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Managing Your Husband’s Moods

Who said men don’t have mood swings?
As with most things in life, romantic relationships are, for many of us, a double-edged sword: while most find it wonderful to love and be loved, developing intimate emotional ties to someone particularly one’s spouse (which is inevitable) makes one emotionally vulnerable—vulnerable not only to being hurt by one’s spouse’s opinions of and feelings toward us, but also vulnerable to being affected by our spouse’s bad moods.
If a colleague or a friend gets depressed, we’re often able to offer a comforting word or two without ourselves being drawn into his or her emotional maelstrom. However, when our partner becomes depressed or sad or angry or jealous or anxious, our own emotions are often triggered in unpleasant ways. Just what can we do to manage our own bad moods that arise as a result of our spouse’s?
Never take your relationship with your husband for granted. Everyone needs a constant supply of love. We ladies need to be more sensitive because men usually go through so many stressful matters at office or business place and when at home they deserve to enjoy tranquillity.
One of his key responsibilities is to care and plan for the future of his family, hence, his peace is vital for the progress of family. Complaining, nagging, blackmailing and name calling most often result in husbands seeking for solace outside the home which eventually ruins the family. We all have our high and low moments. Let us be a little more sensitive and accommodating when we observe them in their low moments.
Well, there are some simple tips to help you in relating with your man when he’s upset:
Don’t put fire into fire. Anger has this funny trait – it’s impermanent. Let him be angry by himself, he will calm down eventually. If you put more fire into his anger it may last hours or days. Remember his anger will pass but what you say to each other while arguing may leave scars forever. Be careful with the words you use at this time. You can’t recall negative words spoken to your spouse
Mood swings may result owing to a stressful work environment. As far as possible, do not ask about office and work after you guys are at home after work. Find out which type of conversation interests him to talk more and spend more time.
Address his anger when he’s calm.Don’t be surprised that your husband is still angry even when everything went according to his wish. 
Understand that the body is an energy system; it takes time for energy to settle. Usually it takes at least 20 minutes for the adrenaline to loosen its effect. When he’s calm, address his irrational behaviour calmly and share the hazards associated with harbouring anger for a long time. This will be helpful to him.
Pick your battles. The greatest generals know to only fight the battles they can win and don’t waste their resources on the ones they can’t. The less battles you fight, the more powerful will be the ones you decide to engage in. Not only they will pack a larger punch, you will be more likely to take your husband by surprise and win the ones that really matter to you. 
Above all, disagree to agree. Regardless of the bone of contention, your husband is not your enemy. Disassociate your husband from the issue on ground because misunderstandings will come and go, but your spouse remains.
“I’m sorry.”If you clearly played a role in escalating your husband’s anger then simply say “I’m sorry.” Nothing melts an angry heart faster than a sincere apology.Its wisdom to apologize when you’re wrong, but its maturity and strength to apologize even when you are not at fault just to give peace a chance in your home. It doesn’t make you a fool, it rather shows you are a wise, mature and strong woman. 
Apologizing doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wrong, it sometimes shows you’ll rather exude positive energy rather than further contaminate the air with negative energy after all, you don’t want to appear an irritable woman.
Do not tolerate condescending and dismissive attitude. It’s not constructive for him neither will it be for you. A man will only mistreat a lady when no one challenges his behaviour. If he knows he can always get away with it, he’ll say hurtful things to you to boost his ego over and over and that’s certainly not acceptable.
This may sound a bit harsh but if your husband treats you like crap once – shame on him, if twice -shame on you. Actually it’s a disservice for you, as well as him.Setting boundaries and clearly defining what you are willing to tolerate and making them known to your husband is one of the most effective anger management techniques around the house.
This is how it works- if you take the abuse over and over again then you are indirectly or practically training him that it is acceptable. Don’t tolerate this anymore, set your boundaries and throw a fit if you can to enforce them, send him into a little shock, it’s fine. Soon he’ll realize there are certain things you would not condone not out of disrespect to him but as a human being- deserving some basic form of dignity.
Generally speaking, it is wise not to get angry in response to your husband’s anger. If you weather out his verbal onslaught and remain relaxed he will likely be embarrassed about his behaviour and respect you even more. Dare to be different, be a peace maker and not a trouble brewer.
To your marital harmony…
Written by Oluwakemi Zaccheaus
Credit: Oluwakemi Zaccheaus/ Virtuedigest.com
Photo: Wiki how 
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Entertainment

I have 60 reasons not to vote for Jonathan – Wole Soyinka

Multi award-winning writer and Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka has implored Nigerians not to vote for the incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan in the forthcoming Presidential elections.
The renowned author made the declaration yesterday while speaking to ‎students at the 2015 edition of Vision of the ‎Child (VOTC) programme.
Citing the kidnap of the over 200 Chibok school girls last year, Soyinka stated‎ that Jonathan’s leadership has failed in his duties and thus doesn’t deserve a second term.‎
 “I have ‎sixty reasons ‎not to vote for the Jonathan regime. ‎I will not vote and I will not encourage anyone to vote for ‎the ‎continuation of this government, simply because your ‎colleagues numbering over two hundred were kidnapped.” He said.‎
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He continued, “And the government of this nation failed to show leadership. ‎So anyone who says after that ‎event that ‎I will vote or cast ‎my vote or ‎encourage anyone to vote for this regime must be ‎living in Sambisa forest.‎There has been a failure of leadership. Our children whom ‎you represent today have been betrayed.‎”
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“After that dereliction of duty, after that failure of leadership, ‎after that betrayal for our future, for anyone to ‎think or to put ‎words in my mouth suggesting that I will vote or encourage ‎anyone to vote for this regime is a travesty of intelligence.”
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Entertainment

DJ Xclusive Presents: Xclusive 2Face Legendary Mix Superstar

Guess who is back with another mind-blowing piece of music? None other than the intelligent DJ Xclusive. The ace disc jockey cum singer debuts yet another incredible body of work for fans of Nigerian music legend, 2Face Idibia.

Following in a line of past successes such as the Xclusive Wizkid Mix which saw over 380,000 downloads upon release last year, DJ Xclusive employs his magical touch to the catalogue of one of Nigeria’s greatest musical exports, in his stunning new collage titled the Xclusive 2Face Legendary Mix.

Marking the beginning of another cycle of monster hits, DJ
Xclusive spins an evocative feeling as he delivers up a slew of evergreen hits ‎back from the music maestro. Juxtaposing mellow love classics such as You&I and the worldwide hit African Queen with fiery dancefloor-baiters including Implication and No Shaking, the Xclusive 2Face Legendary  Mix delivers an incredible time-warping experience.

Prepare for an exercise in nostalgia as the mix spins through old but ever-potent songs like Nfana Ibaga and Enter the Place, even going as far back as his breakthrough hits with the erstwhile group Plantashun Boys such as Knock Me Off and Say You Believe Me. 
Listeners will also get to enjoy his massive collaborations with a plethora of superstars including R Kelly, Jimmy Jatt, MI Abaga, Dr Victor Olaiya, Ice Prince, Darey, Freestyle, T-Pain, among a host of others.

With this incredible curation of what is on its way to becoming a national treasure, DJ Xclusive has made clear his intentions to take over the year. The Xclusive 2Face Legendary Mix sets him well along the path to greatness, especially as he looks to the release of his album later this year. #Xclusive2FaceMix.

Download, listen, enjoy and share.

 Download Link:
http://bit.ly/1zaew6e

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Entertainment

New cases of Ebola identified in Liberia

This news is coming a week after Liberian President Sirleaf Ellen-Johnson declared that the treatment centre in the country had been closed. Sadly, new cases of the Ebola Virus Disease has been  identified‎ in the three communities in the western suburbs of the capital, Monrovia.
The announcement was made on  Monday by‎ Assistant Health Minister and head of Liberia’s incident management system, Tolbert Nyensuwah. Prior to this, only 2 cases were left.

The report is coming as parents and students prepare for the re-opening of schools. Nyensuwah
believes the new cases were spread by‎ some infected people refusing to seek treatment.

 He also wants government would to create a law that would  prosecute and punish anyone caught spreading the virus through negligence.


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Entertainment, Sports

Joseph Yobo reportedly dumps football for politics

Ex Nigeria international, Joseph Yobo has reportedly dumped football for politics. I’m taking this news with a pinch of salt. Albeit the former Super Eagles Captain and Nigerian football legend, Kanu Nwankwo have been visible members of President Goodluck Jonathan’s campaign team, that really doesn’t mean the latter has called it quits with the round leather game. And again, he could be seeking for a political post.

But sources close to the former Everton player disclosed that he is really through with soccer and infact he rejected contracts from Asia and America to concentrate on his support for the President.

“I can tell you that Yobo is no longer interested in playing football or anything related to the game now. Yobo is more interested  in paving the way for his political ambitions and from the way he is going, it is not a mirage.

“A couple of weeks ago, he turned down contracts from Asia and America to concentrate on his support for President Jonathan. Yobo is not stopping at just support alone, he is determined to take it beyond 2015.” The source added.

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Entertainment

Anti-Buhari Documentary: The Truth You Must Know | By: Usama Dandare

In it last ditch effort to come back at the eminent defeat in the February 14 general election, the PDP presidential campaign has resorted to a campaign of blackmail through documentaries of falsehood to mislead the uninformed Nigerians by discrediting the credible image of General Muhammadu Buhari, the APC presidential flag bearer who is globally acknowledged as an honest man of integrity and good moral authority.
In light of the above, i wish to set records straight for the emphasis of history by countering all their sponsored lies on electronic and printable media against the credibility of the people’s general. The following are some of the lies sponsored by PDP and President Jonathan campaign council to blackmail Gen. Buhari in the eyes of Nigerian voters:
They said, “Gen Buhari introduced religious fundamentalism to Nigeria when the Maitatsine sect unleashed violence on Yola during his regime.”…… The truth is that Buhari actually and promptly stamped the Maitatsine sect during his regime, he used the armed forces to totally crush the sect and stopped their activities, unlike President Jonathan that allowed Boko Haram to gather unimaginable strength and destroyed the whole northeast and it environs.
They again doctored another blunder that “General Buhari was a beneficiary of the missing N2.8bn oil funds when he was the minister of petroleum.”……… The alleged missing N2.8bn oil money was investigated by Justice Ayo Irikefe panel in 1980 and no one made mention of general Buhari in the whole saga and the panel also concluded that no such money was lost.
This baseless lie is just to distract the attention of Nigerians from the missing $20bn oil funds, $1bn excess crude oil money and several other funds all missing under Jonathan regime. General Buhari remains the only Nigerian who was onetime a minister, a state governor and a head of state without a single factory, a foreign bank account, a mansion in Abuja or any country abroad.
They later fabricated another baseless story that “Gen Buhari as head of state protected Governor Auwal Ibrahim of Niger state from prosecution when he was arrested with £14m and several millions of Naira in a suitcase at Heathrow Airport in London, United Kingdom.”……….. There was never a time where anything like this ever happened, it was only in the corrupt imaginations of the Jonathan campaigners that made it is possible to imagine some can carry £14m and several millions of Naira in a single suitcase. What an unprofessional lie!
They birthed a new deceit that “Gen Buhari during his regime imprisoned only southerners and Christians while northerners and Muslims were left untouched.”……….. The truth of the matter is that the people’s general never convicted anyone, a fully constituted tribunals did irrespective of tribe, religion, region or gender provided you are brought before the tribunals, the law will act on you.
The courts during Buhari’s regime imprisoned the former of Kano state, Late Abubakar Rimi, Alh. Sabo Bakin Zuwo, Alh. Bello Maitama Yusuf, late Alh. Adamu Attah, Alh. Ibrahim Gusau, Dr. Bukola Saraki, Dr. Jibrin Tahir, Alh. Bamanga Tukur, Alh. Lawal Kaita among others, can someone tell me that all these influential people above are southerners and Christians?
They concocted that “Gloria Okon, the celebrated drug courier disappeared in detention under the government of General Buhari.”………… The truth is that Gloria Okon was legally arrested and detained for drug trafficking under Buhari’s regime but her “disappearance or death” became an issue in the next regime after overthrowing Buhari’s government.
They again fabricated that “the Kalakuta Republic of musician Fela Kuti was razed down and his mother was killed by the regime of Gen. Buhari.”…………. It’s a lie, Kalakuta republic was bunt in 1978, about six years before Gen. Buhari became the head of state on December 31, 1983. So Gen. Buhari’s regime has nothing to do with the burning of Kalakuta republic nor the death of Fela’s mother.
They also alleged that “Chief Sam Mbakwe, former governor of Imo state ‘died prematurely’ shortly after his release from detention by the government of General Buhari.”……….. The truth is Chief Sam Mbakwe died at the age of 75 in 2004, 19yrs after the regime of Gen. Buhari. Dying at the age of 75 isn’t a premature death and 19yrs can never be a short period.
They said “Chief Bisi Onabanjo, a former governor of Ogun died shortly after his release from prison under Buhari’s administration.”………. Chief Bisi Onabanjo died due to an illness in 1990, 5yrs after the regime of General Buhari and 5yrs is not “shortly after” release.
They cooked another deceit that “there was massive corruption in PTF under the watch of Gen. Buhari as PTF Chairman.”………. Shortly after President Obasanjo took over, he set a panel to investigate corruption allegations against Buhari in the PTF, and Obasanjo himself recently pronounced that nothing was found against Buhari in the outcome of the board of inquiry he set. See the SUN and PUNCH newspapers of January 14, 2015 for more.
Their lies continue that “General Buhari seized the passport of MKO Abiola, the winner of June 12, 1993 presidential election.”………. The truth is that the government of Gen. Buhari didn’t seized the passport of MKO Abiola because his passport was seized by the then present government after June 12, 1993 elections, eight years after Gen. Buhari had left office.
They came up with another grand deceit that “General Buhari sentenced the first woman to firing squad in Nigeria.”………. The truth here is that General Buhari never convicted anyone during his regime, all criminal and civil cases were handled by the court of law with legally constituted tribunals headed by high court judges.
What Buhari did was he didn’t interfere or try to shield criminals from facing the wrath of the law, he believes in the rule of law and fully allowed the judiciary to independently discharge it lawful duties as provided by our constitution.
They came up with a picture of Segun Okonwo as the leader of National Union of Nigerian Students (NANS), saying the picture was taken “when General Buhari as the head of state waged war on Nigerian Students Union.”………. The truth is Segun Okonwo was the leader of NANS in 1978 almost five years before Buhari came into power, Buhari didn’t met Segun as NANS president.
The picture shown in that baseless PDP documentary was captured during the “Ali must go” riot when Nigerian students demanded the removal of Col. Ahmadu Ali (now the DG of President Jonathan campaign) as minister of education for the withdrawal of food subsidy in tertiary institutions.
They said, “Buhari promised to make Nigeria ungovernable if Jonathan wins in the 2011 presidential.”………. The actual truth is Buhari never made such a statement, it was Reuben Abati (president Jonathan’s spokesman) who fabricated this blackmail against the people’s general. Gen. Buhari took Abati to court and the presidency begged Buhari to withdraw the case for an out of court settlement, Buhari agreed and Reuben Abati tendered an unreserved apology to Gen. Buhari and to the general public for misleading them. (See Guardian newspaper of 11th July, 2013 for the apology letter.)
Having failed to blackmail the people’s general as violent, they alleged that “Gen. Buhari promised that ‘the dog and the baboon will all be soaked in blood’ if Jonathan wins the 2011 election.”……….. Gen. Buhari never mentioned anything like this. The General was addressing supporters from Niger state that paid him a visit at his residence in Kaduna, he spoke in Hausa and in the course of his statement, he quoted a popular Hausa proverb “Kare jini biri jini” and all of a sudden, the reporters who covered that event were not Hausa and doesn’t understands Hausa, they just went ahead to translate the proverb as “the dog and the baboon will be soaked in blood” without knowing the full context of the proverb, when in the actual definition it means “the fight will be fierce”.
They again came up with another fabrication that “Buhari asked Nigerian Muslims not to vote for Christian candidates.”…………. Gen. Buhari never said something like that in his whole life. The people’s general gave a speech in Hausa language in 2001 at a launching in Sokoto state, he said “people of Sokoto know themselves and when it’s time for elections, they should vote credible leaders that will protect them and their interest respectively.”
A Yoruba journalist named Ahmed Oyerunde who doesn’t speak or understand Hausa twisted the statement that Buhari said “Muslims should only vote for Muslims” in the next election, the reporter later confessed that he wasn’t at the venue where the event took place and that he doesn’t even understand Hausa language, he equally apologized to Buhari and the general public.
Keep in mind that the reporter, Ahmed Oyerunde have several records of collecting money and coming up with fabricated stories, he was onetime sanctioned by the Nigerian press watchdog for doctoring fake stories as early as 1990.
They said, “former governor of Sokoto state, Alh. Shehu Kangiwa was among those killed by Gen. Buhari’s regime.”…….. This is nothing but a blind and deaf lie. Alh. Shehu Kangiwa died in a horse accident during a polo tournament in 1982 at Kaduna, almost two years before General Buhari became head of state.
It is pertinent to note that very typical of President Jonathan’s administration, the sponsored documentary of falsehood is aimed to cause disaffection among Nigerians along religious, ethnic and regional lines. It is also a deliberate attempt to mislead the younger generation by rewriting our nation’s history for the selfish reason of re-electing President Jonathan.
My dear Nigerians, do not be deceived, the presidential election is about Insecurity, unemployment, Corruption, collapsing infrastructure and our nation’s fast collapsing economy among others. It is all about our lives, about our present and about our future and that of our generations to come. Don’t vote based on religion or ethnicity nor based on sympathy but rather, we should vote based on integrity, honesty, credibility, justice and track record of accountability and good governance.
Note: some part of this article are transcripts extracted from a video footage put together by the Media and publicity committee of the APC presidential council, Abuja
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Entertainment

Another Stowaway kid found in the tire compartment of a jet in Lagos.


A stowaway kid identified as Samuel Ogundeyi  was found in the tyre compartment of a private jet at Murtala Muhammed International Airport, Lagos, yesterday February 1, 2015.

The aircraft was about conveying former Petroleum Minister, Chief Dan Etcetera when the pilot decided to do a routine inspection only to discover the boy lurking in the tire compartment.

Two mobile phones without sim cards were found on him upon arrest.‎ He confessed to have entered the hangar through the facility of the headquarters, Air Defence Corps of Nigerian Air Force, which was next to the Presidential/ VIP Lounge in the airport on Saturday night. He added that he gained access to the tyre compartment of the plane through the help of a brother.
Source: Tribune


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Entertainment

Lights Out In Nigeria | By: Chimamanda Adichie

We call it light; “electricity” is too sterile a word, and “power” too stiff, for this Nigerian phenomenon that can buoy spirits and smother dreams. Whenever I have been away from home for a ‎while, my first question upon returning is always: “How has light been?” The response, from my gateman, comes in mournful degrees of a head shake.
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Bad. Very bad.
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The quality is as poor as the supply: Light bulbs dim like tired, resentful candles. Robust fans slow to a sluggish limp. Air-conditioners bleat and groan and make sounds they were not made to make, their halfhearted cooling leaving the air clammy. 
In this assault of low voltage, the compressor of an air-conditioner suffers — the compressor is its heart, and it is an expensive heart to replace. Once, my guest room air-conditioner caught fire. The room still bears the scars, the narrow lines between floor tiles smoke-stained black.
Sometimes the light goes off and on and off and on, and bulbs suddenly brighten as if jerked awake, before dimming again. Things spark and snap. A curl of smoke rises from the water heater. I feel myself at the mercy of febrile malignant powers, and I rush to pull my laptop plug out of the wall. 
Later, electricians are summoned and they diagnose the problem with the ease of a long acquaintance. The current is too high or too low, never quite right. A wire has melted. Another compressor will need to be replaced.
For succor, I turn to my generator, that large Buddha in a concrete shed near the front gate. It comes awake with a muted confident hum, and the difference in effect is so obvious it briefly startles: Light bulbs become brilliant and air-conditioners crisply cool.
The generator is electricity as electricity should be. It is also the repository of a peculiar psychology of Nigerian light: the lifting of mood. The generator is lord of my compound. Every month, two men filled with mysterious knowledge come to minister to it with potions and filters. Once, it stopped working and I panicked. 
The two men blamed dirty diesel, the sludgy, slow, expensive liquid wreathed in conspiracy theories. (We don’t have regular electricity, some say, because of the political influence of diesel importers.) Now, before my gateman feeds the diesel into the generator, he strains it through a cloth and cleans out bits of dirt. The generator swallows liters and liters of diesel. Each time I count out cash to buy yet another jerrycan full, my throat tightens.
I spend more on diesel than on food.
My particular misfortune is working from home. I do not have a corporate office to escape to, where the electricity is magically paid for. My ideal of open windows and fresh, breathable air is impossible in Lagos’s seething heat. (Leaving Lagos is not an option. I love living here, where Nigeria’s energy and initiative are concentrated, where Nigerians bring their biggest dreams.) To try to cut costs — sustainably, I imagine — I buy an inverter. Its silvery, boxlike batteries make a corner of the kitchen look like a physics lab.
The inverter’s batteries charge while there is light, storing energy that can be used later, but therein lies the problem: The device requires electricity to be able to give electricity. And it is fragile, helpless in the face of the water pump and microwave. 
Finally, I buy a second generator, a small, noisy machine, inelegant and scrappy. It uses petrol, which is cheaper than diesel, and can power lights and fans and freezers but only one air-conditioner, and so I move my writing desk from my study to my bedroom, to consolidate cool air.
Day after day, I awkwardly navigate between my sources of light, the big generator for family gatherings, the inverter for cooler nights, the small generator for daytime work.
Like other privileged Nigerians who can afford to, I have become a reluctant libertarian, providing my own electricity, participating in a precarious frontier spirit. But millions of Nigerians do not have this choice. They depend on the malnourished supply from their electricity companies.
In 2005, a law was passed to begin privatizing the generation and distribution of electricity, and ostensibly to revamp the old system rooted in bureaucratic rot. Ten years on, little has changed. Most of the companies that produce electricity from gas and hydro sources, and all of the distribution companies that serve customers, are now privately owned. But the link between them — the transmission company — is still owned by the federal government.
I cannot help but wonder how many medical catastrophes have occurred in public hospitals because of “no light,” how much agricultural produce has gone to waste, how many students forced to study in stuffy, hot air have failed exams, how many small businesses have foundered.
What greatness have we lost, what brilliance stillborn? I wonder, too, how differently our national character might have been shaped, had we been a nation with children who took light for granted, instead of a nation whose toddlers learn to squeal with pleasure at the infrequent lighting of a bulb.
As we prepare for elections next month, amid severe security concerns, this remains an essential and poignant need: a government that will create the environment for steady and stable electricity, and the simple luxury of a monthly bill.‎
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Credit: New York Times‎
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Entertainment, Sports

Angel Di Maria's home targetted by burglars.

Manchester United star Angel di Maria had barely settled down to dinner with his wife and daughter on Saturday at about 7:30 pm when they discovered that burglars had smashed windows and were trying to find their way into his Cheshire home.

The 3 burglars used metal poles to break through patio doors but fled the scene minutes after the alarm went off.
The police and Man United’s security team arrived the mansion and took them to a hotel.‎ The incident happened few hours after he featured in his club’s 3-1 win over Leicester City.

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