The joy of single parenting | By: Charly Boy

Photo Credit: asliceofsalem.org
They don’t make men like they used to anymore; and women have become something else.
Long long time ago, men used to be very proud being the bread winners, the sole providers in the home but nowadays, many don’t mind being a house husband.
Women used to be seen, not heard, but now, women are the bread winners in most homes. They have taken over the role of men, they have become the Boss Madam, most of them, by circumstance.
Question: How and why do some women end up with useless baby daddies and husbands who, short of owning a penis, can’t lay ownership to any responsibility, can’t take care nor take charge?
Why do some women stay in a relationship that ain’t going anywhere, worse off, in an abusive, psychologically draining, energy sapping relationship, where the man puts up his feet while the woman slaves to keep the home?
Haba! Is it by force to stay in a relationship because the world must see you as married, or you are only tolerating your baby daddy so he can have a rethink and marry you?
The new cool for women is single parenting, especially for those who have been unlucky in finding reasonable men.
Ladies, please cut yourselves some slack, you can’t find that much needed and desired happiness if you’re in a relationship that is so filled with stress and despair, coupled with the child or children’s responsibility you have to think of.
Life is about the good and the bad, it’s true we all know that single parenting has its ups and downs but hey, joint parenting does too.
No matter your circumstances or reasons, once you are a single parent, you should be prepared for the good and bad and handle it accordingly. For me I want to look at the positives rather than the negatives.
If you’re thrust with single parenting, first thing to get crystal clear is this is where you are now, and because you love the child/children enough to ensure they turn out well in life not lacking basic amenities, you must roll up your sleeves and get kicking.
You cannot afford to be lazy, don’t discriminate on the kind of job you can or cannot do because of an illusionary class. As long as the job is not prostitution, drug peddling and trafficking in any of the vices, you must give your best at what work you find to do to earn a living. There is still dignity in labour; at least we have Olajumoke’s story to refer to in very recent times.
Rather than pity yourself or stay on the spot whining and wailing, or going to night vigil everyday,
wear a good dose of confidence and give this your best shot.
Afterall, you’re not the first single parent and certainly won’t be the last.
We have stories of single parents whose children turned out very beautifully, thereby becoming reference points for good. I’m sure you know that children raised by single parents only turn out poorly and terribly because those parents didn’t give their best or their best wasn’t good enough.
As a single parent, you must find a responsible father figure to model for and mentor your child. This does not necessarily have to be your boyfriend, it can be an uncle, a friend, someone that the child can look up to and take correction from when he/she goes off course.
A mistake I have seen with single parents is that they turn their children to the husband they do not have, they do not discipline them when they go wrong, everything the child does is okay whether good or not, they don’t put their foot down on what they know is right for the child to do. They live and raise the kids in denial and self pity. This is when single parenting goes all wrong.
Apart from this, nothing stops a single parent’s child from being outstanding and even going ahead to outshine regular kids.
So, the ball is in your court, whether you will choose to see your cup half empty or half full but I am strongly against a lady pretending to be under a man when in the real sense, though her man is not physically demised but she’s the ONLY parent in her home.
Who you dey deceive?
I don talk my own sha, nah you know.

Jamie Vardy charged with improper conduct by FA

Jamie Vardy has been charged with improper conduct by the FA following his reaction to his dismissal during Leicester’s game against West Ham. and how well the ref carried them out.

The 29 year-old was given a red card  in the 56th minute of the match after he allegedly dived under a challenge in the box from Angelo Ogbonna. Reacting to the verdict, The furious footballer, pointed and shouted in the face of the official before  leaving the pitch.
Asides the one-match ban, which rules him out of Leicester’s next game against Swansea City, he could also miss the game at Old Trafford on May 1 as well.

I have to forget about the haters – Emmanuel Adebayor

Emmanuel Adebayor who was treated to a hostile reception at the Emirates yesterday has said that he harbours no hard feelings against the Arsenal fans who finds booed him before he came on for Crystal Palace.

The Togolese footballer who  scored 62 goals on 142 appearances for Arsenal between 2006 and 2009 was introduced into the game midway through the second half and was instrumental in his team’s late equaliser couldn’t be bothered about the reactions from supporters of his former club.

“It is not my first time coming back to play against Arsenal at the Emirates.
“You can see when I was on the bench and warming up and they were booing me I was just laughing. I cannot say I’m used to it because it is not good to get used to this kind of stuff.
“For me, at the end of the day I have to be happy about where I came from and what I have become today – I have to forget about all the haters.

He continued, “All the Arsenal fans boo me and when I look back, I understand where everything went wrong, but there are certain things in life you cannot come back to anymore.
“But at the end of the day, it is funny, the weather was good, we were playing in London and 20 minutes from my house. I have to be happy. If I’m not happy, then something is wrong.” He said.

Opinion : Of Chibok Girls and the Daughters of Damasak | By: Oke Epia

The 2014 Chibok abduction affair easily headlines the terror reign of Boko Haram in Nigeria. Like its controversial crusade against Western education, the stealing of some 200 girls from Chibok community by the terrorist sect had sparked off a fierce furore which turned out to be a distraction to and impediment to the rather tepid war being waged against boko haram at the time.

Some like Governor Ayo Fayose of Ekiti State believe Chibok was a mere political contraptionI to capture power by the then opposition All Progressives Congress (APC) from the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP)-led Goodluck Jonathan. Others hold the contrary view that Nigeria’s soul stays seared as long as the Chibok girls remain in the captivity of bigoted and depraved outlaws. Yet there are those that are unable to make up their minds which side of the divide to belong.
But a common denominator to the various shades of opinion on Chibok is the embarrassing reality that two years since report of the kidnap episode shot Nigeria into an unwholesome global spotlight, the country is still unable to resolve the fate of the girls or the facts of the matter so as to bring the sordid affair to a definite closure. And thus whatever the truth may be is suffused in speculations sustained by the political winds which drove the 2015 hustle for presidential power. Unfortunately however, the wind of change now blowing across the land has proved to be quite impotent in bringing about a solution to the quagmire.

The fact that the Chibok girls’ narrative continues to attract global attention albeit on a cascading scale sustains pressure on the Muhammadu Buhari administration to actualize its pre-election promise to rescue the girls and reunite them with their distressed families. In spite of signals suggesting that the government is growing impatient with the relentless crusade of the #BringBackOurGirls campaigners led by the irrepressible Oby Ezekwesili, the administration is helplessly seized of the burden to free the girls. And one way or the other, it must have to deal with it. Recycled excuses would not sell sell if the issue of the girls remains unresolved.

It is perhaps within the context of the pervading cluelessness surrounding the Chibok conundrum that government found it convenient to maintain an air of blankness on the reported kidnap of some 400 women and children from Damasak, Nigeria’s North-east Borno State, about a year after the Chibok raid. And maybe because Chibok was yet trending and useful as a political weapon at the time, the world paid little or no attention to an abduction of far more morbid mortality than what took place in the sleepy Christian town of Chibok in April 2014.

It has taken a report by Human Rights Watch (HRW) released this month to turn global attention to another human heist by boko haram that made Chibok looked like a test case. According to an article in the Globe and Mail of Canada, Damasak was the kidnapping that “the world ignored.” This is how the piece described the incidence: “Denied by the authorities, overshadowed by other atrocities, hidden by its remote location, the abduction of about 400 women and children in the Nigerian town of Damasak remains unsolved and shrouded in mystery a year later. It was the biggest-ever kidnapping by the Islamist radicals of the Boko Haram group, yet it was neglected by politicians and activists who focused instead on the heavily publicized abduction of more than 200 schoolgirls from the town of Chibok in 2014.”

In its narration of the Damasak affair, the Huffingtonpost said thus: “Unlike the kidnapping of some 200 school girls from Chibok a year earlier, there was no international outcry, no hashtags, no rallies and no U.S drones scouring the Nigerian forest after the Islamic extremist group’s abductions in Damasak, in the northeastern Nigerian state of Borno.

Excerpts of the HRW report in reference states thus: “Damasak is the largest documented school abduction by Boko Haram militants. Yet it has drawn far less public attention than the group’s widely condemned abduction of 276 school girls from a government secondary school in Chibok in April 2014. On November 24, 2014, Boko Haram attacked Damasak, a trading town about 200 kilometers northwest of Maiduguri, near the border with Niger, blocking all four roads leading into the town and trapping residents and traders.

“The insurgents quickly occupied Zanna Mobarti Primary School, shutting the gates and locking more than 300 students, ages 7 to 17, inside, according to a teacher at the school and other witnesses Human Rights Watch interviewed. The Boko Haram militants then used the school as a military base, bringing scores of other women and children abducted across the town there as captives. The insurgents separated the women from the children and the boys from the girls. Some of the women held captive later told Human Rights Watch they could hear the screams and cries of the children, but they were not permitted to go to them. Over the following weeks and months, the militants forced their captives to learn the Quran. A number of women and children died in captivity after they were fed putrid food, which caused severe vomiting and diarrhea.
“Between March 13 and 15, 2015, soldiers from neighboring Chad and Niger advanced on Damasak as part of a cross-border military operation against the insurgents. As the troops approached, Boko haram fled from Damasak, taking with them the 300 children and an estimated 100 more women and children they had been holding captive there.” How a dramatic event of that nature escaped the prying eyes in the sky maintained by the US and other Western powers that claimed to have intelligence on the Chibok girls but curiously neglected to assist the Jonathan administration with such, betrays the duplicity of global powers on the fight against terror.
Recall that former British High Commissioner to Nigeria, Mr. Andrew Pocock had recently spoken of how the Chibok girls were spotted by American and British surveillance operatives but could not take any action because of the high risks anticipated in a possible rescue operation. “A couple of months after the kidnapping, fly-bys and an American eye in the sky spotted a group of up to 80 girls in a particular spot in the Sambisa forest, around a very large tree, called locally the Tree of Life, along with evidence of vehicular movement and a large encampment,” Pocock told the Sunday Times of Sunday.
According to the former Envoy, “a land-based attack would have been seen coming miles away and the girls killed, an air-based rescue, such as flying in helicopters or Hercules, would have required large numbers and meant a significant risk to the rescuers and even more so to the girls. You might have rescued a few but many would have been killed. My personal fear was always about the girls not in that encampment- 80 were there, but 250 were taken, so the bulk were not there. What would have happened to them? You were damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

But if the West and the rest of the world regards Damasak as a non-issue and have decided to turn a blind eye, that should not vitiate the responsibility of the Nigerian state to the security and welfare of its citizens. The least government can do now is to investigate the damning HRW report and take necessary actions even if belated. The initial denial that Damasak was a contrivance of the Western media and its international civil society allies is long expired. Like Mausi Segun, Nigeria researcher for HRW said in a statement released during the week, it is befuddling that “three hundred children have been missing for a year, and yet there has been not a word from the Nigerian government.” The preceding Jonathan administration may be forgiven for such askance attitude but not a government that rode to power on a celebrated condemnation of Chibok and a promise to do things differently.
Again, like Human Rights Watch said, “the Nigerian government has an obligation under domestic law as well as under international human rights law to take measures to protect its citizens from Boko Haram’s serious human rights abuses. The government has a corresponding responsibility to take effective steps to secure the release of the people Boko Haram has abducted from Damasak.”

From Chibok to Damasak, the burden doubles for President Buhari. And it certainly requires more than ‘technical’ defeat of boko haram to creditably discharge it.

Follow writer on Twitter @resourceme
Credit : orderpaper.ng

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Actress, Mide Martins confirms marital crisis

Well, it would be rash to suggest that their marriage has bitten the dust. From the look of things, the separation is temporary (I really think so). Actress, Mide Martins-Owo has confirmed she is going through a rough time in her marriage. Read her post below.

Life Is a Mystery!!!…. We live in a world where so many strange things happen that are beyond human comprehension… First of all I want correct this impression of me moving out of my husband’s house, I did not leave my house nor pack out of his house, On the contrary, he was the one that left me and moved out of the house!!….
And this happened like 3months ago when we had a minor argument over the well being of his children… And he packed out of the house abandoning me and 5 children at home….His 2kids, Our 2cousins that has been leaving with us for the past 10yrs now and the househelp… Anyone who is close to the house or our family can testify to it that I am still in the house that we have lived together for 4yrs now, he was the one that moved out and rented another apartment two weeks after…

Presently as we speak, he’s now leaving in his new house, neglected his wife, kids & responsibilities since…I tried to resolve this issue by informing some of our close relatives but all to no avail… I guess his mind was strongly made up and must have his reasons for wanting to be a free man… Naturally couples do have issues between each which are meant to be resolved between them amicably not taking such a drastic measure like moving out of the house, a man for that matter!!!…. Definitely he must have been planning to do so before was just looking for an excuse!!!
A responsible man would never abandon his family no matter the circumstances!!!…. So I kept mute all this while and tried to move on with my life, going about my daily business , working my head up day and night for the survival of these children…. If you check through the years back, I never for once talked about my husband badly … I always give him praises and appreciate him anywhere and everywhere necessary… Is he God? Is he Angel? Or Is he that perfect?… Ofcourse No!!…. He has hurt me so many times before Infact has broken me countless time before but never for once said anything cruel about him but instead tried to play along with maturity… Because I don’t ever want to tarnish his image, I love my husband and cherish him more than any one can imagine!!!
People usually judge people by their appearances which shouldn’t be so..we shouldn’t judge people from afar!!.. An innocent looking person might be a devil underneath while an arrogant/ flashy person might just be an angel to the core!!… So many people abused, cursed, judged, criticized and even condemned me for not uploading his picture on his birthday .. How can I celebrate a man that has abandoned me and his kids for over 3 months now without looking back and made it clear he wasn’t ready to get back to me!!…If actually did that who would I be fooling? Myself? Him? Or the Audience?… All that you see on his page.. @officialafeezowo on my birthday uploading my pictures and saying some nice things was just a camouflage!! Deception!!… He wrote there that am his angel.. “Can you leave your angel to starve to death?”….if you check through his page very well he hasn’t uploaded my picture there for a while before this very day of my birthday simply because he left me a long time ago… All he does is fool the world by uploading his children pictures which has been on his phone for long and now pretending to be the best dad in the world. Whereas he hasn’t heard from these children or care about their well being in a long while now… I don’t like really to upload my children on net too much because I believe children are meant to be protected by keeping them well and save inside not exposing them to the world every time like they are some kind of items you wanna sell. That’s why I don’t put them on Net too much except on very important occasion. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I adore them!!… Infact they are my life!!!

Now!!… My husband why are trying to destroy me? Why do you wanna kill me? What will be your achievement? Why do you wish destroy my career.. This is the career that gives me money to feed the children that came out from your flesh and blood… Why do I deserve this kind of hatred from you?… Is this what I get for having stayed by your side and supported you for good 13yrs?… Well no problem!!!..All will be well… But I leave everything into God’s hands to judge between you and I … I know he will surely fight my battle for me because ” Oba Elesan ni, Adakedajo, arinurode, Olumoran okan, olugbeja eda”… Now Am crying out unto you from the deepest pain of my heart!!.. “Gbogbo Eyin Abiamo Aye”….Pls save me!! Pls save this poor innocent woman who’s done nothing wrong but has always worked extra hard just to support and keep her family together … Pls I beg you all in the of God to save me from this. Trauma that am experiencing now… May God be with everyone… 
Thank You!!!

Event: Join Cobhams Asuquo, James Brendan, others for 'UNMASK: Identity Theft '

“Robbed by Relationships, Mugged by the Mirror, Stolen by Success, Pickpocketed by the Past” – Mike Breaux. 
We live in a world where we are constantly barraged by daunting life variables. Our belief systems have been shaped by the opinions and perspectives sold to us by others. The media especially is the most forceful yet subliminal vehicle of such persuasion.
When the question is asked: Who Are You? What influences your understanding of who you are? What or who is the authority on your knowledge of self? Do you take your life lessons and form your principles through TV Programming? Very many do, I can be too sure of that; or through the lifestyle of a celebrity, an icon, or a mentor? 
Wait a minute, when you make that post on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook and nobody likes, comments or shares it, does it pique you.
Identity Theft is as real as Tuface Idibia is a legend. 
A new group called Chosen Generation, the Youth arm of Grace Assembly is debuting their series of projects with a Flagship event called UNMASK: Identity Theft.
 Guest performing and speaking is the multiple award winning singer, songwriter and producer Cobhams Asuquo whose life story is as compelling as it is inspiring and underscores the complicity of the subject, the renowned fashion designer James Brendan, and  the host. 
Host: Dr. Olufemi Paul
Date : 23rd of April 2016, 
Venue : Yard 158, Oregun by First Bank Bus Stop, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria. Time: 5PM.
You can be at the event and join the conversation. The issues are real.  

Buhari Might Be The Last President Of Nigeria – Etcetera writes

Perhaps after reading this, you will come to the conclusion that I am being irrationally paranoid. If so, you are probably spending way too much time plugged in to the “propaganda matrix” that I will describe in this article.
The government wants you to believe that everything is going to be just fine and that the best days for this country are ahead. The government understands that most Nigerians don’t understand the ramifications of the present state of the nation because they have been washed and rinsed with propaganda. We live in a society that is absolutely addicted to entertainment.

An average Nigerian youth spends most of the day plugged in to one form of social media or the other. When we are not watching television, we are listening to the radio, messing with our smartphones or spending endless hours on the Internet. More than 90 per cent of the things that we are fed through these devices are produced by the media. And who controls the media? The corrupt politicians do. And have you noticed how “the mainstream media” loves to divide us? Today, Nigerians are more divided than ever. Our news broadcasts endlessly fixate on one crisis after another, ethnic or religious. Nigerians are extremely angry and frustrated today, but most of our anger and frustration are directed wrongly.
How can we ever hope to come up with any solutions for our nation if we spend so much time hating our fellow citizens? But this is just how the politicians like it. They love to play divide and conquer. They love as chaos is brewing all over the land. If we were united, we would be far more difficult to manipulate. And even if we did find a way to come together, what values and principles would we use to rebuild this nation? The truth is that most Nigerians have totally neglected the values and principles that the founders of this country once held so dear.
Personally, I am very optimistic about my future. And I believe that the greatest chapters of my life are still ahead of me. But am I optimistic about the future of Nigeria? No, I am not. I strongly believe in the United States’ prediction that we are on the path of disintegration. And current happenings suggest that it might not be a peaceful disintegration. So, if you have got family and friends that you would like to visit before things start getting really crazy, you should do so within the next couple of months, because these might be the last days of “normal life” in Nigeria. The unity that so many of us take for granted might be coming to a screeching halt, and we are about to enter the hardest times that any of us has ever known. And I am not just talking about the economy here.
Our refusal to have a national conference and decide the terms of our coexistence as a nation with freedom, equal rights and justice for all, plus the plague of hunger sweeping across the nation, we are about to enter a “perfect storm” that is going to shake this country in just about every possible way that it can be shaken. So I hope that you will truly savour these moments – days like this may not come around again anytime soon. Can you tell me of anyone that lived a seemingly charmed life even though that individual made foolish decision after foolish decision? In the end, reality almost always catches up with people like that.
And in so many ways, we have been living a charmed life as a nation even though we have been making incredibly foolish decisions for decades. We have cursed ourselves over and over again, and just about every form of evil that you can possibly imagine is exploding all around us. As a nation, we now stand for just about everything that is bad, and the rest of the world is absolutely horrified by what has happened to us. Once upon a time, we were one of the most welcomed people on the entire planet. Now we are one of the most dreaded. The things that we have been doing to ourselves is about to catch up with us in a major way. We thought that we were getting away with everything that we have been doing, but that is never the case. When you do evil to yourself or someone else, there is always a price to pay. Over the past few years, strange things have been happening. The power situation is one of those strange things. That corrupt politicians don’t go to jail is another. How can you explain being one of the world’s largest oil producing countries and still suffer from lack of fuel? If the government fails to take the rightful decisions in the months ahead, we are bound to see some more unusual events unfold.
To be honest, whatever the country is witnessing now might just be a tip of the iceberg. From now, you are just going to have to trust your instinct. If my tone sounds ominous, that is good, because that is precisely the mood that I am trying to convey. Right now, everything happening suggests that all our comfortable little lives are about to get shaken up big time. Good politicians have gone extinct. We are now left with those who love to create chaos out of order. In other words, they will often purposely create a crisis in order to push through things that they would not be able to accomplish during “normal” times.
The problems that we are experiencing are being used to justify radical “solutions” that will further their overall agenda. In the middle of an “emergency”, nobody pays attention to their looting. Unfortunately, most of us are going to be completely blindsided by what is coming. You might choose to continue to follow the utterly clueless leaders down a path toward oblivion. But the good news is that once the “shaking” starts, many of “you” will wake up, but it might be too late. When that happens, who will “you” turn to for answers? 

Comedian, Ali Baba and wife renew marital vows

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Ace comedian, Alibaba and his wife recently
renewed their vows after 10 years of marriage. Take a look at what went
down. 

The motivational speaker and his wife, Mary jetted off to a private
location to celebrate their marriage milestone. In a clip posted on the
comedian’s instagram page, the couple held a bible as they got ready to recite
their marital vows before family and friends. The renowned compere also shared throwback photos from the
wedding which took place in April 2006.

Aisha Buhari donates book launch proceeds to mothers of the Chibok girls.

The Wife of the President of Nigeria, Mrs Aisha Buhari, has donated proceeds from the launch of her first book titled “Essentials of Beauty Therapy’ to the mothers of the Chibok girls’. The 406 pages and seven chapter book which focuses on enhancing the health and wellbeing of human body had its public presentation on Thursday in Abuja at the Banquet Hall of the Presidential Villa, Abuja.
She noted that her decision to present the book was to contribute through her personal efforts to support the victims of insurgents particularly women and children. “It is on this note, l’m dedicating this event and the proceeds from the sales of the books to be used to empower the mothers of the Chibok girls.

“Others are Buni Yadi boys murdered in their sleep in 2014 as well as support the malnourished children in the different Internally Displaced Persons camps and other children in such situation across the country. “As a mother, my heart is always with the parents of these children; I bear their pains and belief that this is one of the efforts to console them.

“The parents of these children brought to this event to witness this event is an indication that at individual level a lot can be done to alleviate their hardship.’’ She pleaded to all those who purchased copies of the book to donate to educational institutions in order to serve as reference materials to support the learning of the girl-child.
She described the book as the outcome of many years of her research after she undertook series of courses in order to acquire the necessary knowledge to specialise in the area of beauty therapy. She said that her natural passion for beauty and fashion developed the her unique interest to work, teach and mentor young ones on beauty and fashion.
Mrs Buhari said that in her over 10 years of experience in the beauty industry, she has trained, mentored and empowered hundreds of young Nigerians in different areas such as facial, skin and body care. Aisha said that she had served as member of the technical team that developed the curriculum on beauty therapy.

I'll rather retire than play for Arsenal – Dele Alli

Photo published for Tottenham Star Dele Alli's Old Tweets Are Absolutely Hilarious

Yeah Right!
The same way Samuel Eto’o quipped in 2014, “I’ld rather be selling groundnuts in my village than play for a pathetic team like Chelsea.’ 10 years after, he donned the Blues kit.  
 Tottenham player, has revealed that he would rather retire from football than play for Arsenal. We are certain Gooners are up in arms about this statement.
Speaking to Copa90 as part of a ‘Fifa & Chill’ episode , The 20-year-old PFA Young Player of the year award nominee was asked to choose between playing for Arsenal and retiring. He replied, “I’m hanging my boots up.”
Open chat