How To Beat Your Wife | By: Charly Boy
When I look back at my life, and all the stuff I did as a carefree, young and restless youth, I can’t help but shudder at some of my very bad habits. Yes, I was once short-fused; blowing off at the slightest provocation. It was pitiful.
Over time I have managed to rid myself of such sad habits but that can’t be said for a lot of men some of who, even late in their lives can’t still get over it, thereby losing their cool in their homes. No be small thing sha.
Domestic violence is an under reported crime in Nigeria, almost accepted as norm. Some men feel it’s their right, some feel it’s always the women who bring out the beast in them, while others will readily admit its a way of stamping their authority in the home.
Sadly, many don’t see anything wrong with beating their wives. How sad! Yes, am aware there are women who beat up their husbands, but those are in the minority and this piece ain’t about them. The most guilty perpetrators are usually men and the victims are mostly their wives and sometimes their children too.
Men abusing women is like a defence and coping mechanism for being or feeling WEAK in other aspects of life, sometimes including deep analog beliefs about masculinity. Men who abuse loved ones tend to blame other things or people for their violent outbursts. In some cases, it is a cycle: “my father abused me and my mom, so, it’s normal”.
Society doesn’t help either, it ingrains in a man’s psyche that macho bullshit; how he should be strong and if he can’t exhibit that in his daily public life, it’s ok for him to go home and prove his strength.
Abusive men are not limited to a particular status, it ranges from a bricklayer to a CEO or even a President, causing their women to perpetually live in anxiety and fear. Most of them tip-toe around their husbands, not because they respect these men, but because of fear.
A violent man might have grown up in a dysfunctional household but this is still not a reason to be abusive. It is an excuse, and a flimsy one at that.
Some men don’t come from humble homes where women are appreciated. Some of us come from homes that expose us to sex, gossip, male macho bullshit.
Values for treating women start with where you’re coming from, your background. However, beyond these, what fucks most men up is our BIG FAT EGO. It has everything to do with selfishness or overrated feeling of self-importance. QED.
Ego is the source of many negatives in the world. It is the false ‘self’ that Jesus said we should let die before we can gain everlasting life. Ego craves to be first, but we must be willing to be last. Unconditional love comes with humility, selflessness, abundant generosity, perfect responsibility, fearless confidence.
I no go brag, am not all that, but I dey try. God knows!
Now, for the man who feels trapped in this mad dance with his loved ones and is trying very hard to rid himself of this very terrible habit, do like me. If you start to feel that your fuse is about to burst, try and say nothing, hold it in for a few minutes and relocate yourself to another space, either in your house, or outside.
Allow some time to elapse before you express yourself, never talk or let your fist run amok when you’re upset; it doesn’t make for a good picture.
Even though I have cured myself of my short fuse, i still get tempted from time to time.
What works best for me now is silence. I go and lock myself in my room and will never utter a word to my lady until am sure am in control of my faculties. Since many moons ago, I have discovered that this is a very effective option in dealing with a very bad temper.
So next time you are with your woman and you feel like turning her into a punching bag, change the game, beat her with your silence for the period you feel like blowing your fuse. Na my way be that oooooo.
This is just my take sha, how you see am my guy?
This wristwatch costs over N2billion
Behold the Jacob and co wristwatch that costs $18million.
2015 Elections: 14 offences voters must avoid
As Nigerian Elections start tomorrow, The Nigeria Police Force has urged electorates to avoid the following offences during the voting exercises.
• Casting of vote twice or more
• Announcing false election result
• Stopping any other person from voting
• Revealing information on a ballot paper of another person
• Being in possession of another person’s voter card
• Disorderly Behaviour at polling unit
• Canvassing for votes at polling unit
• Shouting Slogan of a political party at polling unit
• Being armed with guns, sticks, stones or any other dangerous weapons at polling unit
• Loitering or walking about in a poling unit
• Using siren at a polling unit
• Snatching or destroying ballot boxes or Card readers
• Holding public meeting during election hours on Election Day
• Wearing or carrying badge or poster of a political party
• Inflicting or threatening to inflict injury on any person or persons at a polling unit
Singer, Banky W shares new photos to mark birthday
Looking good is serious business. Ask Banky ‘Wellington’. Mr Capable as fondly called shared these lovely pictures as he turned 34 today.
#NigeriaDecides: Read President Jonathan’s Broadcast Message On 2015 Elections
Dear Compatriots,
As we prepare to go to the polls tomorrow, I have come before you this morning to express my immense appreciation for the opportunity you gave me to lead this great nation of ours in the past four years.
I also wish to place on record, once again, my sincere gratitude for the support you have given my administration without which the significant progress we have made in recent years would not have been possible.
In spite of the many challenges we have had to contend with since 1999, our present democratic dispensation continues to endure and grow stronger in keeping with the yearnings and aspirations of our people.
We have all worked very hard to nurture and strengthen our democratic institutions and promote the good governance practices which they were designed to deliver for the better well-being of our people.
I believe I can say without fear of contradiction that we all clearly cherish the democracy we now have and will never willingly give it up for any other form of governance.
This much-cherished democracy of ours is about to be put to the test once again.
I urge you all to troop out en-masse to peacefully perform your civic duty of voting for leaders of your choice tomorrow.
As we do so, let us all – political party leaders, contestants, party members, party agents, supporters and ordinary voters alike, be very conscious of the fact that the eyes of the entire world are on us.
We must therefore comport ourselves in a manner that will further strengthen our democracy and consolidate our place in the comity of truly democratic nations.
I made a commitment on assumption of office to progressively deliver freer, fairer and more credible elections in our country. In keeping with that commitment, the Federal Government has given the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) all necessary support to ensure that it conducts very successful elections tomorrow and on April 11.
We have all been assured that INEC is fully ready for the elections. I believe that we can all trust that they are certainly more ready now than they may have been before security issues and other concerns necessitated a re-scheduling of the dates for the 2015 general elections.
As an administration, we welcome the fact that millions of Nigerians who were yet to receive their Permanent Voters Cards (PVCs) as at February 14, and would therefore have been unfairly disenfranchised if the polls had gone ahead on that date, have seized the opportunity of the re-scheduling to collect their cards and can now exercise their right to vote tomorrow.
We are also glad that our gallant Armed Forces have successfully stemmed the seizure of Nigerian territories in the North-East by the terrorist group, Boko Haram.
They have recaptured most of the communities and territories formerly occupied by the insurgents, making it possible for thousands of internally-displaced Nigerians to begin returning to their homes and communities.
I heartily commend the very courageous men and women of our Armed Forces for the immense sacrifices which they continue to make in defending the nation and protecting its citizens.
I also thank all Nigerians for keeping faith with us over the past six weeks.
I call on all political parties and politicians in the country to allow the free, unfettered will of our people to be expressed without any hindrance in the coming elections in keeping with the hallowed principles and tenets of democratic governance which we all profess.
The will of the people freely expressed through the ballot is the bedrock of all democracies and ours cannot be an exception.
Let us all therefore be prepared, as true democrats, to graciously accept the outcome of the elections as the rightful choice of our people from whom all political powers in our democracy must emanate.
My administration has done its utmost best in the past four years to deliver on our promise to positively transform our country. Tomorrow’s election is another very important milestone as we continue our march towards the fulfillment of our God-given potential for greatness.
The election offers us another opportunity to empower leaders of our choice once again, and to show the world that genuine democracy is alive and well in our beloved nation. I will like to restate my belief that no political ambition can justify violence or the shedding of the blood of our people.
I reaffirm once again, my personal preparedness to ensure fair play during the elections and to deploy the resources and institutions of state only in the manner prescribed by our laws. Let me warn, however, that as President, Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces, I am under oath to protect the lives of all Nigerians and the security of our country at all times. I will never abdicate my responsibilities in that regard.
Democracy allows dissent. It encourages differences and even fervent disagreements. But elections must never be mistaken for war or an opportunity to set fellow citizens against each other and tear our beloved nation apart.
Those who may harbor any intentions of testing our will by unleashing violence during the elections in order to advance their political ambitions should think again as all necessary measures have been put in place to ensure that any persons who breach the peace or cause public disorder during or after the elections are speedily apprehended and summarily dealt with according to our laws.
The nation’s security agencies are also fully prepared and ready to deal decisively with any group or persons who attempt to disrupt the peaceful conduct of the elections or cause any form of public disorder. Our dear country, Nigeria is the largest democracy amongst black nations of the world. We are a nation of great accomplishments, with a proud history of evolving affinities.
Let us go out tomorrow to vote peacefully and set a fitting example of political maturity for other emerging democracies to follow. I wish you all and our dear nation, very peaceful and successful elections. May God Almighty continue to bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
I thank you all.
Photos: Parents climb school wall to help their children cheat in exam
Cheating during exams is commonplace but this particular style takes the cake. Last week in the Bihar city of India, parents stormed the school, climbed the wall of a school building, perched windows of classrooms and handed cheat sheets to their 10th-grade children who were writing exams.
The disbelieving part was that the act was carried out in the full glare of the police, not even one tried to stop them. Gangster!!!
Short Story: Painless Toothache | By: Bunmi Adegbola
That morning, I was extra glad I wasn’t going to school. Don’t get me wrong o, I’ve always loved school but everyone, including me, needs a break once in a while. I had my much desired break one fateful day and I thought that was a good opportunity to see the world.
I stepped out with my dad and felt like I was about to have the best fun filled day of my life. I waved at my friends when I saw them on the way as we still had to take the same route to my “fun-factory”. My joys and imaginations knew no bounds, I was mightily excited.
I imagined going to an amusement park or somewhere someone was going to give us cake and coke. However, since it didn’t look like we were going visiting, I kept my cool knowing my dad knew best.
We got to a tall building, entered it and began to fill some papers. I still imagined that we were going to see my dad’s friend who had to have it on record that we came.
Then, we climbed and climbed dozens of staircases or so it seemed at the time. We finally arrived at the place and my dad talked to his ‘friend’ for a long time while I was eating biscuits and hoping my cake will come.
I was taken to a high chair that rotates, fun enough till we can go to the main place. Then my dad’s friend opened my mouth and started to poke me with a wooden knife, shining small light into it.
I didn’t like all of that but I trusted my dad’s friend was as nice as my dad, so I let him continue without following through with my idea of biting him.
He talked some more with my dad who then came to tell me he was going to leave me with his ‘friend’ for a while and come for me later. I thought the coke was coming. I obliged, with a smile.
He left without a smile and then someone brought injection. I don’t like injections but I’d pick it over tablets anytime, any day. Only those who have malaria take injections, I’m not hot or vomiting my rice, I don’t have malaria. I cried and shouted and said I want to go home.
Then, the woman promised me more biscuits and sweets and I slowed down a bit. My gum was injected and everything else was a blur. I came back up, feeling soft and empty spaces where four of my teeth used to be. I had been robbed!
Then the tears started. I didn’t cry because the removal was painful. I cried because my teeth had been stolen. I cried because my decayed teeth had been removed and I didn’t have them anymore.
I cried not because my problems had been solved but because a part of my person had been stolen and I made up my mind not to trust anyone who offered me sweets and biscuits again, except maybe cake sha.
You know, there are a lot of people like me out there. People who undermine their ‘private’ problems and pretend all is well. People who go out of their ways to bury their problems for the pleasures of the moment.
My teeth would ache for days and I would cry for nights. Nights when no one slept, including my dad. But the moment the pain subsided, I was back to sweets. When the toothache became less painful, I forgot my problems. I played with my root canal and thought fun (sugar) was good.
I played with fire and hoped it wouldn’t burn me. Stop and think for a while. Are there things you do that wouldn’t cause or make any negative impact now but would cause pains or regrets later?
Have you promised yourself to change several times and you keep doing what you said you wouldn’t do? I’m guilty of this myself. And today, I consciously make up my mind to really follow through with my decision.
Not eating ‘sweets’ might be difficult but it is possible. Not having ‘fun’ might seem unimaginable but it can happen, especially if I remind myself always that it is for the greater good. It won’t come easy and it won’t be as straight as a line but it will be worth it in the end.
Try something different today too. Don’t just read and forget what you read. Who knows who or what might be saved in the process.
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The writer, Bunmi Adegbola, is a scholar of Religious Studies who hails from Osun state. She is a young writer who has great passion for books and good music. Although she is yet to publish any of her fiction her several short stories are both inspiring and entertaining. She is an innovative writer whose use of words would paint vivid pictures in her readers’ minds. From her works you can’t but notice wit and humour even in rather tragic stories. Bunmi currently resides in Ibadan with her Family.
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Are you a writer? Interested in sharing your short stories on this
platform? Be our guest on our Short Story Fridays segment.
Email: ololade.olatunji@yahoo/gmail.com
Ebola: Health workers celebrate the closure of isolation unit in Sierra Leone (Photo)
We all have an idea of what these real heroes, the Ebola Health workers have been through in the past one year. Their selfless dedication and contribution to the fight of the fatal illness is noteworthy. Staff of the International Rescue Committee (IRC) are pictured celebrating the closure of the Ebola isolation unit in Sierra Leone.
More than 10,000 people have died from the deadly Ebola Virus Disease. 4,283 from Liberia, 3,712 in Sierra Leone, 2,241 in Guinea and 8 in Nigeria.
IBB condemns attacks on military officers turned politicians.
Former President Ibrahim Babangida has condemned the series of attacks on retired military officers turned politicians by supporters of President Goodluck Jonathan.
Citing a recent documentary on past military leaders aired on STV, the former Head of State said such hate campaigns undermine their past contributions to the country adding that nothing forbade former military leaders from contesting presidential election.
Below is his statement.
“In clear attempts to whip up support for PresidentGoodluck Jonathan, certain persons, groups and individuals have embarked on several campaigns of calumny against former military Heads of State and presidents who have had the opportunity to govern this country.
“Of particular reference is a one-hour documentary aired on SilverbirdTelevision on Tuesday night; 24th March, 2015 that deliberately impugned the integrity of Generals Olusegun Obasanjo, Muhammadu Buhari, my humble self; Ibrahim Babangida, the late Sani Abacha, Abdulsalami Abubakar, and T.Y.Danjuma; all of whom have had the privilege of presiding over the affairs of this great country at various levels.
“It is either that those promoting the hate documentary are intellectually delinquent or they suffer memory loss; or a combination of both.
“I have my very strong reservations about the contents and thematic focus of the said documentary. Apart from promoting hate campaign which clearly undermines the modest contributions of these former presidents, the commentaries in the documentary against the former presidents leave a sour taste in the mouth.
“Nobody is stopping anyone from campaigning for their preferred candidates contesting various positions in the elections, but to do that at the expense of the reputation, contributions, patriotism, loyalty and sacrifice of former presidents to the Nigerian state is, to say the least, immature.”
“The military is at present combating the dreaded BokoHaram sect to restore Nigeria’s territorial integrity. What law under a democracy forbids retired military personnel from participating in politics and presenting themselves for election? Over 90 per cent of American Presidents have military background.
“Leadership training is better grounded in the military than any other profession. And the military parades some of the best brains in any country, including Nigeria.
“In fact, some of my military students that I tutored have Doctorate Degrees.
“It is, therefore, callous, wicked, out-of-sync, cynical and a show of crass ignorance for anyone to undermine the military institution by embarking on mudslinging campaigns against former presidents and leaders with military background.
“While those campaigners are pointing their accusing fingers at us, they forget to recall that the present Director-General of the PDP Presidential Campaign Organisation is actually a retired military officer.
“It is this form of demonisation and stigmatisation that often compels us to exhibit esprit de corps amongst ourselves in support of our military institution and colleagues when the stakes are high.
“As disciplined military officers, we are patriotic Nigerians and must be treated with utmost respect and decorum.”