Nigerian artistes now invent lies. Etcetera writes

Ladies and gentlemen, you are welcome to the new game in
town. For better or for worse, our music “industry” is embracing a new form of art. The focus has shifted almost entirely from making music to something else.
Now the transition is finally complete and the sync word here is LIE.
In Nigeria today, every artiste needs a “lying” platform – or three, to reach their target audience. Years back, radio used to be the dominant “platform” for breaking new artists, you may say it is still important, but the radio is certainly no longer the only game in town.
It is becoming simply too limited,
too expensive and too difficult to control to be the sole platform. A better and surer way to expose the artist to the public has been discovered. Now the ‎artiste with the biggest LIE has the bigger and better head start.
The Nigerian music “industry” has now brought a vast array of gifted liars. We have seen managers lying blatantly about the activities of
their artistes just to be noticed. So far, it is working for them here in
Nigeria. Our gullibility has made it too easy to become an artiste here in Nigeria.
What was your reactions when Burna Boy tweeted about his new songwriting deal with Universal Music Group? Did you notice how the blogs went ‎gaga congratulating him? If truly Burna Boy got a deal, why didn’t Universal Music Group issue a statement to that effect? Well, strange stuff has happened.
Isn’t the Nigerian music “industry” at risk with this lying game taken to this new level? Is it no longer worth noting that the actual quality of the artist’s songs should be a predominating factor in a decision to recruit him as a songwriter? Why are we acting as if we don’t know that Burnaboy’s songs won’t find many readily available patronisers outside the shores of Nigeria?
If they do, they can only be appreciated by only a few Nigerians. Even in cases where there is a proven audience for a particular artiste’s work, it is not enough to make it a big deal to corner a deal.
As a musician reading this article, would you approach Burna Boy to write you a song? Judging by what
you’ve heard from him so far! If you can’t, why would a foreign company with a long list of songwriters employ him as a songwriter?
One reason why there are no record labels in Nigeria is that
a lot of our music stakeholders are sentimental in their approach to the business. The guys at Universal are not jokers. They are strictly in it for the money. They don’t attach sentiments to their dealings.
They know that songwriting is not actually a business. There’s no financial element attached
to songwriting in itself. It is the job of the music publisher to turn the song into something that can generate income. Can Burna’s song guarantee the kind of
financial returns we are talking about here?
How many CDs has he sold in Nigeria as an artist? I am not talking of the free downloads of singles on blogs, but the copies of actual albums he has sold. How many people have his album in their homes? The pink and brown contract sneaked up on us on Instagram could have been printed at Oluwole. 
Until Universal Music Group authenticates these claims, everything Burna has said could not be true. It is a shame that
Nigerian journalists will never see it necessary to investigate any issue
before plastering it all over their platforms. I was on set on Nigezie,
shooting the Etcetera Live TV show when the producer asked if I heard about Burna Boy’s new deal with Universal Records.
Right there and then, I went online and checked the authenticity of the story. The first thing I checked was
if Universal Music Group issued any statement to that effect. I wasn’t surprised that the story could only be found on Nigerian websites.
The websites of Universal in America, South Africa and other countries had nothing suggesting they have anything with Burna Boy. Their facebook pages said nothing too. There is an official statement on every deal they have made. 
It is the norm with every recording company in the world. You employ a songwriter who is like a talent magnet; a record maker. Someone who brings forth the talent in the singer. Someone whose role is to write songs that define the artistes and give them a reason for existence and you keep that under the carpet? It doesn’t make any sense.
The truth is, there’s no song of Burna that suggests he is
anywhere close to being the kind of songwriter we are talking about here. This guy sounds like he doesn’t want anyone to pick out his lines.
Finally, it is very important for all those with music interest to note that in this new LIE eco-system of ours, there are three things a musician needs, and his success or failure can be predicted almost
entirely on the basis of how many of these three things are in place.
If you can provide a clean sweep of three out of three, like Burna Boy, you’ll likely be signing a record deal with Universal Music Group even without being able to hold your notes vocally. If you’ve got two out of three, you will probably get an offer, like some other artistes have claimed at different times.
Though it might not be exactly the deal you were hoping for. Bring only one out of three and the best you can hope for is a polite invitation to come back sometime in the distant future. So here are the three things every Nigerian will pay for – the essential components to a successful “Music Career” – 1.LIE, 2.LIE and 3.LIE!

Nollywood loses another veteran actor.

Seasoned actor, ‎Peter Bunor has died. He passed on yesterday May 1st after battling with stroke for several years. 

“In the early hours of today, my father, friend, teacher,confidant passed on.” His son, Peter Bunor Jnr wrote on Facebook.

May his soul find repose. Amen.

Photos: This multi million naira hotel is reportedly owned by Dame Patience Jonathan

Situated in Yenagoa, Bayelsa State, the Aridolf hotel is reportedly owned by Nigeria’s first lady, Dame Patience Jonathan. 
According to Financial Times, “In the lobby, Louis XIV furniture is accompanied by bowls of plastic fruit, faux Dutch landscapes and a grotesquely gaudy chandelier. The hotel is redolent of the riches on display in a region that for half a century has generated the bulk of Nigeria’s wealth.”

Short Story: The Other Side Of Cool (Cont'd)  | By: Damore Ali‎

(Click Here to read the beginning of the story)

It is Sunday evening and I am dressed in a Baroque beaded mini with bateau neckline by Shail K which I shopped off the online store a month ago. I fish for a black regal teardrop ear-ring from my jewelry box, fit into a pair of black stilettos and grab my futuristic clutch purse by Nina Larsen before heading out to Baby. That’s what I call my Nissan Funky Crossover.

We share a warm girly hug when she comes to the entrance of her Lekki apartment to receive me. Zara had invited about 10 of her friends over, 5 males and 5 females, I quickly acknowledge. Her closest friends, maybe? 


Truthfully, I am humbled to be one- and more importantly, the only one from the office where we work in. I say a perfunctory hello to the other guests and offer a warm smile as Zara leads me to a seat and clinks her glass afterwards to get everyone’s attention. 

Good evening sweethearts. It’s a great delight to have you all here at my 25th birthday.’ 


There is a short whistle call followed by random applauses. She giggles and continues ‘Now that the guest list is complete..’ Oh! She had a guest list? I had no idea. ‘..this is Folorunsho Davies’ she is saying, introducing me to the others. ‘..my friend, colleague and oga at the top’

The sitting room warms with gracious laughter. I laugh too. She just had to make me the centre of attention, didn’t she?

In another five minutes, Zara is in and out of her kitchen serving this and serving that- wine, beer, juice, sweets, salad, cheese, mainly light stuff. Name it. I am enjoying myself and glad I didn’t pass this up for a family dinner which Bimpe had informed me about earlier that morning before leaving my apartment with a bagful of some of my most-prized possessions. Ah, that girl! Bless her greedy soul. I muse warmly. 

I can imagine Mum, Dad, Bimpe, my two elder sisters, their husbands and sons at the big family dinning table which would no doubt cause my parents to question time and time again when I was bringing ‘him’ home. They are certain I am just hiding him from them, or taking my time with him, whichever the case is- because they are sure I can’t be without a ‘him’ at 26 with a younger sister old enough to bring a man home herself. Ah. Tales of an old soul, my subconscious taunts.

Fine evening eh?’ Some man walks up to me from the far end of the room. I was lost in the swirling movement of the wine in my glass cup that I didn’t see him coming. Some man? Definitely not ‘some’, more like ‘the’. He looks surprisingly familiar.

‘Remember me?’ He questions as he makes himself comfortable on the edge of my chair.‎


‘Err, no. Should I?’ I respond unapologetically. A price for your good looks, I muse wickedly.


He flinches, seemingly hurt, and then his gaze deftly moves over Cara. Only then does it register- the long being from Major Store. Ha ha, I do the wicked laugh in my head as he shifts his gaze to rest squarely on mine with the ‘I can never forget this pair of boobs’ look. 

‘My bad, we met yesterday right? Forgive me, I am not too good with faces.’

‘I see.’ He responds dryly. ‘I am Sola Williams’ he offers, his long awkwardly straight hands stretched forth for a shake. I take it with a smile ‘Folorunsho Davies’.


‘You stay on MainStreet or the supermarket thing was just mere coincidence?’ I ask.

‘I happen to stay there on some days when ‘m not staying somewhere else. So yes.’ He responds.


Hmm. I rummage on that for half of a second. Why not just a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

‘So how do you know Zara?’ I ask because I am surprised Zara knows some hunk of a man as this ‘or is she your girlfriend?’ I add quickly, more out of curiosity than anything else. 



Zara is the innocent, good girl kind that you would swear can never have bad-looking-cute-boys for friends.

He laughs. ‘Wouldn’t you know? Seeing as she says you are her friend. Well, we have been friends for what? Forever? She’s a family friend.’

Oh.’ I nod my head in silent thought. Family friend. Cool. ‘So what do you do?’

‘Errm.. I talk’.‎


Hahah. Is that some joke? I laugh quietly. ‘Seriously dude.. Really, what do you do?’ He is charmingly sweet to talk to, and if that’s what he really does for a living, ‘talk’, then he’s awesome at it!

Really..’ He shrugs. ‘I talk people to sleep. Mostly girls. Sometimes guys too’. My already big eyes increase even ten times more as I sit beside him, horrified. He laughs again. A confident-in-my-skin kind of laugh. ‘I am an OAP. I do the Souls TMB program on Galaxy Fm.’

Omg! Did he just say Souls, my best radio program? Did he really just say he hosts that show, and he is the Sola Williams? My body tickles enticingly. Little wonder he’s so in- his- skin. He’s used to this kind of thing. The reaction the gorgeous+sexy+OAP combination commands. I shame him, and maybe break his heart a little bit as I gather my wits around me in two seconds.

‘Whoa. You don’t say. That’s interesting’ I flash him my ‘charming-est’ kind of smile. He is surely amazed. If I were in another persons skin, I would have jumped all over him with a squeal that would likely raise the roofs to the doors of heaven because Gosh, I have loved him since forever. Who doesn’t love him anyway?


He gets over this quickly as he springs back with his usual sassy vigour. ‘So what do you do?’‎

‘I work as a Legal consultant with Doroville.’ I must have sounded a little too self- accomplished there. But who wouldn’t? Working with the biggest legal firm in town is no beans mhan. I laugh in my head.


‘Oh? The DoroVille? That’s impressive. You must be an A-class Harvard grad or something then.’ I blush but thankfully I am black, he can’t see it.


I shrug. ‘You don’t have to be to work there, really. Just work your way through the ladder tenaciously, have something unique to offer, and you’re good.’

‘I see.’

At that moment, Zara calls us together to cut her birthday cake. It’s a yummy sight. Damn, how I love chocolate cakes, just the perfect for dessert! After an almost-too-perfect rendition of the popular happy birthday song from the lot of us, she dips the knife through the cake and Hurray! The birthday is properly marked! 

Afterwards, there is music. Ah! I love to dance, you know? Both my personalities love to dance- Melody, gentle, calm, good girl, she does the slow bad- girl- I- want- to- seduce- you dance; and Martha, the one I am tonight and on days when I meet the likes of Sola Williams and Martins.. Oh Martins! 

He birthed Martha, the vengeful wicked teaser, with the crazy-who-cares dance steps. Now I remember the Anastasia-line- never trust a man who can dance- from 50 shades of Grey. And I smile to myself as I move towards Sola in the centre of the sitting room with a silent warning- never trust a woman who dances crazy like this. I am all over the dance floor to Baby Hello by Wande Coal and Dance for Me by Wizkid and Aye by Davido and through Yemi Alades Johnny and many others… My butt wriggles to perfection as I do the etigi dance. 

Then I komole and kosoke and it’s so much more fun because the steps just flow through without premeditation and the way Solas body responds to my every movement is just pure magic. Ah! Chocolate and caramel, you may say. I, the chocolate. He, the caramel. A perfect mix on the floor.

We hardly notice we are the centre of attention until the light goes off. Ah! Nepa!! 

Then comes the applause and whistle calls. ‘Gosh, you guys should hook up’ someone was saying. I hear the chit- chat in the background and his breathy laughter a few steps away from me as he holds my hand while Zara makes to put on her generator. We just stand there, unable to make out the facial expression of the other in the stark darkness. He pulls me upclose. My head rest on his chest, Cara on his belly again and oh, I can feel him beneath too.

Immediately power is restored, I pull away from him and inform Zara of my intention to get going. She let out a fake cry. She says she wished I could stay longer. I smile politely, thanking her for the wonderful evening! It is the best decision I have made in a long time, I note. I hand her my present, we hug and after a quick smile at Sola, I head out. He tags along. His eyes a smoky delightful sight under the evening bulb.

‘I had a wonderful time Folorunsho Davies.’ Ah, of course you did. Thank Martha.


‘Me also. I need to get going. Tomorrow is work day.’ I state the obvious as I make to my car.


‘Nice ride.’ I smile my thanks and hop into my ride before he says whatever it is he obviously has on his mind. He waves and watches me leave. Far out onto the street, I breathe easy. Damn, he is so Martins and that is so not a good thing…



Photo Credit‎: Wikihow

…….To be continued 


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Damore Ali is a poet, short story writer and blogger. She has been published on several online forums including Naija ‎Stories. She is an accountant by training and a lover of good music. Damore also goes by the name Dr. 2103. She blogs at https://minisculediary.wordpress.com/

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Photo of the day: We are proud of Nigerian women.

‎A recent study by the Bill Gates and Clinton foundation has revealed that  Nigeria women are the most enterprising women in the world‎. 41% of women in Nigeria are entrepreneurs. Occupying the second and third positions are Ecuador and Ghana!  

Igbo Kwenu! Genevieve Nnaji, Oge Okoye, Uti, others step out in Igbo outfits for Africa Magic Igbo launch

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Several Nollywood stars today ‎besieged Enugu, the Eastern part of Nigeria for the launch of the Africa Magic Igbo Channel. Spotted at the prestigious event include Genevieve Nnaji, Basketmouth, Gideon Okeke, Oge Okoye, Pete Edochie, Patience Ozokwor, ‎Uti Nwachukwu, Onyeka Onwenu, Kenneth Okonkwo, Eucharia Anunobi,‎ Clem Ohameze‎ and others.

Arsenal and Manchester United win joint award.

Neither Arsenal nor Manchester United will be claiming the EPL title this season but their quality of pitches have been adjudged the best by the Sports Turf Research Institute (STRI).
The Emirates Stadium and Old Trafford  high-quality pitches have won the Barclays Grounds Team of the Year 2014/2015 award.
The EPL Grounds Team of the Year is compiled using marks from match officials and match delegates and marks are given for specific aspects of pitch and management performance.
Credit: Arsenal.com‎

Photo: Chelsea striker, Didier Drogba honoured for charity work in Africa.

37 year-old Chelsea forward, Didier Drogba has been honoured with the Barclays ‘Spirit of the Game’ award for his numerous charity work in Africa.
Drogba who recently raised£400,000 for the Didier Drogba Foundation at a recent charity ball have supported hundreds of children in the areas of education, finance and health. 
Few weeks ago, The Blues legend  launched one of the five hospitals h‎e promised to build for his country as ‎part of his charity activities. 

“I come from a poor family where I played football in the streets with my friends with no shoes, there was no grass but we still enjoyed it. There is nothing better than when you see a kid with a smile on his face and that is why I’m trying to help. I want to do a lot of things in Africa, I want to give people the chance to dream, and it is easier to dream when you are in good health and happy.” He said in a video released by Barclays.


No regrets about re appointing Keshi- Amaju

The Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) boss, Amaju Pinnick has ‎disclosed that Keshi was reappointed as Super Eagles coach  because the organisation lack the resources to appoint top-notch foreign coaches.

Speaking on the BBC’s Focus on Africa programme, the NFF President said, “We made no mistake in re-appointing Keshi. In his first term, Keshi did a lot to encourage the boys in the domestic League, and the boy who scored our winning goal at the Africa Cup of Nations, Sunday Mba, was playing in the domestic scene.

“We don’t live in the clouds. If we wanted a foreign Coach, we
would probably go for someone in the class of Jose Mourinho or
Arsene Wenger. We don’t have that money presently and we don’t want to be owing our coach.”

“In the past, we played matches blindly. We didn’t know enough about our opponents and we didn’t even know enough about our own players – their strengths and weaknesses. If we had the ProZone match preparation software before now, we prob­ably would have beaten France and reached the quarter finals of last year’s FIFA World Cup in Brazil.”
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