Opinion

Entertainment, Opinion

Ifeanyi Uba Please Keep Your Fuel | By: Joseph Edgar

Look, me and some very reasonable people are not being carried away by this Andy UBA’s hemlock. His decision to release 13 million liters of fuel is nothing but crass betrayal and a childish attempt at populism in the face of imminent disgrace by the incoming government.
We are tired of this kind of symbolism, this is what has put us in this place of global mockery and national helplessness. How many filling stations does Uba have, what is the national fuel usage, he releases 15 days worth of fuel to the Nation and after that what next, we are still faced with the same issues that led to the strike in the first place.
Has he resolved his wahala with AMCON? Has he cleared himself of the fuel subsidy mess? Has he paid back Coscharis and other investors he has been owing. Abeg he is part of this problem and should go sit down with the union to engage government in a bid to finding lasting solution to the issue of subsidy and fuel supply in the country.
What Uba is doing can lead to the inevitable destruction of the country. If unions decide to go on strike to bring to the fore the underlying and covered up issues of corruption, back handling, favoritism that has bedeviled not only the subsidy regiment but the whole gamut of the demystification of the petroleum industry and one person decides to break ranks and moves fuel, he should be arrested because he knows that by the time the country is on complete lockdown all the underground schemes would come up in the open.
To me, Uba’s move is aimed at scuttling the cleansing process this strike would have thrown up. He wants us to continue to be held to ransom by his ilk hence his decision to break rank so that the strike will collapse. This we must fight. We must reject his poisonous fuel. Let the strike continue. Let companies shut down, let there be no light, let there be no fuel, let schools, hospitals, radio stations all shut down. We are ready for the sacrifice, we will not die if the aim is to clean up the system and throw people like UBA who have held us in contempt by their nefarious activities in the downstream sector into the dustbin.
The incoming Government should immediately engage the unions and assure them of their genuine desire to look critically into all the issues with a view to bringing lasting solutions to this matter. The outgoing Government have given themselves the last disgrace with this show of shame. They have prefabricated and run into their holes, we no longer are interested in them. Let the probes start, let Uba come out and tell us how he got his 13 million liters.
We are tired. We are tired. I don’t want his fuel. He should go and dump them in the Lagoon.
  
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Entertainment, Opinion

Etcetera writes on how to please a Nigerian man.

Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money syndrome finally caught up with them?
…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time? Hmmm maybe Nigerian men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that the appropriate excuse? Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the right woman in his eyes.
Submission has got a bad rap in recent years. The feminist movement has even made matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18). Men should also know that submission does not mean subjection to abuse. Submission simply implies respect for another’s authority.
Ok sweerie, the premiership ends this weekend. You can now have the remote control from Monday morning. Watch as much telemundo and your Nollywood movies as you can from now till August. Nigerian ladies should understand that the key to a harmonious family life is finding that balance. Your man may not be a professional footballer and probably may not go to the field and play every Saturday, but if you don’t disturb him whenever he is watching his favourite team play on TV, he will love you more.
Remember that by learning to love and support his team, you are creating a deeper bond between the two of you. Be on his side, root for his team, celebrate his victories, mourn his defeats. Even the Bible commands us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15) lol…
Every Nigerian man loves food. I mean the actual food. There’s no such thing as a modern or old fashion way. A way is a way and the only way to a typical African man’s heart has always been through his stomach. Coming home from a long day’s work, we enjoy nothing better than a well cooked meal. Remember the story of Esau in the Bible? He was so hungry and was practically shaking after working in the fields that he was willing to sell his birthright to his brother Jacob for a hot bowl of soup! (Genesis 25:29-34). Ladies, when a Nigerian man is not properly fed, he becomes irrational, irritable and vulnerable to temptation. Feed us well not just for anything else, but so you may have peace in the house…. lol
Now ladies, ask any Nigerian man to choose between a delicious plate of soup and no sex or a tasteless meal and a mind-blowing sex, he will prefer to drink garri without sugar and have that mind-blowing encounter with you in bed. Does that tell you something? Babes, you may be everything from smart, charming with long pretty legs and even God-fearing but if your husband doesn’t find you sexually attractive, SHIKENA. A Nigerian man always wants that thing. So, stop holding back whenever he wants it. Adopt the Boy Scout motto that says “always be prepared.” Stop using your sexuality to manipulate or punish him.
Our greatest vulnerability is our sexuality, so don’t just go there – No games with that please. Give yourself to him freely every time, every way and everywhere. The Bible commands you, “Deprive not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Did you hear that? It says even after fasting, you should still give it to him…. Hmmmmm! I love the Bible. No wonder they call it the “perfect book.”
All men want to be successful. But it is so unfortunate that most Nigerian women measure success by what a man has accomplished aman has accomplished and not by who he is as a person. It is the role of the woman to help her man see the big picture in life, not through the eyes of someone who wants to purchase every latest trend in fashion, mobile phones and cars.
 
The good book of the lord says, “Better is the poor (man) who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich.” (Proverbs 28:6). So, ladies, always let your man know when he is doing a good job. Praise him for his patience with words like, “I really appreciate that you helped me with the dishes today.” “Thanks so much for emptying the dustbin; I appreciate you honey, even in the small things.” Note that a little compliment to a Nigerian man every now and again works like magic.
Nigerian men are driven by the need for significance. We often ask ourselves this question, “Do I really matter to her?” A man’s thirst for significance can only be quenched in knowing how important he is. That is why we will chase after every vain pursuit only to hear the words, “You matter. You are important. You are appreciated. You are significant.” If a man never heard these words or sensed this approval from his woman, he can spend his whole life chasing someone else who will value his identity.
Support your man at every turn. Be there for him to guide him. This is God’s command for you as the woman. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). A man needs help in the small things like finding our car keys or in bigger things like building a business. It has become one of the most popular sayings that “behind every great man is a far greater woman.”
With men, two plus two is always four. We are a straight-jacket mind species. Maybe it is so because we have always found solace in being logical. And it has proved to be a sure way one can maintain stability in the home, especially in times of uncertainty or danger. But it is clear that men most times lack that natural intuitiveness found in women. Which makes it important, that whenever your man is about to strike a business deal, he needs your input because he might not understand that deep gut feeling you have that something is not right.
For a man, if it looks good “on paper,” it is good even when in your heart of hearts, you can smell something foul brewing. Your man needs your intuitive, instinctive, perceptive and discerning insights when making decisions. But as his woman, you should be careful so as not to bruise his ego.
A man is not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics behind the problems that women face. So it is important that the woman doesn’t go running and pouring all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles on him all at once, it can be very overwhelming. If it is your car that is making that funny noise or something in the house is broken, YESSSSS! he knows exactly what to do instantly. Every man requires that extra training to be a good listener and you will have to working at it until he is there.
You can simply start by asking him to listen to you for one minute without interruption and gradually build up his tolerance level. If you throw a fifteen-minute monologue at him, he will freeze up, walk away or get annoyed. Make things simple for him. Spell out exactly what you need, even if it is just a simple hug (and you may want to also explain to him that a hug does not mean you want to have sex!)… because e nor dey hard us to conclude.lol
Every man wants to come home to a peaceful house after a long day at work. But our women don’t always permit such a luxury. We want tranquility and control in every aspect of our lives; that is why we sometimes do everything possible to create an atmosphere of peace and serenity. It is also why every man dreads a nagging woman. A nagging woman drains us of body vitamins and morale.
If you nag your man, he will distance himself emotionally and possibly even physically. The Bible says, “It isbetter to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” (Proverbs 25:24).
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Entertainment, Opinion

Aero Contractors Oshi! | By: Joseph Edgar

Me I had sworn that no matter how badly treated I was by a Nigerian Airline I won’t say anything. I will just be quiet and watch them disgrace themselves. So for years, I have been very silent with the rubbish they have been meting out on not only me but millions of Nigerians who unfortunately have to use them.
From delayed flights, to outright cancellation. From bumpy rides in rickety planes that have seen me peeing on myself and screeming Jesusssssssss, to smelly air hostess with dirty armpits who behave as if they are the best things since slice bread, in all these I have kept my peace and not said anything.
I did not even talk when the whole Arik crew descended on my friend the Amiable Abubakar Tafawa Balewa and beat him silly simply because he asked why his seat was given out, I didn’t whimper o. 
Maybe that is why, today they brought the fight to me. Me, Ajanaku, the Elephant, Aero people try me today. It all started when I got a text last night as usual postponing my morning flight in Abuja from 8.45am to 11.00am.
The fact that I had an 11.0clock appointment that I had been chasing for years did not make me talk, the fact that the client had flown in from America and would be early for the meeting after flying for over 13 hours and me who had just 55minutes to fly would be late did not make me talk. So I took it all in my stride and slept off.
In the morning, I took my time and jumped into traffic and the usual Lagos traffic killed me. I arrived at their counter at exactly 10.30 for the flight and one very dirty Aero staff screamed at me with spittle gushing out of her mouth like a volcano erupting and throwing ash everywhere, ‘ we have closed the counter’ she screamed turning her back and showing me a split in her skirts. I smiled believing that this is NIGERIA and this is Ajanaku that I will surmount this challenge.
I called out at her and in my smoothest Don Jazzy voice, I pleaded for help. She was livid, looked at me sternly and asked if I did not understand English, that it was over and gleefully told me that the next flight was for 5 o’clock in the evening. 
At this time, my cool evaporated and I started begging. I pleaded as if my life depended on it and at this point about 6 of their lowliest paid staff, all with different kinds of body stench descended on me and telling me categorically that I had to leave and come back by 5pm.
I begged and begged and begged all to no avail. I even told them that we all voted APC and that the change had come that they should please temper Justice with mercy. This served to only anger them the more as they immediately started mocking me and laughing at me.
 Guys, the most painful thing in all these, was the fact that they were still checking in other passengers o. Those with huge and plenty luggages where being given VIP treatment while me in all my Gucci Shoes and trousers was left stranded and being advised to either go to another airline the or should start trekking like all these people trekking for Buhari. 
At this point someone in authority strolled in and decided to assist and then I knew what my sin was. He asked them to open the system to see if there was more seats, he stared at the system like the tyrant he was, with the power of life and death. He sent a signal to the Pilot, not to dare move that plane until he decided what to do and after staring at the system for what seemed like an eternity gave judgement, I should be upgraded to first class.
I thanked him and prayed that God should bless his mistress and that his wife will never catch him, but as he was walking away, his leprous colleagues called him back and told him that I had complained about being delayed for four hours on my last trip and as such I did not see any reason why I could not board after just being late for 30 minutes. 
My people, Emperor turned with all the dignity he could muster and gave instant judgement, no more seats and that was final. I stood there looking like a class clown. I could not believe this was happening to me. The circus midgets all immediately burst into imbecilic laughter and stuck out their tongues at me. 
Out of frustration, I left them and went to the medview counter, where the Angels there gave me a seat on their 12 noon flight. I thanked them and paid but decided to go back to Aero counter to vent. My people, I for Kuku just go my way o. Na police dey wait for me o. The goons had called Police for me and you know police, na who first report na him get case. The bleached police man demanded for my phone and asked to go through my picture gallery that I had taken pictures of the Aero staff. 
That’s how the man went through my phone, enjoyed himself with all the – you know the kind picture that will be there na- took his time and decided which ones he will delete and which ones he will keep and in all these the minions where still laughing and still checked people into a flight they had said was full an hour ago. 
I thank God for the NCAA people who came to my assistance. Took me to their office took my complaints and calmed me down. They said they had been receiving series of complaints from harassed and humiliated passengers and will certainly do something this time. 
So my people, Aero used to be my favorite airline, but with this kind of harassment and being treated like a thief I have left them and taken my wahala somewherelse. You can be sure, I will not miss their shitty service, I will not miss their cheap onboard flight, I will not miss the unpredictability of their services, I I’ll not miss their rickety planes, I will not miss having to ‘settle’ their poorly paid and under trained staff and I will certainly won’t have to kneel down and beg to be boarded simply because I mistakenly mentioned that if they could delay me for four hours, they should be a little bit more tolerant with my 30minute lateness, even though the flight was still on ground and checking in was still ongoing. 
As I write, I am headed to the Airport with my heart in my mouth. One of the goons had threatened to cancel my return ticket and that I will never fly Aero. I asked him if his father was Ibru that he should try it. My people maybe I should join the Trekkers. 
Aero Oshi. 
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Article sent in by Joseph Edgar, an Investment Banker who writes as a hobby. He blogs at josephedgarng.blogspot.com
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Entertainment, Opinion

The impending betrayal awaiting General Muhammadu Buhari | By: Olaniyan Olawale


The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
– -Abraham Lincoln
  Most of us by now believe the beautiful ones have been born, only time would tell if this is true or is just a case of the old ugly ones changing their faces to a more attractive one. Most people know I  have always been optimistic, albeit about optimism seems like a joke when you juxtapose it with the situation of the country. 
However, we need to face some realities and not deceive ourselves ourselves under the umbrella of optimism. We would be wondering who or what would dare try to betray the tireless General himself, the one Nigerians voted for and trust would provide profound solutions to the nation’s problem. 
Many of us even wish he can resume office before May 29, his official resumption date. Nigerians want Buhari to come in and perform some abracadabra and you would wonder if it is change or miracle they voted for. Anyway that is as a result of the damage his predecessors have done to the nation. 
Unemployed graduates want Buhari to resume power today and recruit millions the following day, market women want Buhari to come in and read in the dailies that” pump price has now been reduced by 50%”, pensioners want Buhari come in and pay them all their arrears instantly, workers want him to review the minimum wage, corps members want their monthly allowance increased. 
As a matter of fact the demands on the ’emergency’ list for Buhari without any form of hyperbole seems endless. Lest I forget, Nigerians want him to fight corruption as well. The atmosphere the General would be facing from May 29th might not be favourable. 

 Firstly, those that want him to fight corruption might not be ready give up their own part of the act. The citizenry undoubtedly have in one way or the other played their parts in promoting corruption. 
At least, we know how we  adjust metres at filling stations, or shuffle employment and admission list to favour or candidates. This is just a few of numerous ways we the citizens practise corruption at the low level. 
We should be asking ourselves if we are ready to give up all these if Buhari decides to lead the battle against corruption. 

Secondly, the General would certainly need money to run the economy; to finance projects, to pay salaries and many more. 
This might not be the best time for him to consider the drop in oil price at the international market. This is ostensibly as a result of much supply of oil compared to demand at the international market. In economics when supply exceeds demand there would be drop in price of that particular commodity in question. To further escalate the problem in the international oil market, Iran; one of the major exporters of oil in the world has been under economic sancttions for sometime now and reports say these sanctions might be lifted soon. 
This simply implies that the oil they have produced and stored over the years would be going into the international market at an outrageous price of $20 per barrel according to information from Tehran, the nation’s capital. We need no professor of economics to help us deduce that our budget which is usually pegged at oil being sold between $40 and $60 per barrel would be running at a deficit because am quite sure no nation would be so loyal to us that it won’t buy from a seller of $20 per barrel and buy from a $40 per barrel. I doubt it

Agriculture might seem a long term solution in this situation. However, products that are being exported to the international market are perennial crops which means it takes at least three years for it to be harvested for sale after planting. So,if Buhari diversify the economy and he is  so energetic to ensure these crops are planted the day resumes office then we should be talking about about 2018 or beyond before we start exporting. At the moment our foreign reserve is not an option,the outgoing administration has squandered it already, they forgot that one should add to foreign reserve and not take from it, you only take from it during war, econimic crisis or any or other disaster. 
 The worst form of betrayal Buhari might be facing would definitely come from the ruling party that would officially become opposition in few days. At the moment they have accepted defeat with magnanimity, their post election candour has been relatively impressive but we might have to wait till after the transition before we can conclude on how sincere they are, because this change means change of ministers, change of special advisers, replacement of contractors, replacement of ambassadors, replacement of heads of university governing concils and the list goes on. These people would be leaving the realms of powers for the first time and this might not be exteremely easy for them. They would no longer hide under impunity, no more excess security personnel and convoys around them, no more gallivanting around the Arab emirates with public funds. Trust me they would find it difficult to adapt to a lifestyle other than that. Hence, they would do everything possible legal or illegal, moral or immoral within their reach to return to power. 
Ergo, Buhari should be ready for all forms of distraction. The opposition party by then would aggrandize any error that comes out of his leadership. 
This situation is similar to the tale in Chinua Achebe’s “things fall apart”. Where the birds asked Tortoise to join them for a feast they have been invited to. The cunny Tortoise persuaded them to let him bear the name ” all of you” in order to get all the food alone. He succeeded  in doing so and all the birds got angry except for their leader; Parrot who accepted defeat and even agreed to deliver tortoise message to his wife. Tortoise never knew he was been lured to where he would be nailed. Maliciosly,Parrot delivered a wrong message to his wife and tortoise shell got broken. We hope they won’t go to this extent after accepting defeat. 


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Entertainment, Opinion

Opinion: Nobody should celebrate Buhari | By: Etcetera

Why are we dancing? Why do we keep rolling out the drums each time we have a new government, only for us to start crying few months down the line? Is it that we are too quick to forget or we just love to dance? Do you celebrate a child who’s about to write his exams or the one who has written and passed? What is this jubilation for? Because I really don’t understand.

Is it that the election of Buhari in itself has suddenly alleviated our sufferings? I am really confused here, hearing how six bikers lost their lives in Zaria celebrating Buhari’s victory. One would think that a people who have been shortchanged for so long by past presidents will know better to be calm and take every word of the new president with a pinch of salt until he proves to be different.
This process is becoming an unending circle, again and again we’ve danced and again and again, we’ve cursed and cried at the end. It is still shocking to me that a lot of Nigerians fell for the story that the president was born without shoes.

Was anyone born with shoes on? Buhari’s triumphant entry into the presidency last Sunday which coincidentally was a palm Sunday doesn’t yet prove he is the redeemer. Just like the second coming of our supposed political messiah Obasanjo didn’t prove any significant improvement in our lives.
We all thought he was the one anointed by the gods to take us by the hands and lead us right straight into the promised land, where we shall have no more gnashing of teeth. But when he left office, the roads were still as bad as they were before he took office. The hospitals are still without facilities and most importantly, he failed to defeat the demon in the power sector even with billions of dollars thrown at it.

The demons in the same power sector have claimed Jonathan just like they did Yar’Adua, Abdulsalami Abubakar, Sanni Abacha, Shonekan, IBB and Shagari. Even Buhari himself had already been defeated by this demon before. So what says it is not going to be the same this time around. Remember obasanjo was defeated twice by this same demon.
Why won’t our leaders take us for granted when they’ve noticed that we are always ready to jump to our feet and “judile” with the announcement of every new regime? When Buhari overthrew the democratically elected government of Shehu Shagari in 1983, many of you reading this took to the streets to boogie down.
When Babangida sent Buhari packing a couple of months later, a lot more of you got drunk and vomited all over the place. Even Abacha’s sudden death brought smiles on the faces of most bar owners across the country as they ran out of booze. Is something wrong with us as a people? We are forgetting a very important fact that this election proves that we are and will still remain a divided people.
We are divided by our ideologies with no realistic integration in sight. The election has also reinforced the thinking that we are divided by regional, tribal and religious interests and not national. These are some of the significant issues that will define our tomorrow.

Finally, some of you who are reading this may be saying, oh Etcetera, can’t you be optimistic for once? My brother, I can’t. Optimism and its younger brother, hope have proven to be very dangerous especially in Nigeria. They have sent millions of Nigerians to their early graves. What is the point of being optimistic in a system that has always left me in tears and heartache? Or is it till I get arrested by Mr. Cardiac? Tufiakwa!

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Entertainment, Opinion

March 28: The Known Devil or An Unknown Angel? | By: Olaniyan Olawale

Recently I was pondering over this popular proverb that states that “A devil you know is better than an angel you don’t know”. Personally, I do not agree completely with the saying, it sounds ironical because a devil is known for evil and an angel for righteous acts.
This saying might not be the perfect superlative to describe the political atmosphere in the country at the moment but it somehow relates to the situation of the nation right now.
There is no doubt the race to the Presidency is now between two men, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan; the incumbent president and C in C of the nation and General Muhammadu Buhari ;the tireless general, the general of the people as some address him.
Other presidential candidates exist according to INEC, the nation’s electoral body. It is extremely obvious that these candidates would become spectators come March 28 or probably they just want to add the title “2015 presidential aspirant” to their profile.
Firstly, let us take a look at the “devil we know” as stated in the first paragraph and of course it’s no other person than President Goodluck Jonathan. Though he didn’t spend much time as president after the demise of his late boss, Yar’Adua but a year and few months was not enough to boost his scorecard. We couldn’t differentiate the projects his boss initiated from his, that’s if there was any.
Hence, he won the hearts of the voters, some out of sympathy for the man who had no shoes. I still wonder if the “no shoes” theory is a real story or a kind of fable. Whichever it is, trust me Nigerians like such stories, they are mostly moved by the Grass to Grace ones, afterall that’s the storyline we see in nollywood movies almost every week and maybe that’s the kind of story that gives an average Nigerian a glimmer of hope that truly there is light at the end of every dark tunnel.
Also, some voted him based on his academic achievements. We have that belief that a doctorate degree holder; the highest academic degree would be able to provide profound solutions to the nation’s recurring problems. Most of us failed to acknowledge that academics and politics are two different things.
We were overwhelmed with the honour attributed to academics that we couldn’t notice the enormous differences between ideal paper work and real life situations. For example in ideal economics, purchasing fertilizers for farmers in large quatities should be at a lower cost than purchasing it individually but calculating from the real Nigerian situations and considering some factors an average reader should know the reverse is the case. The remaining votes were low for his main opponent then, this same General Muhammadu Buhari.
The last four years of president Jonathan’s tenure has arguably not been good enough probably because our expectations were high or probably because he didn’t gain enough experience while moving up the hierarchy of political power.
His acceleration to the apex was of high magnitude. Although top political analysts didn’t expect much from him, they predicted a government that would be directed by different forces. The President even at sometime admitted that he was confused by so many suggestions and pieces of advices from his cabinet.
Let us now move to the man who is the unknown angel for today; General Muhammadu Buhari. There isn’t much to say about him maybe because I wasn’t born during his era as military head of state but thank God for history books.
According to history, the General’s administration was quite controversial, while some stated that he only strict others said he excessively used the military power in the process of ensuring a disciplined and corruption free nation and some said he ruled with high level of integrity but I never heard of him being corrupt during his administration.
Finally, you’ll agree with me that the saying “it is better to deal with a known devil than to deal with an unknown angel” can’t be applied here because we might end up shooting ourselves in the foot. But it will surely be a factor we’ll consider before voting our choice candidate come march 28.
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Entertainment, Opinion

Dear Dbanj, this is NOT a love letter | By: Joy Isi Bewaji

Dear Dbanj, it is time to reinvent you. Enough of these idiotic dance steps.

I thought we had passed this phase of Dbanj’s career? Sizing up his phallus, suggesting sexual machismo, endorsing chauvinism and being a general nuisance?
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For all of his self-proclaimed virtues, we now know Dbanj is incapable of making another hit song. It’s like losing your wife and realising all those years of “great sex” was untrue, because the minute she left and you hooked up with another woman, she tells you- without the advantage of love- that your skills are lame.
Dbanj has struggled. Oh dear! Every song- and you can see that he lost sleep, sweated blood, outdid himself, and upped his braggadocio, STILL  a hit track has eluded him like sanity eludes the streets of Lagos.
The problem is not that he cannot save his music, the problem is he IS trying to save it.
Let it go, KOKO master. That thing, unfortunately,  is limp.
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Fortunately there’s more to his brand than music. Leave Olamide to thrill Lagos fans even without opening his mouth, it is his time. You, Dbanj, lost it when you lost it.
It is time to reinvent the enigma that you are.
You are Dbanj. For whatever reason you will continue to be relevant for as long as you realise music is not where it is going to happen. See what these small-small boyz are doing to King MI, for instance, messing up his palace with graffiti having more punch than his best lines.
It is hard out here, bro. So take advantage of what you have:
You have the looks (at least women like what they see), you have charisma, you have good style, you know some of the biggest names from oil to corporate Nigeria to politics, you have dated their daughters. You have a standing and clout in social crowds.
Dear Dbanj, it is time to reinvent you. Enough of these idiotic dance steps.
It is time to become a media mogul, forget one-one kobo songs, leave it to the talented. Focus on your Koko phones, Koko garri, Koko pure water- exporter/importer tinz.
Get into fashion, get a Mai Atafo to build a fashion label around your brand and get that friend of yours- Kanye West to wear one of your samples. Then send another one to that other dude that keeps sending you gifts from France. Send another to Big Sean. Use your networks well.
What else? Start a proper music business. Get two hot artistes and invest in their music. Let them sing what you left inside Don Jazzy’s mouth. Be the boss.
Dbanj, it is time to be the Bawse! This has been true for P.Diddy (aka Sean Puffy Combs)
Can Diddy sing? No!
Can he rap? Hell NO!
Is he richer than many Americans and their unborn kids? YES! YES!! YES!!!
I might not be a fan, but I liked your shoes at your first MTV Award event some years back. That should count for something.
So here’s wishing all the best.
And hopefully, we do not see you in this state of hopelessness, hoping to woo the crowd by all means ever again.
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Entertainment, Opinion

Opinion: Tinubu and the burden of morality | By: Samue Ajayi

I watched the AIT documentary on APC National Leader (I still wonder what that office is for) Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu and two things emerged: I learnt NOTHING and also learnt SOMETHING.
First, I was aware of the primitive acquisition by the politician. So it was nothing. It was the magnitude of the acquisition that shocked me. That was something.
However, let us assume that ONLY HALF of those ‘allegations’ are true, it is height of immorality and obscene abuse office. Imagine this: how many former governors are still occupying former houses originally owned by the state government, both valued at N1.1b?
The house, according to the documentary, at 5 Oyinkan Abayomi, VI, was owned by Lagos state government but has been ‘ceded’ to Tinubu as retirement benefit. Same for the house he lives in at Bourdillon. If it was a former PDP governor that did this and APC came in, would they not have revoked such crazy arrangement?
What of some shocking acquisition of lands, properties and then the mind boggling activities of Alpha Beta and Hitech Construction milking Lagos dry? Like I said, we knew these things. It was their magnitude that shocked someone like me. Having said this, this is exactly where my grouse with APC is.
They keep shouting change but YOU CAN NEVER CURE ME OF AN AILMENT THAT IS RAVAGING YOUR OWN BODY. PDP is stealing us blind. Jonathan is being attacked mainly on his inability to fight corruption.
He is allowing his friends and Niger Deltane to fleeze us. But those attacking him are much worse in every aspect. Or what is Tinubu doing differently?
They are grabbing and grabbing as if tomorrow will be no more. Haba! Lai Mohammed met with some select editors recently and admitted to them that Tinubu and Amaechi are the major sponsors of Buhari. How can this saint Buhari be claiming to be change agent to help us kill corruption with these two men as his financiers?
Their major vocation in the last 15 years was being state governors.
The rumor is flying around that the federal government wants to ground the APC presidential campaign by freezing the account of Tinubu and Amaechi; a direct admission of these two being rich enough to fund a presidential campaign.
WHERE DID THEY GET THE MONEY? WHAT MORAL RIGHT TO ACCUSE ANOTHER ONE OF CORRUPTION? I used to think only saints are in APC! But hypocrisy is APC’s number one disease.
Finally, I learnt Tinubu is threatening to sue AIT. He won’t be short of SANs to help him. Eight of them did when Conduct Bureau charged him.
Apart from legal fees, they all got a brand new Toyota Camry 2013 model. I knew the day that brand new Toyota Camry 2013 model were delivered to the office of a prominent Human rights activist.
EIGHT units of that car were bought same day each valued at N8m then. Their cocoa don ripe again. Only this time, it is empty threat! He CANNOT.
Those who did research on that documentary have their facts. He has petitioned the National Broadcasting Commission, NBC. That is a face saving move. But court? I pray he does.
Then he will know the limit of propaganda; especially using the media to ACCUSE SOMEONE OF WHAT IS YOUR OWN WAY OF LIFE.
 Credit: Opinionriver.com
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Opinion, Sports

Opinion: Chill out, Angel Di Maria is far from a flop

Most of you can probably still remember the exact moment you heard Ángel Di María had signed for Manchester United.
To the amazement of the footballing world Ángel Di María, Real Madrid and Argentina superstar had signed for a club not playing in the Champions League this season.
Wow. Such is their pull and financial muscle that the Old Trafford giants had lured the Man of the Match from last season’s Champions League final to make the move to the Premier League. He was the engine that drove the Galacticos to La Decima, at long last.
Behind all of Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale’s brilliance was the Argentine, whose move into central midfield led to seven goals and 22 assists in La Liga and the Champions League (the most assists in any top division in Europe).
His signing was a game changer, a seismic shift in the power struggle amongst the world’s most lucrative domestic competition. It was the beginning of a bright new era for United, with Di María anointed Luis Suarez’s successor as “the guy” in the Premier League. It’s not panned out exactly like that quite yet.
But you can see now why expectations were so high. After a fast start at the club Di María hit the ground running, capped off by a sensational chipped finish away to Leicester.
Injury curtailed his bright start, and inconsistency on the whole can define the rest of his time in Manchester thus far. Perhaps its expectations, maybe it’s just merely frustration.
And hey whose easier to get mad at besides the club’s manager than their star man and record signing. Seems fair to some. But it isn’t, despite understandable struggles and injury woes which have led to some concern.
But when he is gliding past defenders with ease all those concerns go away. There’s not many better in world football picking the ball up and running from deep at speed.
His best position at the club is yet to be determined (but is certainly open to debate) though there’s no denying when he picks up the ball with space to move he can be devastating. 
He hasn’t hit the heights some have expected and we’re not dodging that here, but surely some adjustment time is allowed? There was some struggle after returning from injury in the Christmas period, but he was excellent against Burnley and very good against Swansea registering an assist in both games.
Players traditionally struggle or require an adjustment period when moving leagues. It’s true that some never adjust and fail to make the grade, particularly in the physical nature of the Premier League.
But Ángel Di María is not just some player. He’s a world-class talent simply too good to just go quietly into the night. Cristiano Ronaldo, Mesut Özil and Eden Hazard all initially struggled with their slim frames upon their initial encounters into the English game. Upon becoming leaner and stronger, they’ve all left their mark in England.
Di María is part of this class of player who can do that. With such short memories nowadays, some remember only what happened last week in the football.
Despite his inconsistency, Di María is second in the league with eight assists. He’s scored four goals, equalling last season’s total in Madrid.
His WhoScored rating is higher than players receiving plaudits this season such as Christian Eriksen or Philippe Coutinho. It’s also higher than Gylfi Sigurðsson, Wilfried Bony and Samir Nasri’s, players considered to be having fine seasons.
So despite all the criticism of the Argentine, he’s still managed to concoct many moments of brilliance. So chill out everyone. Please be patient, it’s only been six months.
Without European football to tide us over and keep us distracted the time between games can be very long for fans, particularly when the team hasn’t played well the last time out.
But Louis van Gaal needs your support and the players need your support. Even superstars like Ángel Di María need the backing of their fans. With the club’s toughest and most important stretch of the season coming up, get behind your players and your club. Your faith might just pay off.
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Credit: mufclatest.com‎
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Entertainment, Opinion

Nollywood cannot afford to lose Goodluck- Charles Novia writes

Let us admit it – we have never seen any President so besotted with entertainment like Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, especially the movie-making sector. And this is not a satire. Yes, his detractors may point at “weakness” for entertainment as a signpost of an unserious mind frittering the commonwealth on ‘joli-joli’ matters!
Even the opposition may grumble loudly that the lively engagement with the Nollywood is essentially exploitative and window-dressing – to the detriment of more important and critical sectors of the national economy.

However, no one is in doubt that the life and essence the Creative wayfarers was initially ignited by Bayelsa governor, the much maligned Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, immediate boss of GEJ around year 2000. With dizzying state support and elaborate razzmatazz, the duo of Alams and GEJ wallowed in the sudden euphoria of showbiz and the attendant media opulence only comparable to IBB’s romance with PMAN’s ding-a-long of 1989 – 1992 when Tony Okoroji was the majordomo.

It was no surprise GEJ flowed with the momentum when fortune made him supplant Alams as Gov. of Bayelsa in December 2005. Yet, for all his enthusiasm for professional revelries, the make-believe could not have believed their luck when good ol’ providence thrusted GEJ, again, into greater prominence.
In quick succession, he moved from Vice-President to Acting President and eventually President within years! By 2011 when he assumed office, on his own stamina, the Nollywood romance had blown out of the creek waters. The two lovebirds were careering giddily on a thoroughfare peopled with great thespians, gifted producers, immaculate directors and of course a coterie of charlatans and ‘waka-pass’.
With technocrats within the federal service and the movie industry, different modules of foundational interventions were crafted – and cash-backed like never before. Millions of naira were mentioned, which ballooned, to the consternation of nay-sayers, to billions of naira in creative “stimulus packages”.
In the past ten years of GEJ’s unstinted romance with a powerful sector of the entertainment community, it is very uncharitable (even for inveterate detractors) to say that Jonathan has not “performed”. You may quarrel with the impact or management of his interventions; you may yap him and his people for mystifying the process and access to the several GEJ interventions in the Artsworld.
You may claim he has lost similar interest or attention to details in other critical sectors of the Nigerian state. However, no ONE can simply dismiss his unprecedented regard, affinity and seeming devotion to the people, practice and promise of Nigeria’s movie-making community and allied sectors. In his six years as President, GEJ has arguably awarded more national honours to our artistes than all the past regimes rolled together!
So, when you hear and see leading lights of Nollywood rooting aggressively for GEJ; when you read famed voices shouting on the roof of their cyper-pages and declaring the ceaseless glory of GEJ; when you read otherwise quiet prima-donnas spit fire and engage in internet-‘gra-gra’ with many of their tele-fans…for the sake of their beloved Moses (Jonathan) – you really must understand and appreciate their position – enlightened self-interest (a completely natural instinct).

They are not ‘bought’, ‘turn-coats’ or ‘ass-licking’ – against their will or legacy. They simply are paying good back to the man who has brought them a load of luck – and thus enhancing their means of livelihood, and embellishing their relevance. No pun intended.

This 2015 presidential election is a watershed for Nollywood. They cannot see anything in the “Change”-troopers to indicate that their groovy-train will go on; GMB has not even for once coughed about any plans for Nollywood, one of the major revelations of the 2014 rebasing parameters! It does appear that GMB does not even know that Nollywood exists – beyond gyrations at campaign rallies!
So, stop yakking at Nollywooders if they have little or no sympathies for GMB – he is disconnected from them in the past decade, at least. And within that same period, GMB’s main opponent has been their God-sent. Most assuredly I say to you: a good friend is difficult to find – and keep; Nollywood can’t afford to lose this Goodluck. God forbid!!

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