Written by Claudia Connell for Daily Mail. The writeup is a response to an article titled reasons for needing a man. Claudia who has never been married strongly believes that a woman is capable of handling all the issues in her home/life without any interference from any man. Find her reasons below.
1) Self-replacing loo roll would be a great invention to have on Dragon’s Den. But until then, I don’t need a man to use up a roll and then not put a new one on the holder.
2) After 48 years I know what suits me and what doesn’t. I do not need a man to critique my outfit or hairstyle before I leave the house.
3) I don’t need a man to yack all the way through Strictly then ‘Shh’ me when Top Gear comes on.
4) I am too old for spangly (and itchy) lingerie. I definitely don’t need a man to buy me rubbish Christmas presents.
5) I’m unbeatable at board games. I don’t need a man to pretend to let me win at Scrabble on Christmas Day.
6) I can have a conversation without it becoming a debate. Not everything needs to be turned into a competition.
7) When I’m lost, I ask for directions. I do not need a man who’d rather stay lost for hours because, in his world, asking for help is akin to chemical castration.
8) The TV remote control is a device that changes channels — it is not a life-support system. I do not need a man who thinks it is and has to have it prised out of his hands.
9) I like my bathroom sink to be sparkly and clean. I do not need a man to leave foamy bristles all over it.
10) I’ve yet to meet a man who can stack a dishwasher logically so the pans don’t fill with water. I do not need a man to incur my dishwasher rage.
11) Yes, I know that statistically I have more chance of being murdered than I do of winning the lottery — but I live in hope (of winning the lottery, not being murdered), and I don’t need a man to point out this statistic every time I buy a ticket.
12) Do men really think us women haven’t caught on to the ‘leaving it to soak’ trick? I don’t need a man to avoid washing up the turkey roasting tray.
13) If I want someone to not listen to a word I say or respond, I have the wall for that, like Shirley Valentine.
14) I like my butter soft, slightly salted and crumb-free. I do not need a man to put dirty knives in it.
15) Stepladders are handy little inventions that mean I don’t need a tall man to fetch things off high shelves or put the star on my Christmas tree.
16) Assembling flat-pack furniture is a doddle. I don’t need a man to not follow the instructions properly and insist you don’t need all the screws that are supplied. You do.
17) I’ve got locks on my doors, bars on my windows and an alarm. I’d like to see a man do a better job of protecting me.
18) I enjoy my annual outing to Ladbrokes to put a bet on the Grand National. I understand the odds and everything. I don’t need a man to do it for me or sneer at my choice of horse.
19) I can cook a meal without using every pot and pan in the kitchen. I don’t need a man to turn it into a bombsite.
20) Used teabags go in the bin, 1ft away from the kitchen sink. I don’t need a man to fill my sink with them.
21) I don’t need a man to come home and spend two hours telling me about his day without once asking me about mine.
22) Gas barbecues are a brilliant invention. I don’t need a man to light a barbecue for me.
23) Laundry needs to be done on different wash cycles. I don’t need a man to ruin my cashmere by not reading the labels.
24) I can pay for my own meals in restaurants — his too, if necessary.
25) When I can’t do a DIY job, I admit it. I don’t need a man to insist he can, then mess it up.
26) I am irresponsible with money but it’s mine to be irresponsible with. I don’t need a man to justify my spending to.
27) At work? On the train? Had a sandwich for lunch? I don’t need a man to check in with constant mundane updates about his day.
28) I’ve got a nifty little gadget from Lakeland that captures spiders — something else I don’t need a man for.
29) I like Baileys with ice at this time of year. I definitely don’t need a man to not refill the ice trays. This is possibly the most rage-inducing thing ever.
30) I don’t need a man to mow my lawn. I had it paved over when I moved in, to create the lowest- maintenance garden. It’s wonderful.
31) Emptying the bin takes seconds. I don’t need a man to treat it like a skip and try and build it up at the sides with cardboard in order to cram more in.
32) While I like mince, I don’t want to eat it seven times a week thanks to a man whose culinary repertoire doesn’t extend beyond spag bol, chilli and plain old fried mince.
33) When I can’t open a tight jar, I stab the lid, release the pressure — and hey presto. No man required.
34) I can read restaurant menus and wine lists. I don’t need a man to order for me.
35) My parking skills are second to none. I do not need a man to park my car for me or guide me out of a tight space — or comment while I’m doing both.
36) The offside rule really isn’t that complicated. It’s just boring. I don’t need or want it explained to me
37) When my clothes feel tight, I know I’ve gained weight. I don’t need a man to point it out, grab rolls or tell me I’m ‘so cuddly’.
38) Sometimes it’s nice to watch a cheesy, romantic movie at the cinema. I don’t need a man to sit next to me, sighing, tutting and muttering ‘for God’s sake’ all the way through.
39) Why do men have an over- whelming need to empty their pockets in random piles all over the house? I don’t need to walk around looking at abandoned change, chewing gum and tissues.
40) The AA Route Planner website has no reason to lie. I don’t need a man to insist that a journey the AA says will take two hours is ’45 minutes, tops’.
41) I like clothes to be neatly pressed. I don’t need a man to just iron the collar and cuffs because ‘that’s all anyone sees’.
42) When I read the newspaper I start at the beginning and finish on the last page. I don’t need a man to remove the sections and then put them all back in the wrong order.
43) Filling the petrol tank before it’s totally drained and the red warning light is flashing is not a sign of weakness. I don’t need a man to not put petrol in the car until there’s a teaspoon left.
44) I subscribe to an IT helpline. When my laptop breaks down I ring it, and the person at the end of the line fixes it remotely. I don’t need a man to ‘reboot’ it for me and lose the last two years of my work.
45) When I need odd jobs doing, I call a handyman service and make a one-hour booking. In that time, everything gets done without procrastination, whingeing or mess.
46) Making a list and sticking to it is the fastest, most efficient way to get around a supermarket. I don’t need a man to return home having bought nothing we need and 200 things we don’t.
47) I have embraced minimalist living. I couldn’t bear to live with a man who collects junk, has no idea what it’s for but insists it cannot possibly be thrown out.
48) Letting another car out in heavy traffic is a nice thing to do. I don’t need a man who reacts to this gesture as though I’ve just handed over a million pounds.
49) Not every retailer or tradesman who ever breathed ‘saw me coming’. Some things cost a lot of money — and I don’t need a man constantly trying to claim he could have found it cheaper elsewhere.
50) They’re your family. I don’t need a man who needs me to remember the birthdays of his parents, siblings, and nieces and to buy their Christmas presents.
Credit: Daily Mail
Photocredit: Good women project
