in order, since Dino Melaye is better known for the drama that he creates.
His Wikipedia profile offers nothing more impressive other than the notably juicy details about his marital life, his threat to “beat and impregnate another man’s wife”, and his monumental contribution to legislative debate about how Nigerian men should stop “importing” wives from foreign countries. To this should be added his promotion of the “aje kun iya” folk song into a quasi-national anthem. Elsewhere, a lawmaker’s profile online would refer to his or her electoral history, committee assignments and ideological positions on key national issues. What constitutes a lawmaker’s brand is what he stands for and how well he has served the people.
Dino Melaye’s brand is peculiar: he can sing, dance, fight and speak out loud. He is an artful master of form. But what exactly does he stand for? What is his position on national security, healthcare, federalism, social security or agriculture? I don’t know. But I won’t condemn him, because he is a well-made product of Nigerian politics. It is after all, difficult to know what most contemporary Nigerian politicians stand for. He is in addition, probably much better than half of the National Assembly. He is more attentive at least than all those other Senators who don’t attend plenary, certainly better than those who have spent more time there dozing off, or the ones who have spent years in that Assembly and have never uttered a word, or sponsored a bill, support a motion or do anything of note. The pity is that many of such are now running up and down, seeking to become Governors in their states in 2019. So, why won’t Dino Melaye nurse the ambition of becoming President someday? A je kun iya ni o je…
Opinion: The story of Dino of ABU |By: Azu Ishiekwene
We’re in trouble, but that’s not the worst part. The real tragedy is that we don’t know that we don’t know. It took one week and a Senate summons for the Vice Chancellor of Ahmadu Bello University (ABU), Professor Ibrahim Garba, to say that Senator Dino Melaye graduated from ABU.
And even then, his testimony left more questions than answers. In response to repeated press enquiries, ABU had promised to take a public position on Wednesday. But for reasons that can only damage the school’s reputation, it made a U-turn, saying it would not make any comment until invited to do so by the Senate Ethics Committee. When Sahara Reporters sent the same enquiry to Harvard University and the London School of Economics, some clerks at the registry responded without dragging any vice chancellor into the matter.
But see the mess we have here – a vice chancellor having sleepless nights over the results of a student who claimed to have graduated less than two decades ago. The lack of transparency in ABU’s handling of the matter creates the impression that the school has something to hide. The vice chancellor chose the easy way out, as I suspect a number of vice chancellors in the country today would do. The records in ABU and elsewhere are in such an appalling state that even if this certificate saga involved a 2016 graduate, ABU might still not be able to say for sure if the graduate was genuine or fake. Until schools and other public institutions begin to take record-keeping seriously, this sort of nonsense will continue. If Professor Garba chose to err on the side of caution – either to fend off any further scrutiny from the press or to avoid any legal battle with Melaye’s army of lawyers – he can be sure that his nightmare is not over yet. Since the matter is in court, he will, at some stage, mount the witness box to explain exactly which Melaye’s result he testified about in the Senate. And he can be sure that on that day, Aje kun iya (Melaye’s latest theme song) will not playing in the background.
Melaye’s convocation gown is not big enough to conceal the lingering doubts about his certificate. If he lied about Harvard and LSE, it’s difficult to believe him about any of his academic qualifications. I’ve heard people say, ‘Come on, what’s the big deal about a higher degree; he doesn’t need it to be eligible as senator.’ That is correct. But if he lied about what he didn’t need, why should we trust him on the important matters?
The Senate of controversy
It’s interesting that while the Senate Ethics Committee decided to summon the ABU vice chancellor to testify on Melaye’s degree, the committee took his word about his O/Level result as holy grail. PUNCH had reported that he had only three credits and was therefore ineligible for a university admission in the first place. Melaye denied the PUNCH report and instead, “tendered” a result showing five credit passes and one ‘A’ as his result. It would be interesting to hear what WAEC has to say. That’s not all. Questions have also been raised about Melaye’s Master’s degree program. ABU could be the only university in the world where a candidate can secure admission to a Master’s degree program with a Third Class, without first obtaining a post-graduate degree. It’s improbable in a number of day schools. And to compound Melaye’s complicated certificate story, his name was neither in the ABU Year Book nor on the school’s alumni roll.
Yet, as Melaye acquires more degrees, which from his performance this week in the Senate must now include a degree in Theatre Arts possibly from the same ABU, we’ll have to take the vice chancellor’s word for it, at least for now.
We are in trouble and Melaye’s certificate saga is just a symptom. I don’t know of any other place where a lawmaker facing a charge of certificate forgery will celebrate his discharge with a video mocking his “foes” and then stage a dramatic entrance into the lawmaking chamber with an academic gown. No one called him to order. Yet, this was the same chamber that threatened to issue a warrant of arrest against the Comptroller General of Customs, Hameed Ali, for failing to appear in his uniform.
When Itse Sagay said lawmakers were childish and irresponsible, this was precisely the sort of shenanigans he had in mind. And he certainly won’t be the first to say so, even if saying so drives the lawmakers mad. I don’t know of any other place where lawmakers will insist on the execution of Ibrahim Magu who for over one year – and without a letter of appointment – has worked flat out to fight corruption, insisting that they will not do their constitutional duties until they receive his head on a platter. Sure, the executive has not been sterling, with its own share of Melayes creating the image of a hostage government. But is that what Nigerians deserve – a contest of incompetents who are largely members of the same party? We’re in trouble. It’s not a time for celebratory videos. It’s a time to think, to roll up our sleeves and dig ourselves out this hole. Someone from Kogi West should please let the Melaye Band know that there’s nothing funny about our present dilemma. Nothing.
Source
The Appalling State of Nigerian Airports |By: Tony Ogunlowo
From the 8th of March the Nnamdi Azikwe International airport, in Abuja, Nigeria’s second busiest airport will close for approximately six weeks for repairs. It is to enable the authorities carry out essential maintenance work on the facilities and pot-holed runway. Julius Berger, contracted to do the job, are ready and have promised to have it ready in time.
As an alternative all flights are being re-routed to Kaduna, a small regional airport, about two hundred kilometres away. To try and minimize disruption the government is providing free shuttle buses to and fro with armed police presence along the way as notorious armed robbers and kidnappers are known to prowl the route.
There are currently twenty-six airports in the country ranging from small regional ones to the much bigger international ones such as MMIA in Lagos. Under the auspices of the Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) a great many of these airports have been allowed to fall into a state of disrepair over the years. It’s not uncommon for these airports to have uncompleted structures, gaping holes in their runways, non-existent sanitary and passenger facilities, constant power failure and security issues. Some airports, like the one in Port Harcourt, are just glorified ramshackle motor parks complete with agberos and other unsavoury characters. Like with most other things in Nigeria there is a lack of constant maintenance. You can’t just close an international airport for six weeks to repair it, maintenance and refurbishment should be an ongoing concern 24/7, 365 days a year. Can you imagine the uproar if Heathrow airport in London or JFK in New York had to close for six weeks? Millions of passengers pass through these terminals every year, not to talk of freight. They don’t even close on Christmas day and they have a dedicated maintenance team that keeps the facilities and runways up to scratch round the clock.
But not in Nigeria, Lagos MMIA and Abuja airports are amongst the worst 10 airports in Africa and the disgrace-of-an-airport in Port Harcourt has been voted the world’s worst one.
You can’t just build an airport and forget about it, expecting it to self-repair itself when the need arises. The FAAN and successive governments have shown a total disregard for the upkeep of the airports. Many airports have uncompleted and abandoned structures, such as Yakubu Gowon or Port Harcourt airports, due to lack of adequate funds to complete the projects( – which could have been allocated and subsequently pilfered ?) putting both planes and passengers at great risk. Pilots are forever complaining about having to negotiate pot-holes on runways and in December 2013 a Saudi Arabian cargo plane damaged its undercarriage landing on a runway in Abuja.
All this is in addition to frequent power cuts which have seen not-so-friendly staff trying to get people on to flights using flashlights. The lack of power also affects navigational aids which are crucial to planes taking off and landing – and that’s if the landing aids are installed in the first place! There’s even been a case where passengers have been forced to use a step ladder to disembark from a plane because portable stairs were not available! Imagine some airports, in the 21st century, still using tents as check-in halls? Disgraceful!
On a rather embarrassing note whenever there is harmattan or bad weather over Lagos MMIA flights are diverted to Cotonu, next door, because they have better facilities and navigational aids – and the power doesn’t go! Better facilities, better runway, better navigational aids because the government of a miniscule country called Republic of Benin know the importance of maintaining an airport. In Nigeria, however, more important is the allocation of funds from the budget for the maintenance of the airport which will subsequently disappear into someone’s bank account and no work will be done.
Even the security around the airports is laughable: herders are known to take their cattle to graze on the grassy fields in between runways and armed robbers sometimes try to hijack planes taxiing.
Over fifteen million passengers use Nigerian airports every year and all these people expect these gateways into the country to be pleasant, well-maintained and safe. Using an airport in Nigeria is like catching a bus at the Mile Two bus stop with its non-existent shelters, area boys and agberos ready to prance on you, pot-holed dusty roads and that’s not to talk about the buses themselves which are death-traps on wheels.
The first impression anyone gets when visiting a new country is when they disembark at the airport. And if your airport is full of bolekaja personnel, appalling facilities and services and uncompleted buildings with bandits and herders roaming freely around you are not painting a positive picture of the country. No wonder Nigerian airports are bottom of the list on most travel websites.
Tony blogs at http://www.archangel641. blogspot.co.uk
A Vacation and the Orphaned Country~ By: Wole Aguda
6 days after President Muhammadu Buhari arrived the UK for his extended vacation, a big announcement was made at Harvard – they had acquired unprecedented knowledge of how to convert Hydrogen (a gas) to metal. This might be passing information for multiple Olodos like my humble self on social media but those who possess a little orientation in the sciences know what long term impacts this discovery could have for human living. Back home in Nigeria, the media was festering in a different world while dealing with rumours of an ailing president who, by some accounts was hurriedly rushed to the UK for urgent medical attention. The whispers began and as expected (Nigerian style), our attention as a people had been won to a new subject. While citizens of the developed world analyzed the prospects of a bright future for their next 20 generations via Hydrogen conversion to metal and which will likely be an export item to Africa. We set up e-courts for debates and in some cases rings for electronic defenders of politicians. In Nigeria, we were about the news and not scientific discoveries or waves that could expand our equity or stake in the African continent. Nigeria was not about Nigeria.
After about 50 days in the United Kingdom for an extended vacation, President Buhari this morning landed at the Kaduna Airport and about now should be at the presidential villa. The 50 days have however not been ordinary ones. Nigerians had their dose of melodrama scripted across different divides. The rumour mills grounded at deafening decibels about a president who had passed away and who was in a vegetative state. They were roundly addressed however by the presidential spokesman who transmitted information that suggested that the president in a message to these Nigerians referred to them as “mischief makers” Let me quote him for effect: “Thank you for holding out against mischief makers” Mr. Femi Adesina reported as being the words of Mr. President. While this was ongoing, researchers at the National Health Institute, US, discovered a new molecular mechanism that might be the cause of severe premenstrual syndrome known as PMDD. This led them to a new discovery – they could alter estrogen and progesterone in test subjects and the result? The disappearance of severe symptoms. Our ladies across Nigeria will soon become customers of this wonder discovery which was made while Wailers denigrated the Presidency and “Sai Baba” sycophants farted nonsensical achievements from begrudged anuses to Nigerians. Nigerians were not about Nigeria.
In expected democratic practice, Professor Yemi Osinbajo mounted the saddle as President. Perceived by some to be a more pragmatic leader, his style effused energy and a keenness that promoted a sense of urgency that endeared him to not a few Nigerians. In what was a coincidence of progress, or not, the Naira strengthened against the dollar in what has now become the flagship of his 50 days on the throne. Nigerians of course again swerved the drama. “Mischief makers” did not want a return of Buhari as it seemed that the freshness of interventions from Osinbajo struck the right chords in the far south of Nigeria. The conflict was shared between supporters of President Buhari who, in my opinion, correctly promoted the notion of a united presidency and thus discarding willful suggestions of disparity in the presidency. While this raged, a French Neuroscientist concluded experiments that demonstrated that humankind could now reverse paralysis through implants of electrodes in the human brain – talk about gains for humanity! So while we are about ourselves, the world is about the world, because they seem to own it and have more stake in its development. We have politicians to worship here! Nigeria, the country again was thrown under the bus. We are a nation about personalities.
This brings me to the worrisome observation that prompts this piece. Do we really care about Nigeria the country like we care for the personalities that we elect? While persuasive passions ran over social media for or against a Buhari, I saw a nation bleeding and begging for attention. We have killed allegiance to the Nigerian dream and have slaughtered our nationalism on a slate of partisanship. Who do we think suffers at the end of the day? Energy has been devoted to undermining the presidency in veiled strategies related to 2019. The people now seem to be made for elections rather than election being tools in their hands to achieve positive change. Even when what we have had for the last two years is nothing short of suicidal economics, many are more interested in Buhari or the North completing two tenures with no prioritization of the fatherland as prime. While the nation is just recovering from a highly organized heist that spanned 30 years of our nationhood, we are already rooting for a return of the same political criminals that put us in this mess in the first place. We are no longer about Nigeria and that in itself is a sad commentary on the evolved fragmentation of the Nigerian people.
How President Trump’s Turbulent 30 Days in Office May Lead To His Impeachment |By: Tony Ogunlowo
Every new President in the United States spends his first month in office getting to know and thank the people who elected him into office, talking (politely) to fellow world leaders, selecting his executive team, using the media to get his message out and starts to implement his election campaign policies.
But not President Trump….
In less than 30 days as the President he’s managed to upset nearly everyone in the world – the Chinese, Russians, Mexicans, Iranians, Muslims – he even put the phone down on the Australian Prime Minister!
Unique and unlike any other American President before him he’s an egomaniac, bully and misogynist and not to talk of him being crass; he makes ex-President bush look clever. He sees himself as an Emperor and if care isn’t taken to curb him he has all the makings of a wannabe dictator. I mean what kind of President demeans himself by acting like a juvenile delinquent, on steroids, tweeting his every dissatisfaction on Twitter and having spats with people? Hasn’t he heard of a thing(s) called decency, conduct and protocol? Obviously not!
Breaking with protocol and in a rare display of nepotism, never before seen in American politics, Mr Trump has populated his inner circle with family and cronies – with his daughter, Ivanka, standing in as First Lady In Waiting( – is the real First Lady, Melania, on vacation?)
His election promise to get Muslims from seven countries banned from entering the United States has been overturned by judges who have deemed it unconstitutional and discriminating. He’s still going to build his Mexican wall but now realises America will have to pay for it. He is even reported to be considering the use of more than a force of 100, 000 national guards to hunt down illegal immigrants.
His erratic behaviour is causing a major concern amongst world leaders who are not sure what he’s going to next. This is the man who has got his finger firmly on the nuclear button forcing Russia to step up its game in readiness for an all-out nuclear war should Trump flip.
Already he’s fired all foreign US ambassadors, fired sally Yates, acting US attorney-general, for opposing his US-ban on Muslims policy. He’s fired six of his White House staff after they failed FBI background checks. Michael Flynn, his top national security official, quit in the wake of secret contacts with Russian spies during his election campaign and the White House is in total disarray.
He’s constantly battling the press, singling out CNN and The Post as his arch-enemies claiming they only publish ‘fake news’ all the time ( – especially when things don’t go his way!).
His reluctant First lady ,Melania, is holed up in Trump Tower in New York most of the time and doesn’t want to seem to come out and leading politicians reckon he needs a psychiatrist on stand-by 24/7 as he’s mentally unstable and could suffer a meltdown.
Also, because he’s a billionaire his business interests conflict with his official duties as President. He claims he has signed over all his business interests over to his sons, who now run his empire, but everybody knows he’s still the power behind the throne. Where will he find the time to run the country?
There have been widespread demonstrations, worldwide, protesting against his stand on Muslim immigrants and travel and his treatment of women.
Finally on the 16th of February he gave a surprise 90 minute press conference claiming he had achieved more in his first few weeks than any of his predecessors saying ‘the White House is running like a fine-tuned machine’, while at the same time taking a swipe at the New York Times and CNN (again!) over his campaign aides links with Russia.
Running a country, the size of America, is not the same as running a business empire or a TV reality programme and the incumbent will have to learn to follow protocol and listen to the wishes of the people who elected him in the first place. At a time when there is a lot of turmoil in the world, America needs a clear headed President to head the world’s most powerful nation something Donald Trump clearly isn’t.
If in the space of less than a month he has managed to alienate himself from the people he’s supposed to lead there’s no saying what he’ll do if he’s allowed to complete his four year tenure. Knowing the Americans they’ll probably impeach him before then or…..
Tony blogs at http://www.archangel641.blogspot.co.uk
I want to go to London… to see Buhari | By: Reuben Abati
When 15 million plus Nigerians voted for President Muhammadu Buhari in the 2015 General elections, their expectation was that he would be available to serve them 24/7/365, and that those who fielded him as their candidate had done their homework to avoid what is curiously becoming the Katsina problem in Nigerian politics. Katsina! But we have now found ourselves in a situation whereby our President is now in London, for more than one month sir, ma, and we are here, and we have an acting President, who according to everybody, including the extremists and the mischievous, and the politically partisan, is beginning to try his best, with his admirers, now praying for the worst.
For that reason alone, we have an emotionally, politically and spiritually divided country on our hands. Don’t mind what they tell you, and don’t deceive yourself, the Nigerian Presidency is in turmoil. It is not our wish. It is not what the voters asked for. But that is how democracy works. You cannot predict the results that democracy produces. Not even in America. Or Russia.
Now that we have found ourselves in this situation, anyway – an absentee President trying to remain relevant and an acting President struggling to put up appearances, and struggling harder not to be seen to be ambitious (sorry, Prof. I was your student but I have something to say sir, I don’t mean any harm – truth be told), where should the Nigerian people stand? For the past one month, we have all been trapped in a post-truth situation, pretending as if all is normal. We should stop pretending.
Those who supported and are supporting the APC that brought President Muhammadu Buhari to power and office cannot talk. They cannot talk due to embarrassment and shame. They are busy putting up a face. But for how long can they do this? The Nigerian media is also on its knees, looking so pitiable, with the exception of a few blogs, newspapers that we can’t even trust, professional media consultants who are in disarray, a few bloggers and then some gentlemen: Pa Ikhide, Farooq Kperogi, Sonala Olumhense, Omoyele Sowore, Pius Adesanmi and Okey Ndibe who have since been specially illuminated as they journeyed to Damascus.
I will return to this subject some other day. But I think right now, we should begin to take the subject of the absence of President Muhammadu Buhari more seriously. Bukola Saraki, our Senate President has visited him in London, twice, within two weeks. I don’t think we should leave this business of visiting the President to party chieftains, the executive and the Federal Legislature. If care is not taken, Senator Saraki may be tempted to visit the President again next week. And the week after and he may even be tempted to travel with all the members of the National Assembly. There must be equity in this matter.
Figure it out as follows: we all know that President Buhari is now in London and he is the man Nigerians chose as their President in 2015. We cannot forsake him. He is in London on working leave, for more than one month now, and we don’t know when that leave will end. We have been told it will end soon. Later. One day. Whenever. We are not God. Let the leave end when it will. But we, the people, have a duty to stand by our President. This is the point of this article. We are Africans. We have traditions. We respect elders. We don’t joke with old age. The time has come, right now, for Nigerians to behave like Africans.
We should therefore, not leave this business of visiting to Senator Busola Saraki alone. Party chieftains have visited Mr. President. The leadership of the National Assembly has also gone to London to be part of President Buhari’s working leave. I think Vice-President-Acting-President Yemi Osinbajo should also visit his boss, this week, next week, or ASAP. Henceforth, he should be in London at least once a week. Let us stop pretending that the President is not in charge. He is. If Aso Villa is now in London, let us make it work. The Acting President and the real President need quality face time. If the acting President must go to London everyday, let him do so, but don’t let us run Nigeria by telephone or DHL Am I making sense? I am not talking about common sense. I mean real sense. So, do I make any sense at all?
After the Acting President’s visit, all former Presidents should also start going to London to see the President. Those former Presidents are not as harmless as they pretend to be. They are projected to the public as advisers but they are more than that: they all left something in Aso Villa that makes them eternally powerful. It is like leaving your DNA in a woman’s body. They should be allowed or perhaps encouraged to visit President Buhari while he is on working leave. I think our Baba in Abeokuta, Ota and Ibogun should be the first to visit. That may negate the order of seniority, but trust the Ebora Owu to return from London with front-page news! After him, the others can start visiting and probably advise on the possibility of holding a Council of State meeting in London. As it were, the Nigerian Constitution does not insist that the Council of State Meeting must be held inside Nigeria. The main subject of that first historic, diaspora, Council of State Meeting should be phrased by OBJ in his own unique way: “Momodu: are you well or sick?”
There is something called the separation of powers. I don’t want to disrespect mi’lords but I think they too should go to London. The National Judicial Council (NJC) should put together a high-powered delegation of judges from every part of the country, from all divisions, and level, to proceed post-haste to London to visit, no, to confer with President Buhari on matters of judicial interest to the nation. But Sirs, don’t go there and talk about the welfare of judges, or the non-payment of your entitlements – if you try that, well, I won’t be in a position to tell you what awaits you on your return. You know mi’lords, as well as I do, that the law in Nigeria is now being made to look truly like an ass!
After the judges, okay may be the Nigerian Bar Association should also send a delegation, but I don’t trust many of our lawyers. They think they know the law, and they could go to London and say things that will disrupt the President’s working leave. To make that impossible, members of the NBA should be booked on an Arik flight to London, please. But if they get there, fine. The next delegation should be that of Permanent Secretaries. These ones should spend more than a week in London with the President. In fact, they can stay with him till he returns. If they also have medical issues, they should use the opportunity to ask for tests, with the condition that they must return immediately the President leaves London, notwithstanding the status of their own medical tests!
Once the Permanent Secretaries have been fully accommodated in London, the Ministers, those who were once dismissed by their own employer as “noise-makers”, and who have proven to be no better, should also visit London. They can go ahead and make as much noise as they wish in London and even enjoy the benefit of a full Federal Executive Council Meeting. I suspect that this will be a particularly productive FEC meeting. If the people in the Foreign Affairs Ministry know what they are doing, however, they would arrange ahead of that meeting in London, a special meeting with Theresa May, Prime Minister of Great Britain, followed by a dinner with Her Majesty the Queen of England, with a proviso, please, please, please, that nobody should bring up the issue of Biafra or Southern Kaduna after shaking the Queen’s hand, and there should be a strict guarantee that President Buhari will be accompanied by his extremely beautiful wife, Aisha, and he will not, meeting the Queen, no matter how excited, make the mistake of referring to “za oza room”.
Stop laughing, my friend; this is how you people cause problems for innocent writers. What I am now trying to add having made all these points above, is that the Governors’ Forum should also visit President Buhari in London. The Governors have already signified their intention to do so and that seems to be fine with the Nigerian public. The Governors should therefore appoint representatives who should proceed to London. When they meet with the President, they should hold a special prayer session with three prayer points: one, that President Buhari will not work for another person to come and eat; two: that the demons of Aso Rock will spare and forgive him and his family; three: that President Buhari will return to Nigeria with his two feet. The Governor to lead the prayer should be Peter Ayo Fayose of Ekiti State.
If he starts sounding as he has been sounding in recent times, Nasir el-Rufai should be asked to take the microphone from him. And if Nasir sounds like he is playing politics, as he has been doing, Adams Oshiomhole who will like to be there anyway, as a Governor ex-officio, should be given the microphone and asked to pray for the President as best as he can or as best as Trotsky could.
I have left out some people. In the past month, some Imams and ulamas and concerned relatives have been reported in the media, holding prayer sessions for a hale and hearty President who is just in London to enjoy the weather and do some quality check-ups, private and public. These prayer warriors have prayed and prayed in Abuja, Daura, Borno and everywhere else. The matter is so serious that nobody should be surprised if Rochas Okorocha or James Ibori organizes a prayer session for Muhammadu Buhari. This is the biggest business in Nigeria at this moment.
I think, therefore, that we should also encourage the ulamas and the imams to visit. Let them go to London and pray for their President. We have been told they have been sending prayers through skype, whatsapp and the air, the same channels that GSM service providers in Nigeria now want to block. Let the imams go to London then and let the verses of the Holy Quoran rain down. It will be unfair not to allow Christian leaders to go to London too. They are also anxious to go to London. Pastor Tunde Bakare, my beloved, secondary school senior should lead that team. His job should be to screen out any Pastor with Biafra, or Southern Kaduna or pro-PDP blood in him or her. I mean Pastors like Reno Omokri, Ebun Adegboruwa…. you get what I am saying? The prayer should be commissioned!
Traditional rulers, bloggers, public intellectuals, trolls, and journalists! Oh, I almost forgot. I think we should also be invited to London to have tea with the President. I volunteer to lead that team but if I am considered unpopular, since they say I am not one of them, let @ikhide, @akaebube, or @dejiadeyanju, @realFFK, or @YeleSowore, be the team leader. But please, make sure we have on that list, @lindaikeji, @SDimokoKORKUS, @emepretty1, @bellanaija, @omojuwa, @ChiomaChuka, @AbangMercy, @toyeenb, @MrStanleyNwabia and… and… My friend, STFU! I am not planning a special episode of #bbnaija. I just want to go to London and see …my President.