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Letting go of all Bitterness and Hate for the one I once loved – singer, 9ice's ex-wife, Toni Payne writes

It has been a good 6 years and now I can categorically say I have let go of all bitterness and hate I felt for a man I once loved. It has been an uphill journey but to find myself here is a blessing. . . Without getting into detail and backtracking too much, I’ll summarize it as a lot of naivety, a lot of bad decisions, and a lot of untrained media professionals ready to blow things out of proportion.



A man sang a song and for whatever reason known to them, Nigerian Media “professionals” decided to tag it as what it was not, and a lot of Nigerian onlookers decided to help spread it without knowing if it was true or not and unfortunately for me, I was caught in the crossfire. .

A lot of people formed opinions about me, some even hate me till today for something that was mere fiction. Such is life right? Till today, I still wonder how things got that far. I wonder how things got so nasty. I wonder how a once beautiful relationship turned so sour so quickly.

These days, we talk – a lot. We talk about what happened and how we got here. These days, we can now joke and laugh about the past. I ask a lot of questions because I really want to understand him and put myself in his shoes. . . I also hope he understands my every reaction and puts himself in my shoes. Through all the mess, we never really talked deeply about things. There was too much resentment on my side for me to want to allow him in.There was too much bitterness in my soul to ever want to forgive. I honestly never thought this day would come – that is how angry I was. There is a Yoruba proverb that states “when the ocean rises, you don’t rise to meet it.”

For every action there is a reaction and for every reaction there are consequences. I think sometimes, when you are finally in a good place, it is good to talk. Don’t just leave things like that, reach out to each other and talk about things. It is good for both parties to get closure. . . It is good to try to understand each other and move on with peace in your heart. He stands by his reasoning that he never mentioned my name or ever accused me of such, and even though I agree with him that he never accused me of anything, I stand by my reasoning that he still should have defended me against a very wicked rumor.  

He argues that he felt it would have escalated things, I argue that things got escalated because he did not speak up. We both believed in our decisions at that point. He felt silence was the best answer, I felt I needed to defend myself for posterity sake. . . At the end of the day, it is what it is. When the noise calms, we still have to deal with each other. When the curtains fall, we still need to have each others best interest at heart. I am not perfect but I can categorically say I did my best to be a good woman to him. I still do. I believe deep down inside, he knows this.  

I do all possible best never to speak ill of him publicly – and as far as I know, he does the same for me. After everything we went through, I always say it is best to keep your private life private. . I write this today not to deviate from that but it would be unfair to forgive wholesomely for something that was so “Public” while leaving the impression that I have not.

I know a lot of people think I hate him- I don’t!.
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I also write this today not to bring up the past but to go on record and let anyone that feels bitter inside know that it only gets better. Trust me, if I can move on from an entire nation thinking I cheated when I did not, you can also forgive whomever hurt you. . . Just let love and kindness in your heart. Bitterness is a heavy weight to carry and now I feel 100 times lighter. I believe the younger ones can learn a lot from our errors and most importantly learn about forgiveness.  

In life, we can only predict what we want from it,
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we can never ever guess 100% what it will give us. I spent so many years caring what others think till I realized in this life, the opinion of others is just that – an opinion. I believe I am starting my 2016 off in the right direction.

 I hope to work on forgiving others who contributed to this chapter in my story. I believe this is a great place to start. At the end of the day, we are family and I am eternally grateful for the grace to see this day. Cheers to 2016
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Entertainment

Wayne Rooney named 2015 England Player of the Year

Manchester United player, Wayne Rooney has been named 2015 England Player of the Year for the second year running. He garnered 37% of the votes cast by England Supporters Club members.
Stoke goalkeeper, Jack Butland also emerged the U21 England Player of the Year.
The forward’s performances last year was dismal, netting 5 goals in his eight appearances.
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Entertainment

The Ebola Movie And The Nigerian Way | By: Joseph Edgar

Nigerian style of bad belle is beginning to creep into the very laudable movie project ’93 days’ being produced by the Amazon Bolanle Austen Peters and my very good friend Dotun.
For the first time in my writing career I am going to be heavily biased simply because of the injustice that is about to be unfolded. These duo Bolanle Austin Peters and Dotun Olakunrin with the enigmatic Director Steve Gukas came together to immortalize the efforts of not only Dr. Adadevoh but all the hard working and very passionate staff of the Fist Consultant Hospital in their fight against Ebola. That their efforts deserved to be preserved and celebrated cannot be contested hence the powerful decision by these three wonderful Nigerians to put the whole story on celluloid.
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They not only decided to shoot a movie, but went on about it with the highest level of integrity and professionalism. A value that is not common currency in today’s Nigeria, before embarking on this journey, they got all necessary permission including the permission of some of the closest blood relatives of Dr. adadevoh the main participant in this saga.
After this they got one of the most legendary Actors Danny Glover at a tremendous cost and flew him into the country for weeks of shooting and editing. I was privileged to be at one of the shoots and watched with amazement the powerful talents both local and international brought together by this trio to tell this story. The shoot took them to so many parts of the country and involved grueling hours of hard work and pain.
At the end of it all, the Nigerian factor has now reared its ugly head. Someone somewhere claiming progenitor to Dr. adadevoh not minding the fact that this story is in the public domain is now claiming ‘right’ on the story. The fact that she shares bloodline with the late Doctor now gives her a platform to now want to throw spanners in the wheel of this progress.
Look let me state it very clearly here that this story is a national story. It belongs to us all as Nigerians. It’s a story that more than ever before throws the very positive values of Integrity, self sacrifice and patriotism into the mix, values Nigerians are not known for at the global stage. Nobody has a right on this story and I dare say that Dr. adadevoh in her courage was only a vessel God used to highlight these qualities as being part of the Nigerian DNA.
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A story wildly reported cannot be said to be the copyright of an individual. People have the right to tell this story from any angle they want to. I have not yet gotten the details of this impending wahala but that will not stop me from beginning to shout and I I’ll shout even louder when I get all the details.
We must learn how to celebrate our heroes without fear of being taken to the cleaners. We must encourage people as they daily show uncommon courage. This has made other countries become great because of the selflessness of its Patriots and citizens and the way they are rewarded and celebrated. No doubt permission from the families of people to be depicted in vehicles like a motion picture must be sought and gotten and infact the final works in my own estimation must also receive clearance by the immediate families to make sure that there images and memories are protected before release to the public. This I am sure the promoters of this movie would have done judging from their pedigree.
But even this throws up some questions. If I was going to do a biopic of the Late Lawrence Anini would I seek permission from his family to depict him as he was? Would the family grant us permission to portray him for who he was, of course we all know the answer. So my point is that a national story must be freely told and depicted in such a way that truth is not compromised.
Like I said, I await more details, till then I have taken my stance and I really doubt if I will ever move from this position even as I consider telling my own Ebola story from my own angle permission or not.

*********************************************************************************Joseph Edgar is an investment banker who writes as a hobby. He comments on trending issues in Nigeria and around the globe from a satirical point of view. He blogs at josephedgarng.blogspot.com

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Entertainment

Lionel Messi Named World Playmaker Of The Year

Barcelona star, Lionel Messi has been named the World Playmaker Of The Year by the International Federation of Football History and Statistics (IFFHS). The award was won by Real Madrid’s Toni Kroos in 2014.

Top 10 players 

1. Lionel  Messi – 168 points- Barcelona

2. Andres Iniesta – 91 points –  Barcelona

3. Andrea Pirlo – 54 points –  New York City

4. Eden Hazard – 22 points – Chelsea

4. Kevin de Bruyne – 22 points VFL Wolfsburg/Manchester City

5. Ivorian Yaya Toure – 13 points – Manchester City

6.Toni Kroos – 11 points – Real Madrid

7. Luka Modric – 11 points – Real Madrid

8. James Rodriguez – 10 points –  Real Madrid

9. Javier Pastore – 10 points –  PSG

Barcelona coach, Luis Enrique was named the World’s Best Club Coach in 2015.

Top coaches 

1. Luis Enrique – 165 points – Barcelona

2. Pep Guardiola – 86 points –  Bayern Munich

3. Massimiliano Allegro – 43 points- Juventus

4.  Unai Emery – 39 points –  Sevilla

5. Marcello Gallardo – 33 points –  River Plate

6. Carlo Ancelotti – 19  points

7. Diego Simeone – 12 points –  Atletico Madrid.

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Entertainment, Weddings

(Photos) Super Eagles midfielder, Ogenyi Onazi weds in Lagos

Super Eagles midfielder, Ogenyi Onazi and his fiancé, Sandra Ogunsuyi tied the knot at the Ikoyi marriage registry on December 31st, 2015. The ceremony was attended by few friends, colleagues and family members.
“I thank God for such a special day. Getting married is a milestone in the life of a man; to get married to a woman who you love and who loves you makes it even more special,” The Nigerian international said. 
 The traditional/white wedding ceremony will take place in the coming months.
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Entertainment

Bill Cosby's wife says He deserves every bit of the hell he's going through.

Isn’t there a limit to endurance? American Comedian, Bill Cosby’s wife of 50 years, Camille who  stood by him when allegations of sexual assaults were levelled against him months back has withdrawn her support.
A close source said she became furious and humiliated as the number of alleged victims of sexual assault increased. She has been aware of his escapades with women for years but had always insisted that her husband be discreet and not shame her.
The 71-year-old didn’t attend Bill’s court appearance last week and she reportedly does not wish to testify against her husband ‘because it’s so humiliating’.
“My husband doesn’t deserve jail, but he does deserve every bit of the hell he’s going through now even though he is still pretending that this hell doesn’t exist,” she told the friend.
A source said: “She has been thoroughly humiliated and believe me, her anger isn’t directed at the women.
Bill has humiliated her, and the affairs he’s had have gotten out of hand and this [charge] is him reaping what he’s sown.”
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Entertainment, Sports

Rafael Benitez sacked as Real Madrid's coach.

Hiring and sacking coaches at will. Real Madrid have dismissed the club’s manager,  Rafael Benitez,  seven months after hiring him. The club’s B team coach,  Zinedine Zidane has replaced him.
Rafael Benítez’s competitive record as Real Madrid manager:
Games: 25
Won: 17
Drawn: 5
Lost: 3
Win rate: 68%
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Entertainment

Official statement from the organisers of the Headies Awards

We are proud of what we have achieved over the years. The Headies stage has birthed the careers of many artistes who are of A-list status today. We are also glad that we have reinstated pride and prestige into the winning of a locally organised music awards and, we have celebrated artistic ingenuity for 10 straight years; a feat no other group before us was able to achieve. 
Every year, the screening team collate all creative materials released in the year in review and screen for nomination. This tedious process goes on for at least three months before the screening team comes out with a final list. The voting categories, such as ‘Song Of The Year’, ‘Artist Of The Year’, & ‘Next-Rated’ are left strictly for fans to vote and choose the winners. 
We wish to say categorically that we do not tamper with the outcome of the voting process. The limit of our involvement in this voting process is to advice the nominees to engage their fans and solicit for their votes. We do not accept any responsibility for failure on the part of the nominees or their record label, when they fail to do this. 
Unfortunately, most times, Voting, Year In Review and Definitions Of Each Category, are generally taken for granted by many artists. We can also attest to, and hereby state categorically that, there is no evidence that any of the artistes aggrieved and vocal about their displeasure to the turnout of the award, voted in the ‘Next-Rated’ category, as our voting process captures email addresses and phone numbers. 
We have ensured that the awards happened regardless of sponsorship, and that it gets better with each passing year, without giving excuses about challenges. We may not have gotten everything 100% right, but integrity has been our watch-word. The 109 Nigerian artistes that have won can attest to the fact that they did nothing different from those that have not. Awards by nature, are and will always remain, controversial except every nominee gets one. 
We try to ensure that winners are within reach before announcing their category, as the whole essence of celebrating talents will be defeated without that. While it is not out of place for an artiste or a party to vent their disapproval, we strongly condemn all kinds of improper conduct and the use of profanity on live television. In the same manner, we condemn provocative comments. 
In all, we see no use or reason for a disgruntled artiste or party to destroy valuable properties put in place to give them extra comfort before they perform or come on stage. This is totally unacceptable and will be addressed. We congratulate all nominees and winners of The Headies 2015 and wish them a more successful 2016.

Headies Secretariat.
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Entertainment

Adedavoh family rejects Ebola movie, 93Days!

There seems to be a major hurdle in the way that may slow down the release of 93 days movie. The film traces the lives of brave men and women who fought hard to end the Ebola epidemic in Nigeria.

Produced by Steven Gukas and Bolanle Austen-Peters, the highly anticipated flick features Hollywood’s Danny Glover and top-flight Nollywood actors.

The clog in the wheel.

The family of the late Dr Stella Adedavoh, the main character in the movie has distanced itself from the production of the movie. According to a letter released by the family yesterday, not only did they get the script after the movie was completed, the producers didn’t seek the consent of the family to use the name, image or likeness of the late Consultant for commercial purposes.

To cut the long story short, it wasn’t endorsed by the family and some characters were wrongly portrayed.

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