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God bless whoever stole the budget | By: Etcetera

It is very hard to explain to a non-Nigerian abroad that Nigeria is a country of over 200 million people. He/she would wonder how a country of over 200 million citizens became so tamed to the point of stupidity — that a few individuals could keep millions of people locked in hell for over 20 years would have been termed impossible, but as the world has come to know, there’s nothing impossible in Nigeria. We hold the record of the most persevering people on earth. We have an unbelievable threshold for endurance.
One of the reasons why I think Nigeria may never recover from her present predicament is because as a people, Nigerians love poverty. This is the only country in the world where a politician steals money and the people provide tangible reasons why the politician is actually supposed to steal.

This is the only country in the world where it has become acceptable that whoever gets into government is advised to loot with impunity. Looting of government funds is now fashionably done on a turn-by-turn basis. Listening to Nigerians defend their kinsmen who have looted the country is very sad: Abi if you get there, you sef no go chop? Abeg leave my brother make him chop him own, after all when your brother dey there, himsef too chop. Life na turn by turn. This is the mentality of the average Nigerian on the street.

If not for our level of docility, our government wouldn’t have the effrontery to tell us that they spent millions of naira to open a Facebook account. The National Assembly wouldn’t embarrass us by asking the founders of Facebook down here to set up their Facebook accounts. A governor wouldn’t tell us he spent N72m of taxpayers’ money to build a personal website and still be made a minister of the federal republic in this current dispensation.
The hard and soft copies of the 2016 budget documents President Muhammadu Buhari handed over to the National Assembly on December 22, 2015 was declared missing a couple of days back and Nigerians have been screaming like banshees how the country had been placed at the forefront of ridicule, forgetting that we have been living in ridicule for ages. Is the shame of a missing budget more embarrassing than the content of the budget itself?
With all the fight against corruption, what has changed? Have the police stopped collecting money illegally on our streets? Has impunity stopped in our petrol stations where fuel is blatantly and flagrantly sold above the recommended price? Has the leadership of Nigeria stopped living in comfort while the people live in poverty? Must we continue funding 10 airplanes in the midst of gargantuan poverty? The exchange rate is at an unprecedented high of N305 to a dollar and the minimum wage of N18,000 is about $64 and this same government has been advising us on the need to be prudent in our spending while public officials have failed to reduce their level of comfort. Even the proposed 2016 budget submitted to the joint session of the National Assembly showed that Buhari himself failed to heed to his own advice of being prudent.

How do you consider the stealing of the proposed budget as an embarrassment when President Buhari and Vice-President Osinbajo will be spending N2.2bn on travels and transport, foodstuffs and catering materials, refreshment and meals as well as honorarium in the 2016 fiscal year? This is a figure that is N710m higher than what was budgeted for the same under the immediate past government in 2015. A further breakdown of the budget for the presidency also includes general renovation of the Guest House at N387m, complete furnishing of the Guest House at N45m, purchase of computers for N27.5m and the construction and provision of recreational facilities for N764m.

A sum of N3.6bn was budgeted for BMW saloon cars for principal officers and another N189m was allocated for tyres for operational vehicles in the presidency. What is more embarrassing to you? That over 300 girls were kidnapped and nothing has been done to bring them back? Is it not more embarrassing that our soldiers are being slaughtered by a bunch of untrained terrorists because of the corruption within the military hierarchy? Is it not more embarrassing that the PDP is already calling for the impeachment of the president just after nine months of assuming office?

Abeg abeg, May God bless whoever stole the budget. He/she is a patriot. I believe he/she, like everyone else in the country, must have lost hope in our useless National Assembly and can’t trust them to cut down the discrepancies in the budget.

Nigeria's Odion Ighalo named Barclays Premier League Player of the Month

Nigeria/Watford striker, Odion Ighalo, has been named the Barclays Premier League Player of the Month for December.  He fought off competition from the likes of Mesut Ozil to scoop the prize.

The 26-year-old attacking midfielder has been in top form this season, netting  29 goals in 2015. Also Watford coach Quique Sanchez Flores also won the Premier League manager of the month award.

Stephen Keshi’s wife buried

The remains of Kate Keshi, the wife of former Super Eagles manager, Stephen Keshi were interred today January 15, 2016 at the residence of the Keshis in Edo State. The ex Nigeria international reportedly fought back tears as his wife of 33 years was buried. 

54 year-old Kate Keshi (nee Abureme), lost her three-year battle with cancer on 9 December at the family’s home in the United States of America. She is survived by her husband, 4 children, her mother, brother, sisters and numerous relatives. Photo Credit:. Pm news

Present at the funeral ceremony were her children,  friends, relatives, representatives of Delta State Government, ex-Internationals; Austine Eguaveon, Ike Shorunmu, Amodu Shuaib , Daniel Amokachi, to mention a few. 

Opinion: Kill Donjazzy | By: Bayo Omisore

So to start with, I am not a hater. I do not wish any evil on Don Jazzy or Michael Collins. If anything, I can be categorized as an interested onlooker when I want to be passive or an invested businessman active in the Nigerian music industry for the past 18 years. In addition, I am a writer. I have been told I am a very decent writer. Or maybe I’m living on past glory. Either way, I had another title I was working with. But I decided this one would attract the eyeballs I desperately need to get the attention I so desperately crave. 
Finally, I understand the workings of PR. Hell, I handled the PR of Mo’ Hits in 2006 when the only talent was D’banj. Back then, Wande was a dancer, Dr. Sid (I plead the Fifth) and D’Prince was a model. I do not wish death on Michael Collins. I however think the Don Jazzy brand is dead. Or should be rested. I’ll tell you why. Do you remember Don Jazzy? Remember that Soundcity advert. I remember the first day I met D’banj and Don Jazzy. This must have been either late 2004 or sometime in 2005. I had been in the business as a journo for a few years by then so I knew them. We had done a story on Mr. Solek at Hip Hop World in 2003. 
Jazzy had worked as the keyboardist of the band but he had moved on to music production working under JJC. He was very quiet; never uttered a word. You could have been forgiven for thinking he was mute. Back to the Soundcity advert. Don Jazzy didn’t say a word. Just whispered in D’banj’s ear while D’banj handled his business. It was brand new. It was refreshing. The ratings of the newly-established Soundcity music channel went through the roof. D’banj and Don Jazzy became the perfect example of a match made in heaven. Cobhams, if he could see them back then, would have known they were going places. So much so that Dr. Sid, a University of Ibadan-trained dentist and self-appointed administrator of eLDee’s Trybe Records, was happy to abandon that project and his album project to work under the tutelage of these relatively unknowns. 
After that, the communication from the Mo’ Hits camp was that Don Jazzy was the boss. He was being driven around town by a university graduate who earns an enviable salary working in an oil company (Fifth). Jazzy didn’t speak in public. He never granted interviews. He asked simply that whatever you wanted to offer to him should be offered to his ‘children’. (Note that he had been calling his artistes his children since the Mo’ Hits days. Nobody questioned it then because this is the Don we’re talking about here.) In fact, once, I was at the crib of one of the Mo’ Hits people, and he told me I had to leave because Jazzy was coming. I was genuinely curious and somewhat impressed. Impressed because they kept the charade going even off-camera.
Curious because, well, so could it be it wasn’t a charade after all? Remember all those award ceremonies where someone from Mo’ Hits would win an award and spend half the speech time praise-and-worshipping Don Jazzy? Or when Don Jazzy himself would win an award for best production and his wards would mount the stage to receive on his behalf even while he was seated in the front row in the same building. Guys, let’s be honest, these are the images of Don Jazzy that made him the brand he is today.
Those days when he only worked with his Mo’ Hits people and a literal handful of associates. In the real world, a don is a crime boss, crime lord, mob boss, kingpin, criminal mastermind; a person in charge of a criminal organization. He typically has absolute or nearly absolute control over his subordinates, is greatly feared by his subordinates for his ruthlessness and willingness to take lives in order to exert his influence, and profits from the criminal endeavours in which his organization engages. Replace the word ‘crime’ with music and you have Don Jazzy.
Mo’ Hits was an organized entity. At the head of it all was Don Jazzy; the Capo di tutt’i capi, the Godfather, the boss of all bosses. Complete with his staff. D’banj was his Underboss. Dr. Sid, being the most educated and exposed of the lot, was the Consigliere. The other artistes were the Caporegimes. The management and the other stragglers and hangers-on were the foot soldiers. In the golden words of Christopher Wallace, “things done changed!”   Fast forward to January 1 2016. Now I am not interested in who was right or who was wrong. For me, the happenings of the early morning January 2 2016 made the Headies. They set the tone for the year. This is entertainment dammit. Are you not entertained?!!! If you ask me, Don Jazzy had no business speaking to Olamide. 
I have seen enough Mafia movies to know that no Don that understands his worth would get so emotional as to entertain the thought of passing such a message on a public stage. That job is left to his Consigliere, in this case Dr. Sid, who is already disliked intensely for his supposed role in the Mo’ Hits breakup via the leaked tape. People would have talked. But Jazzy would have maintained his self-respect. He opened himself to ridicule the minute he opened his mouth on that stage. 
Don Jazzy had no business speaking to Olamide. I have seen enough Mafia movies to know that no Don that understands his worth would get so emotional as to entertain the thought of passing such a message on a public stage. I can trace this handfalling back to when Jazzy decided to start appearing in songs after the bitter divorce from D’banj.
The Don Jazzy we knew and respected from a distance fell from heaven and became human. In fact, the Kokomaster showed his disgust over Jazzy’s features after their falling out. I very much doubt this would have happened if they were still together. Not that I think they knew any better then, but they had one script and they kept it simple by sticking to that story. Of course, with the breakup and the subsequent interviews granted by D’banj, too much information was shared in the public space that caused irreparable damage to the carefully-crafted Don Jazzy image. 
I think Don Jazzy should have moved on to the next stage. Or developed a next stage to move to. He certainly should not have done Loya or Konga or Jantamanta (wtf?) as Don Jazzy. That’s not the Don Jazzy we were introduced to. In truth, while we loved and respected Don Jazzy for his mystique, his music-making prowess and his relationship with D’banj, there was only so much he could achieve as a brand. However, this new guy is fun, is funny, seems to be humble, is extremely generous and, as such, is an endorsement magnet getting business from an endless list of companies. As it should be. As a businessman, it makes every sense for Michael Collins to be this new guy with access to millions of advertising dollars. But he cannot expect to eat his cake and have it. Something has to give! Need I say more? 
In conclusion, I think that as the head writer in this story, Mr. Collins needs to kill the Don Jazzy character. It has made him money and fame. But perhaps its time to quit the ‘mafia’ and live a normal life. So, on a lighter note. What name should Don Jazzy go with now? My Guy Jazzy? That’s your round-the-way friendly neighborhood guy. Easygoing. No airs whatsoever. Daddy Jazzy. Re his kids. Judge Jazzy. Respected by all and lays down the law. Yet approachable in his manner. A friend to everybody and a friend to nobody. Bro Jazzy. The senior brother who opens his door to any and every. *Just in case you need to praise me or you take exception to anything in this article, you can find me on Facebook as Bayo Omisore and on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat as@ibayoomisore. Me I like Judge Jazzy o, lol. You nko? 

2016 CHAN : Super Eagles Match Schedule

Come Monday, January 18, 2016, the Super Eagles of Nigeria will kick off their 2016 CHAN campaign with a game against Niger in Kigali. The match will start by 5pm (Nigerian Time). Their next game will be against Tunisia on Friday, January 22, at Kigali. Time 2pm.

 FULL FIXTURES

Monday, January 18

NIGERIA vs Niger 5pm at Stade Regional Nyamirambo, Kigali

Friday, January 22

Tunisia vs NIGERIA 2pm at Stade Regional Nyamirambo, Kigali

Tuesday, January 26

Guinea vs NIGERIA 3pm at Umuganda Stadium Gisenyi

QUARTERFINAL  Sunday, January 31

Kigali – GROUP C WINNERS (NIGERIA, TUNISIA, NIGER, GUINEA) VS GROUP D RUNNERS-UP (ZIMBABWE, MALI, UGANDA, ZAMBIA)

Gisenyi – GROUP C RUNNERS-UP VS GROUP D WINNERS

Happenings Radio – A refreshingly different online radio

A new year brings new and exciting opportunities as Happenings
Media (www.happenings.com.ng) is set
for the launch of its online radio – HAPPENINGS RADIO.
Come February 2016, Happenings Radio will kick off an
intense virtual schedule that will celebrate a rich array of programmes to meet
the needs of its target audience.
Its pop meets authentic meets passion meets fashion meets
fun and music. Dynamic, rhythmic and inspirational!
Hugely ambitious, Happenings Radio will present viewers with
immediate feedback opportunity to interact with the rest of the world, share
personal opinions and diverse views on a range of topics.

According to Joy Isi Bewaji, editor of Happenings Media, “We
are looking forward to an exciting year at Happenings. Happenings radio will
articulate some of the thrilling and inspiring thoughts and conversations from
our listeners. It’s a whole new community that will bring to life our tweets,
our Facebook posts; bringing us even closer to our virtual friends.”

It’s the most exciting alternative. Plug in your earphones
and enjoy what we bring to you. It’s a blog that speaks, literally.

All the gossip and gist, politics and opinions, love and
relationships, art and literature, life issues and metro observations will be
voiced; your thoughts, verbalized; trending topics and arguments will be
brought to life. Hear your opinions LIVE on air.

And of course, music… like every day is a party!
Let’s make your virtual world more electrifying.
***
Happenings Media is an
online and print media which offers up-to-the minute entertainment, fashion and
lifestyle.
For more information
please log on to www.happenings.com.ng

You can also reach us
on our social media accounts: Facebook – www.facebook.com/happenings9ja;
Twitter – happenings9ja; Instagram – happenings9ja; e.mail –
[email protected]; [email protected]

Veteran actress, Iya Rainbow loses first daughter

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Veteran actress, Idowu Phillips, popularly called ‘Iya Rainbow’ is bereaved at the moment. The award-winning thespian has just lost her first daughter Lola to the cold hands of death. The lady who was planning to a trip to America today was rushed to a private hospital in Ojodu yesterday due to complications from stomach ulcer. Unfortunately, she passed on in the early hours of today. Her body has since been deposited at a morgue in Ikeja.

May God comfort her family and loved ones.

New Case of Ebola Confirmed in Sierra Leone

New Case of Ebola Confirmed in Sierra Leone

Less than 24 hours after the World Health Organization declared West Africa Ebola-free, a new case has been confirmed in Sierra Leone. Series of tests were carried out on a patient who died in the north of the country this week and they all confirmed that it was caused by Ebola.  The patient, a 22 year-old lady contracted the virus last week Thursday and died on Tuesday. 
“We can confirm the Ebola case in Sierra leone” WHO said in a statement.
 Langoba Kelly of Sierra Leone’s office of national security told reporters in Freetown,“The swab test on the victim after her death was done three times and all proved positive.
“Our level of preparedness remains high as we did not stand down or dismantle any of the structures that we had used to fight the virus before.”

Short Story: Pristine | By : Morountodun (Vol 7)

Read Parts 1,2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 of the Pristine series herehere  Here Here here here
It was the coldest January she had
ever experienced in all her twenty years and seven months, and Dara usually
didn’t handle cold so well. As if it wasn’t hard enough to have to travel so
far from home only a day after the New Year to allow her settle in for a few days
before work resumed, the cold shocked her—puzzled her, even. It blew like wind,
numbing the face, fingers, every part of the body left uncovered, and
threatening to whirl one off to freezing point.
Dara’s plan the past four years
had been all about graduating top of her class. To do that, she had studied
hard, kept distractions at bay, mixed with like-minded people, and had had a
four-pointer CGPA in Biochemistry to show for it.  Now school was over, real life had begun, and
her new plan was to live it. This meant staying strong. Strong enough to get
out of bed every morning no matter how tempting it was to just lie under the
duvet. Strong enough to endure the lousy accommodation her PPA had gotten her
in a nearby compound with poor drainage. Strong enough to face the school
children with a bright smile everyday because it was her duty for the next ten
months. Strong enough to protect herself from the extremely harsh weather with
the thickest clothing items she laid her hands on. Strong enough to enjoy Gombe,
no matter what, because she had had a chance to leave but had chosen to stay
and so had no right to utter a single word of complaint.
                                                               
******************
“Good morning, fellow corps
members. Hope everyone had a fun holiday, especially those who travelled home
even though there was no official permission to do so”
—there were mumbled jokes
and laughter—“To all batch A and B corpers, it’s a new year and CDS has fully
resumed. I urge us all to endeavour to make meaningful contributions to the
group this year for better results than ever. To the batch Cs that have newly
joined us, this is environmental sanitation community development service
group, where we try to enlighten ourselves and the community at large on how to
maintain proper hygiene in our surroundings. We hold our meetings every
Thursday between ten a.m. to twelve p.m. You are all very welcome, and your
contributions and full participation in this CDS will be highly appreciated.”
After the president’s speech, the
group secretary read out the minutes of the last meeting they had held, and
plans for batch C welcome party/batch A send forth party were discussed. Dara
observed quietly from the back row of the old building they used as classroom,
wanting to form an objective opinion as opposed to the ‘waste of time’ she had
heard CDS popularly being described as.
Before the close of the meeting, a
slim, fair guy that sat in front of Dara got up to speak. “I think it’s
important to let the new members introduce themselves briefly so we can at
least get to know their names, schools they graduated from, disciplines, PPAs,
etc.”
There were only two other new
guys, and after they had spoken, Dara got on her feet too. Smiling, she said,
“My name is Oluwasarasimi Adegbite—Dara, for short. I’m from Kwara State, I
studied Biochemistry at the University of Ilorin, and my PPA is Amazing Grace
Primary School.”


“Status?”

“What?”

The guy that had spoken earlier
turned to look at her, and repeated himself with a straight face, “Your marital
status. Single and seriously searching? Engaged without a ring? Married but
left ring at home?”


Everyone laughed. Dara replied
with a grin, “Single but not desperate.”
Later when he walked up to her
where she was waiting by the road for a bike to take her home, his opening line
was, “I’m not desperate either, but I think you might want to know me.”
“Really? Why?” she asked, amused.
He shrugged. “’Cause I’m cool and
you need someone to show you around town.”


“I’m settling in just fine,
thanks,”
Dara smiled at him.

He sighed. “I’m trying to be
not-so-desperate here but you’re desperately trying to prove me desperate. Not
cool.”


“What’s your name?” she asked him,
squinting under the sun. It was amazing how the sun was up and yet the air was
cold.

“I’m Chika. And you have a lovely
name. Dara. Means something good, right?”


Dara nodded. “I’m sorry I have no
idea what yours means.”


“That’s alright. I was born and
bred in Lagos, so I probably speak better Yoruba than Igbo,”
he told her,
smiling. He noticed she was shifting from one leg to the other, so he said, “I
realize I might have held you here for abit longer than I should have, so I’ll
just stop the next bike that comes around for you while I desperately ask for
your number.”


“Okay, that’s enough desperation
for one day,”
she laughed as she punched her number on his phone before getting
on the bike.
                                                          
************
The following Thursday, Dara woke
up with a headache. She had a pack of pain relievers, so she took two tablets
during breakfast, before she left for CDS. She got to the venue right on time,
but Chika had already saved her a seat next to his at the middle row.
“I would have given you a call
since last week, but I had to make an urgent trip oer the weekend and got back
last night,”
he said, leaning towards her as she sat, after he had motioned her
over.

Dara nodded and smiled politely.
She had actually not given him any thought till she had seen him again. Writing
lecture plans and notes and marking assignments for two different subjects kept
her busier than she thought she’d be as a teaching corper. She liked it though,
how the days gradually passed without her realizing because she had been
absorbed with work.

She must have lost concentration
at some point, because suddenly there was a general laughter and she didn’t
know what it was about. What she felt instead was body pain and an impending
fever.
Chika leaned towards her again and
asked, “Are you alright?”

“I feel really hot.”

“You’re burning up,” he confirmed
by placing the back of his hand against her neck. “Did it just start?”

She winced in reply as the
headache returned.

“Damn mosquitoes,” he muttered.
Then he walked over to the front to have a word with the president, and soon
came back to tell her, “Maybe you should go home, Dara. You shouldn’t stress
yourself if you aren’t feeling well.”


She tried to argue, but the
headache intensified. He followed her when she got up to leave. “I-I’ll be
fine. I’ll just go and rest at home,”
she said as they walked to the road.

“Alright. But you should see a
doctor or at least get drugs to take. I’m guessing it’s malaria. Has this ever
happened to you before?”


“Yeah. Curse of an AA. I’ll stop
at a pharmacy on my way home, I think there’s one on my street,”
she replied,
trying not to alarm him any more than he already was, but actually feeling
worse.
“How about I come with you?” he
offered.

She managed a smile. “Thanks, but
that shouldn’t be necessary.”


“I want to. That way I’ll be sure
you’re going to be okay.”

“I will be—“ She stopped talking
and groaned, holding her head in her hands.
“I insist.”
He waited outside her one-room
apartment so she could change from the khaki uniform into something more
comfortable, then watched her take the physician’s prescription. She soon fell
asleep on her slim mattress, and when she woke up forty minutes later, he was
lying on the carpet with his head beside her legs on the mattress.

“You’re still here.”

She watched him, confused, as he
walked towards her hotplate to uncover the pot on it. Even with the delicious
aroma of noodles that filled the room, she still had to ask to be sure. “You’re
cooking?”

He shrugged, squatting to stir the
pot’s content with a fork. “I figured you might have to eat something when you
woke up. I wasn’t so sure you didn’t take the drugs on an empty stomach.”

“I ate before leaving home in the
morning. But it’s really thoughtful of you to do this. Thanks,”
she told him,
touched.

He grinned. “Actually I’m not the
gentleman you’re thinking I am. I’m just a hungry man who discovered your
carton of noodles. Didn’t want you staring at my mouth so I made enough for
two. How’re you feeling by the way? Any better?”


“Yeah…fine. But you’re something
else, Chika,”
she replied, trying not to laugh for fear of the headache
returning.

…Eating together on her carpeted
floor that early Thursday afternoon marked the beginning of a friendship,
without either of them realizing it.

*********************************************************************************
Morountodun is a writer and a microbiology ‎ graduate of University of Ilorin.
Twitter: @Morountosweet




*********************************************************************************
Are you a writer? Interested in sharing ‎your short stories on this

platform? Be‎ our guest on our Short Story Fridays segment. Email: [email protected] or ololade.olatunji@yahoo/ gmail.com

Atletico Madrid react to transfer ban

Spanish club, Aletico Madrid have officially reacted to the transfer ban handed to them by FIFA today. Below is a statement from the club.  

“Club Atletico de Madrid has received today a resolution of the FIFA Disciplinary Committee why we punishable by banning enlist players or foreign nationals during the next two periods procurement integrity and a fine 900,000 Swiss francs (about 820,000 euros). According to the notice issued by the international football body, the penalty is caused by the infringement of Articles 5, 9, 19 and 19a and Annexes 2 and 3 of the Regulations on the Status and Transfer of Players.
“Our club does not agree with the sanction decision and examine all documents received for filing an appeal against the penalty.”

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